Stupid family

Avatar for dmm11730
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Stupid family
7
Sun, 02-01-2004 - 9:30pm
I question if my family is really this stupid or is it me? You guys be the judge here. Long week, helped hubby with the office at the shop. No pay mind you, did not ask for any either. He was sick with upper respitory infection so played nurse besides secretary this week. Mind you I did my normal house, wife, and mommy stuff too. Now on Friday I run and buy the guys their lunch (Friday is McDonalds day)and I figure while they are eating I will go and get my nails done. I broke 2 this week from working. I get back and hubby does the what do you mean you need to have your nails done. Passes a comment about me spending too much money and then goes on to tell me he told a customer (who is a good friend) that he can borrow "my" car for the afternoon until Bill finishes fixing his. Alright, now as to not be the b*tch I drop the keys and go home. Told him I was not coming back, I did not want to sit there and smell the McDonalds. Went home and did stuff around the house. Got ready for a wake we needed to go to. Jump to later that night hubby wants to know why I have an attitude and I can just go home if I am going to be like that. I procede to tell him where to stick his attitude and gave him more of it.

Saturday is the wake, church and then chapel at the crematory. Long morning and now I am coming down with hubby's sore throat and chills. Get through the morning and we come home. I am not as angry especially after this funeral. Makes me realize what I really do have and besides hubby is being sweet and he did say he was sorry. He is gone all afternoon with shop left over work and I do the mommy stuff, take Katie to her riding lessons, and back home. I did not cook so we got our Chinese food for dinner. Got the kids to bed and fell asleep on the couch until 11. Went upstairs and I tossed and turned until around 3. Fell back asleep from 3 till 7 and then began to feel real yucky and was coughing. So I went down stairs and fixed myself some tea and then fell back asleep until 10 in the recliner.

Bill had things to do this morning so he disappears. Katie has a friend come over for the afternoon. The boys are out doing thier thing. I clean (which lately I feel like that is all I do), I do some laundry, I make homemade lasagna, and set the dinning room table. At 5:45 I realize the guys are no where to be found and I am getting a little upset. Heck its Sunday and they should be around, especailly since they know I am making dinner. They stroll in around 6:15 when the lasagna is out of the oven and ready and just sit. I was like fix your own drinks this mom is not the maid and she is done. After dinner they did help clean up but then they disappear. Katie watches TV, Rob is upstairs doing the teenage thing, Billy goes out with his friend, and Bill is on the couch watching the Super Bowl. Bill just asked me to make him coffee and fix him a peice of cake. I was like I am sick now do you think maybe someone might fix me some tea. Oh no! Nothing. I was dying for some tea so I made tea and yes him some coffee. He asked for some cake at that point too, the nerve right? I handed it to him, told him I was taking my tea inside, had my cough medicine and then I was going to bed. He was like OK. I do not get my family they just keep taking and taking and like a jerk I keep giving. I wish I was ballsy enough to walk out on them. But I am not. I think they are part of my problem with sticking to anything and doing stuff for me. I need to start doind for me. Do any of you deal with this? Or am I the only jerk?

Deb

Debbie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: dmm11730
Sun, 02-01-2004 - 10:16pm
Deb, I feel for you! I completely understand & have been thru that cr*p! I wonder if there is a man out there that understands that we women would like some TLC too!!! Also, we do too much these days! I know there are a minority of men out there who are family caregivers, too. However, women have it worse than ever before! Alot of us have jobs out of the home and/or go to school and still do the housework & feeding/caring for everyone (not just kids, the old man, too!). It is so unfair! That comment your dh made about your nails & spending too much money - really!!! Also, loaning out your car!!!

My ex found it impossible to be nice to me when I was sick - I didn't want him to wait on me, I just wanted to be by myself & not to wait on him. He made sure I waited on him no matter what. He was so excited when I got a management job, but yet threw fits when I had to put in comp time, as all managers do. That high salary didn't mean a thing after he figured out I had to put in more than 40 hours & he had to take care of little ds some. Now that I'm divorced, I still have to put up with a male attitude at my job when I'm sick. I come in no matter if I'm sick or not. I won't elaborate on the injustice of the perks men in the workplace receive, but it just tickles me to no end when I hear a man brag about how he doesn't expect his wife to come home from work and cook - I feel like telling him that thought should never enter his mind in the first place! These attitudes are sick! I hope my ds does not treat his wife in such manners as the men do their wives out here. I'd rather him remain single than unfair to his wife.

I wish I had some good advice on how to get the peace & respect you deserve! Maybe we should just be big b's!!! Now that my ds is older, I do make sure he fends after himself when I am under the weather. He WILL get used to the real world in my home! He will understand that women have a right to rest and spend money, too!

Hugs and I hope that your family gives you a break soon,

Kat

Katherine (Kat)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: dmm11730
Sun, 02-01-2004 - 11:26pm
Deb,

       ~~Rhonda~~


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Avatar for dmm11730
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
In reply to: dmm11730
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 7:56am
Hey Rhonda I think I sent you that email and of coarse when I was reading it I thought about myself. It was funny. Don't get me wrong hubby is far from lazy. Heck the man works hard. But his lack of consideration towards me now and then just pisses me off. The Friday attitude, lending my car. When I said something I was wrong in his eyes. Heck his truck was on the side yard covered in snow. Saturday was upsetting because he went into the shop at 2 and got home at 6:30. He does not normally work on Sat but I understood he needed to so he could catch up. I had no problem with that. But yesterdays disappearance got me angry. He is the one who pushes the "Sunday is family day".

I think what makes me angry is that he was pissed at me when he climbed into bed. See I usually keep quiet and they usually do not realize. I passed the comments before dinner when they all came home. I then said something at 8:30 while he sat on the couch as I made tea, and coffee, and finished cleaning up the kitchen. Yeah I was angry. I felt like crap. He finally came to bed around midnight and never said a word, he usually touches me somehow even if he thinks I am asleep, nothing last night. This morning I woke him and he got up and that was it. He left here at 7:30 and did not say have a good day, how do you feel, nothing. This hurts me, and I do not feel I deserve this.

I guess my best bet it just to remain extremly low. My middle son is home sick complaining his stomach really hurts. I have erronds to run and stuff to keep my busy. I usually stop there during the day or call I will not do either. After I take Katie to school I will go to Curves and do my workout. Come home and hop a shower and then do my things. Maybe my silience will get his attention but the kids are going to know to knock it off. As a matter of fact Miss Katie just came down and passed a comment about Rob being home sick and I told her to mind her own business. Argh! Kids and husbands they can drive us crazy. Well time to finish my tea and get the day going. Thanks for listening and responding.

Deb

Debbie

Avatar for dmm11730
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
In reply to: dmm11730
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 9:18am
Wait now it gets better. Hubby just popped in to check on Robbie. I ask why are you mad at me, his response. "Because I gave him an attitude last night, when I made him coffee" What the heck? I just said to him he has some nerve, I played his sect last week, did not get or ask to be paid. Played nurse, ran and got his medicines and so on. Now its my turn. I said what is he really that stupid, he should know how I feel since its the same cold he is just getting rid of. I said how dare he be pissed at me, while he was sitting and waiting for coffee while I was still cleaning up the kitchen from dinner and feeling like crap. Its my turn to get some TLC here. Now Katie just called she forgot her clarinet and I have to run it to the school before her lessons. I told her maybe it will show up there, and maybe it wont. How dare she, especially after her comment because I did not wash her favorite socks yesterday, since I picked them up and put them into the hamper on Sunday afternoon after I stepped over them 6 times in the den. Man I am fuming now.

Deb

Heading to Curves to work off this anger

Debbie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: dmm11730
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 10:44am
Tonight, I'd say you should retire to the easy chair or your bed in your robe, with a good book, some tea & your pat response to any request should be, "No, I feel too sick".

Good for you for heading to Curves!

Katherine (Kat)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: dmm11730
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 11:02am

You're right! You did send that email. Sorry. I was going down the list looking for titles and didn't even see who'd sent it to me, and with my short term memory... Well, it was a good one I wanted to share with everyone anyway. Maybe you should post a printout of it on the fridge. ;-)


       ~~Rhonda~~


<

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2000
In reply to: dmm11730
Mon, 02-02-2004 - 11:27am

Deb, I've just read all your posts in this thread.

C