Reevaluating

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2001
Reevaluating
6
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 7:38am
I've really been doing a lot of thinking over the past week (a dangerous thing I might add for me sometimes). Maybe it's the thought of spring and trying to think things through without getting down on myself and trying to come up with some positive things to change to combat everything that is going on around me. So while thinking these things through and there are always such great thoughts here I figured I would put my thoughts down here and see if you have any ideas, thoughts, suggestions for me.

First of all I really have been tormented by this fatigue thing. It's just hit me really hard and it's just really been difficult to live with. I still don't know whether it's hormonal, physical, BP medication that I'm currently on or maybe just a mental state of mind. My workouts used to give me that lift for the day that pretty much left me with a little extra energy to get me through the day. It just doesn't seem to be there whether I work out or not. I'm finding the treadmill and a good hard walk outside has been hard on my hip joint and my knees. I've cut back on the speed and the # of times that I go on a week. I'm been mixing in my video tapes and working with hand weights at least 2x to 3x a week and try to get in 45 minutes to an 1 hour at least 5x a week. Again, maybe it's just a mental thing and just bored with everything at the moment. Any suggestions?

Another thing is the state of my house at the moment. Sometimes I just feel like I'm doomed to living in a state of clutter and chaos. The house needs to be purged and decluttered. I've successfully tackled a few projects over the winter. My office space at present is in the basement where everybody who doesn't know what to do with things has thrown them in the basement. I'm totally overwhelmed my knowing where to begin down here. My younger DD has helped me to put some perspective to the project and has promised to help me on the weekends when she's home. Of course, one of my major feats will be convincing DH to part with some of the stuff that's down here. He has gotten a little better but his old newspapers and books that he hasn't opened in years are down here and in our bedroom as well as a set of the biggest, ugliest stereo speakers in existentence that belonged to his aunt. He wants to put them upstairs when I get to create my new office space and I want them on the curb, but he insists that they belonged to his aunt and shouldn't be thrown out. Just being down here unnerves me and I just have trouble functioning in this type of atmosphere.

Work has become an issue too. I think a good portion of the problem relates back to the fatigue. I find I'm not as detail orientated as I need to be and I find things again piling up around me and not quite being able to get a handle on it. The other is a coworker who just drives me to biting my tounge continually. She's obnoxious, loud, bigoted and really is not very good at what she does and I find myself constantly on the verge of being nasty to her. I've really been working on ignoring her but after 2 years of working with her there are just days when it wears me down. There are days when I certainly do wish I used a dictaphone and could tune her out.

I guess my final thing to work out is feeling like I work before work, work at work, come home and work some more until I finally sit down at night and for the most part don't enjoy anything that I used to enjoy. I love to read but find that either I'm asleep before I finish the first page or if I sit to watch TV with DD the next thing I know she's yelling, "Mom you're asleep". Counted cross stitch that I used to do on a daily basis hasn't been touched in a very long time. I just don't have the concentrationWeekends are the same way. Saturdays are a constant go, go go to catch up on everything that hasnt been able to be accomplished during the week. I have to say I've let certain things slide that just aren't that important. Dh has actually been more helpful on Saturdays and has picked his chores that he doesn't mind doing and the kids are all on different schedules and they've improved but it still seems like they need to be told on a constant basis of what they should already know to do for themselves. It just seems like an endless list of to dos. Sunday's a lot of times shape up the same way although I have vowed that when we're home Sunday afternoons are mind to do what I want to do.

Anyway, I have certainly rattled on long enough and if I don't get off the computer now I'm going to be late for work. I hope you don't mind that I put my thoughts down here and if you've gotten through my novel-thank you! Just any thoughts or things you do or think I should do would be appreciated.

You're all the best.

Susan

Avatar for bootywhompus
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: bnl7953
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 9:14am
I am so in your boat right now! I totally get what you're saying about motivation, fatigue, family issues, aches & pains....yep. Work, work and more work. Part of the re-evaluating I've been doing lately is to decide which work is important and which can wait a while.

My concentration at work has been off as well. I wish I had a magic answer for all these problems, I'd share with you.

Lori

Lori

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2000
In reply to: bnl7953
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 9:35am
Don't we all go through ruts like that, often prolonged? Our minds are elsewhere, it seems. I've not been able to get motivated on various projects I'd like to do, and at times it gets me down and seems overwhelming. I managed to go through the linen closet in the hall the other day out of necessity, though it'd been something I'd wanted to do for a while. Felt great, but didn't give me the impetus to do the cabinets ;^), which I also want to do. These days, I try to keep the clutter down, but try not to let other things get me down. There are only so many free hours in the day.

With the fatigue... sounds overly simplified, but have you thought about adjusting the amount of sleep you get? In reading your answer to Deb's (dmm's) post, you're getting between 6-7 hours of sleep a night. Most people have a sleep deficit and need more than they get, though they often don't realize it. Napping on the couch with the TV going isn't the deep sleep that we all need. I can function on 7 hours for a long period of time, but ideally 8 to 8-1/2 hours is what refreshes me. You might find that the little things don't get you down as much, and you have more energy at the tasks you must do.

BTW, my home is protected by Killer Dust Balls.












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C

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2001
In reply to: bnl7953
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 10:54am
I was talking to a friend just this morning who was dealing with much the same issues regarding the state of her house.I know I often feel like I get no help here with trying to keep the house neat.It's a battle I'm tired of fighting.So no answers there just understanding.

I was on BP meds for years for migraines and it was only after coming off them that I realized how tired they made me.But I know now my hormones play a big role in my fatigue. I'd talk with my dr about it and be very clear about my feelings of fatigue.Some drs tend to dismiss symptons like that but they really shouldn't.

Not sure how to handle the coworker issue.It's sad how much other people can drain our energy.As far as how much you feel you work before and after work I have to say i read your posts and wonder how you get it all done.You get a workout in before work and you spend weekedns doing so much work at home.Can you take a morning that is just for you to have tea, read the paper , whatever.And a time during the weekend that is just yours?I know this weekend I fel like if I stopped to just relax on Sat. the work would double before I got to it.It made me very cranky!!!!There really has to be a better way!

Miss P




 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: bnl7953
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 12:34pm

Boy, Susan, I feel that I could have written your post!!! I know how you feel. Even though I don't work at an office any more, when I did, I had a co-worker who was so obnoxious that eventually

       ~~Rhonda~~


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2001
In reply to: bnl7953
Mon, 03-29-2004 - 9:22pm

Susan, I feel your pain.

Nancy

"Make Choices that bring you joy"  cl-Patty


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: bnl7953
Tue, 03-30-2004 - 2:12pm

Susan..this all sounds so familiar. It is good that you wrote it all down and I hope it helped you put some things in perspective.


The fatigue...you do so much for your family and at work. Those things alone can make anyone fatigued. The stress from co workers and the stress from the house being in "clutter and chaos" add to it. Of course the BP meds are probably contributing.


Perimenopause is a big reason too. Being fatigued is one of the major complaints for most women. I know I had it really bad for a few years. (Thankfully,