Trying to rebuild my whole life

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Trying to rebuild my whole life
10
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 3:07pm

I feel like a pile of wreckage, not a human being.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2003
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 4:19pm

Ladyirish-


I tried to post to you a bit ago but the computer froze up..grrrr.


My heart goes out to you.


 








 
Avatar for thinkfirst
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 5:42pm
I have not seen Return of the King, but that's not the picture I get from reading your post.

I see that you are just waking up and feeling ready to meet who you are inside.

It's a fabulous and exciting journey.

There is so much wonderful support here on the internet.

And so much good information too.

I'm new to this community, but I'm sure its a wonderful place to write your feelings and experiences, frustrations, accomplishments, failures and successes.

Journaling is so important and so helpful when you are on a journey to rebuild your life.

Your body has been speaking to you for a long time, and ulitimately your body already knows what is good, what it needs, how to balance and return to total health. Make friends with your body. Here is a quote I read somewhere, "I had so much hate for my body that it had to grow and grow to contain it all." In your searching on the internet, search for a site on healing meditations. Heal your mind and emotions and then your body will follow effortlessly. Here is some of my favorites. http://www.johnselby.com/home.htm

http://www.learningmeditation.com/room.htm

And secondly, vigorous exercise is not helpful or beneficial for large women. So gentle and moderate exercise is the place to start. A walk down the street in the fresh air is a good beginning. Then as you feel stronger and are able to breathe freely and smoothly, then you can increase the amount you walk. Start small. And a few very gentle stretching and breathing will be so wonderful too. http://www.thewalkingsite.com/stretching.html

As you improve your eating, the teeth and body odor will improve.

But - take one day at a time. Not too many changes at once so you can feel and enjoy each new step you take.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2003
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 6:39pm
I was reading your profile since you sounded familiar.


 








 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 7:56pm
Yes, I'm Mary.

Avatar for dmm11730
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 8:37pm
Welcome Mary,

I tried to post earlier too, like Phyllis and my computer froze and shut down. Hence the reason for the later post. I am so sorry you are feeling so sad about your life and how you are feeling. It is good however that you are ready to change and make things better. This is a great place to start. We have a wonderful board with wonderful ladies who are motivated, and loving, supportive, and uplifting. Each and everyone will offer some support and idea. I think by listening to everyone's suggestion and putting them all together you will come up with what works best for you.

My first thought is to congratulate you an your Weight Watchers journey. Its not an easy one or fast but it is healthy, and safe, and long lasting. I have been on and off weight watchers for years and its the best way to learn how to eat healthy. I have trouble staying within my points but I think most do. No one said it was easy. Second I wonder if you have started any form of exercise yet? Have you spoken with your family doctor about an exercise program? You do not have to join a gym, just simple walks are great. Start out small and increase a little at a time. First shoot for a stroll down the end of the block, next week try and push yourself for a second block or even just one house further at a time. Do you have someone who can walk with you? That always helps. Its good that you are going to to dermatologist for a consultation. See what he has to offer. Your teeth I am sure are truely bothering you. The fact that you have the insurance and they want you to pay up front is crazy. I am sure if you call around you should find someone to agree to have the benifits sent to them and you pay the balance. Keep looking, someone will turn up. I would not rush into another job so quickly. Focus on some of your other issues first. You may find once these other issues are resolved or heading into the right direction the job my level off. About a guy..........well do not put yourseld into that situation yet, either. You need to work on yourself before you begin to worry about a man. No woman needs to find a man. Finding Mr. Right will happen when I believe you are happy with who you are and then things will work in the positive direction.

Hang around and post. As I said above this is a great group of ladies who have helped me so many times. Remember you are not alone in this journey. (((((hugs)))))

Deb

Debbie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 10:15pm
Hugs to you, Mary! I like your Ivillage name! I'm Irish too! LOVE Lord of the Rings movies & can't wait 'till May 25 when I can buy ROTK on dvd!!! I can't get enough of Viggo Mortensen. So who is your favorite actor in LOTR?

Mary, I can relate to the urge for a new job and new man - I feel those feelings at times because I work 2 jobs and have no significant other. I do think Phyllis is correct that a man doesn't define us & I also believe my career doesn't define me. You're Mary, a unique lady and there is no one on earth quite like you. I liked what thinkfirst wrote you and agree that you need to take special care of yourself. A support system is great, but the best support system IMHO is of spiritual nature. Ask for divine help everyday and you will receive help. Take small physical steps to get your health in a better condition. You can do it, Mary.

BTW, how is your friend, Walter? I remember you wrote us that he was very sick. I hope he is better.

I think one of the best ways to rebuild our lives is to spend time with our loved ones, friends, and help those in need. I've also heard of folks finding their next career or spouse through volunteering in their community. Just a thought. Everything will come in its time is what I tell myself.

I wish you much success with WW and please post with us regularly - ups or downs. We're here for you.

Hugs,

Kat

Katherine (Kat)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 10:51pm

Welcome back, Mary! Sounds as though things are pretty overwhelming right now, but you've made a good start by getting on the WW program and coming here. We will be here for you to offer

       ~~Rhonda~~


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 8:40am
Welcome Back, Mary.

I, too, recognized you and I'm glad you found your way back to us.

My heart aches for you, but I'm also filled with joy that you are ready to make some changes and have begun to do so. Congratulations! That's a hard first step. My suggestions echo all of the posts you have received thus far. Definitely stick with Weight Watchers and take advantage of ALL of their support...in person and online. Hang around this board, too. We all struggle here with multiple issues, although no two are alike. I love the women here. I hope you have been lurking with us for a long time and have gotten to see the love and support we have for each other here. I encourage you to seek all of the professional assistance you can, as well. I hope that you have a great doctor who is supportive and interested in YOU, the person. If not...find one who is! Be honest and open with your doctor about your struggles. I pray that your doctor will take all that you tell him or her and will help you come up with a game plan.

I would imagine there is a dentist out there that would create a payment plan for you for the dental work until the insurance pays up or to take care of whatever the insurance company doesn't cover.

Congrats on getting started. Keep up with us here. As Rhonda said, we start The Power of a Praying Woman tomorrow. Look under Roll Call for our daily posts about it. Stormie Omartian is the author...she's a wonderful author and woman.

Hugs.

Sassy

 

                        

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2000
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 9:16am
Hi Mary, and welcome back. I've wondered where you've been. While I'm sorry to hear the rut you're in - in so many ways, too - I'm glad that you've decided to post here again, and also that you've put your feelings in front of you to contend with. Determination has to come within you. You can't wish for change, do nothing and hope things will change - YOU have to be willing to start those changes... and stick with 'em. Are you willing? Nothing's going to happen overnight, nor in a week's time, though you should start seeing little changes by 2-3 weeks and a month. Will little changes encourage you to continue?

I recall that you've been longing for male company. A man won't make you feel good about what's eating you up from the inside - and it's also not really reasonable to expect that he'd be willing to share your load as it is right now. (Guys are good at lifting heavy things, but they don't make good emotional pack animals, LOL!) I echo what others have said about focusing on one thing at a time: accept yourself with the gifts you have, make gradual changes for health by starting to walk, even if it's just short distances. When you start feeling positive in those areas, then seek a job change. A changing you will make you feel more confident about job prospects, it shows in interviews, and that's more progress to feel good about! I too think you need a social setting where people accept you. We certainly accept you here, and there are online communities which are supportive, but you also need physical contact with people that being online doesn't fulfill (WW and work remind you of your battles - you need something more positive). What about finding a church that could nurture that and nurture/strengthen you spiritually? Never underestimate the support you can get through prayer, knowing that people are praying for you because *they care.* Between positive changes in your life giving your self-esteem a boost and people interaction... there's no telling who'll you meet, and what impression you might make on him :^).

I don't get the dental plan either - that the dentists want to be paid up front even though you have insurance. Losing teeth is not a cosmetic issue, but a health one. I'd check the terms of your plan, and do some more calling, and yes, investigate the dental school. Best of luck with your dermatologist's appointment.

Do stay with us Mary. We're here to support you every step of the way.












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Registered: 04-08-2004
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 8:04am

Hi Mary, and welcome back to the board!


I feel the pain in your post and I empathize with your longings.

Lori

"Remember, I'm pullin' for ya.  We're all in this together." --Red Green

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