Bab Mom, need your opinions
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Bab Mom, need your opinions
| Thu, 05-13-2004 - 11:09am |
Hey I need your opinions ladies. This is hard to explain so please bare with me. Katie does girl scouts and I have been an assistant leader now for 4 years. This past year we merged with another group making us a total of 14 girls. There are 4 adults, some weeks we are all there other times we only have 2. Anyhow, since we started we have a constant bickering going on. One table vs. another table. Both making comments about how this one can not sing, how this ones hair is funny, this one looks silly............you get the idea. Its been going on since day one. Most weeks I dread going because its not fun, they are always doing this. We have spoken up a few times for it only to occur again and again. Now another issue is respect. Respect to others, respect to the adults, and respect to our flag and girl scout promise/pledge. There is none. When we say the pledge each week we always have to start over or correct the way one is standing or someone is doing something wrong, like sitting her butt on a desk instead of standing. Now I know they are only 10 going on 11 but they should know better. I feel like all I do is yell at my dd and correct her while the others continue to get away with it. The leaders dd is one of the worse as far as disrespect. Well last night she was not there but her dd was. The meeting was horrible, nitpicking at each other, calling things back and forth, and the straw that broke the camels back one of the girls began to write on the chalk board, a major no-no and the girls know this. She startes to write, I Hate........and we told her to erase it, and told her not to write on the board. We then went on to say that HATE was not a nice word and something we should all be working on together to not have around here when the leaders dd looks at me and says well I like the word hate. I tell her it's not nice and it hurts people. Well she looks right back at me, very fresh I will say and says well I still like it. I should have zipped my mouth there but I said that does not make you a nice person if you like to hate, to which she sarcasticly tells me she is a mean person and is proud of it. Then the girls start in again with their going back and forth and their nasty comments. I lost me temper and gathered them all around and yelled. Yes, yelled that I was sick of this behavior constantly going on and this was not the reason we were gathered together. I then went on to tell the girls if they have nothing nice to say to someone else then they should not say anything at all. You get the gist of the night. I did however look at the leaders dd and speak to her directly at one point and I have been told that I called her a rotten kid. I know...........I really do not remember calling her that but maybe I did. Heck the mother sure and sh*t never says anything to her. Well I spoke to the girls parents, who were there and filled them in. I was not proud of yelling at them and I apoligized but most understood and said sometimes they needed to be yelled at. Not the leader she is mad at me and said while she understand why I got mad I should not have yelled and I should never have said those things to her child. We obviously have different ways of raising our children and she is mad at me. She told me it might be a good idea if I took a break. So I said fine, I quit. Katie will not be going back either. I am not allowing my child to attend this kind of meeting where they continue to be mean and nasty. Mind you she does it too, and she is yelled at and punished. So I will not pretend she is innocent here. But if I found out she was disrespectful, especially more then once, I would have hoped the adult would have set her straight. I tryed to explain that our meetings should be fun and enjoyable. They should be coming together as a group to learn and grow from and with each other, not attack each other constintly. So now what do I do..............
Deb

What an ordeal!
Lori
"Remember, I'm pullin' for ya. We're all in this together." --Red Green
cl for Ask the
it sounds like it's been a really hard situation to deal with - and i know how easy it is to lose your head in something like that. it may be best to just find another troop for your girl - one where basic concepts like 'respect' are actually demonstrated...
Firstly, I recall going to brownies and guides (same thing as Girl Scouts) and in our troops, discipline was huge. If you didn't tow the mark, you were asked to leave. The threat of being expelled was usually enought to wake everyone up. But, we also had alot of fun and learned a lot of stuff!!
It sounds to me like the leader of your group doesn't have alot of control over what happens. Sounds to me like her dd is running the show and the cause of much of the broohaha. I think that is incredibly rude for an eleven year old to speak to you in that manner and disregard what you've asked her to do. Yelling and name calling may not have been the best solution, but I can certainly understand your frustration.
Why did the two groups merge? Who decided that this lady should be the leader when you merged? I take it this girl was not part of your original group? Is there any possiblity of going back to the original groups? If not, I'd have to say find another activity that you and Katie can do together. If you aren't having fun, there is no point in being part of that group, and what is your daughter going to take home from it, other than how *not* to behave! You're right. Some people just don't have the same values when it comes to raising kids!
Sending a big hug your way. You are a good mom and I think you did the right thing pulling Katie out of there.
Shar
Miss P
Wow...do I ever feel for you.
Deb
Debbie
You done good - don't worry about. You and Katie will find another activity to do together.
Donna
I've been in numerous troops, my mom has been a leader. There are good troops and good leaders, bad troops and bad leaders. I wholly agree that such disrespect should not be tolerated, and were I the troop leader I would talk to the parents, and if things didn't shape up, the girl would not be allowed to return. With the problem child being the leader's child, you know that's not going to happen. While yelling often doesn't accomplish the right thing, you are right in removing yourself and Katie from the troop. Find another troop - that's what my mom did for me in a dysfunctional troop one time. The troop I was in didn't teach us anything, it was more like an after school care program. When mom became an assistant leader, she saw what a troop could be and moved me to hers.
Cussette
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