Thanks..........

Avatar for dmm11730
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Thanks..........
8
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 3:30pm
I wanted you to know you guys have made me feel alot better about what actually happened last night and this morning. Mostly everyone agrees I was in the right to get angry, and to pull Katie and myself out of the group. How I handled me self was something else to be desired and for that I am ashamed. Someone suggested that I apoligize to the girls for my outburst but since I will not be attending the meetings anymore I thought maybe I could send each of them a note. I am not that good with my words and I would like you guys to read this and tell me if its alright. Thanks again for your help.

Deb

Dear Girls:

I am writing this to you to apologize for yelling at our meeting this past Wednesday. I have been with you since September and at every meeting or function I see you divided and arguing. You tease each other, are fresh and often disrespectful, to each other as well as the leaders and Wednesday night it got the best of me. I did the wrong thing by yelling the way I did and for that I apologize. Scouting to me, was supposed to be a fun and enjoyable event for all involved, including the leaders. We should have gotten together as a group and talked these things out instead I reacted in a negative manner, without thinking. My actions should be used as an example of how not to treat each other.

I have often viewed my years as a Girl Scout as fond memories and that is all I really wanted for you girls. However week after week we would continue to have the same problems and I felt that as Girl Scouts we should be better than that. I believed that as scouts we were coming together to work as friends and sisters for a better future for all of us because we want to be together not because we have to be together.

At this time I wanted you to know I will not be returning as a co-leader. I wish each and everyone of you the best life has to offer. I hope you continue with scouting and get all you can out of its daily lessons along with the words you recite at each of your meetings.

Fondly,

Miss Debbie

Debbie

Avatar for dmm11730
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
In reply to: dmm11730
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 3:56pm
Now I feel like a real sh*t.........Katie just got home and she is upset. First she was upset because the "girls" made fun of her and called me a retard and a witch. Poor kid! And then when I told her I quit she got upset because some of her friends are still in the group. I explained that she was still welcome to participate if she choose to but without me. When I told her that Mallory's mom suggested that I leave Katie then said fine, we both quit. I am a mess here guys and right now I would take back what I said just to not have to put Katie through this. I apoligized to her and she said she was sorry because she was part of the teasing too and that they deserved it. The funny part is the only girls who angry at her were the oned who are causing all the problems. Go figure.

Deb

Debbie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2003
In reply to: dmm11730
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 4:27pm
You're a bigger person than me.


 








 
Avatar for imthebigsister
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: dmm11730
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 4:34pm
"The ones who teased her are the ones causing all the problems."

Imagine that! I'm not surprised they picked on Katie today. They're little brats, "Mean Girls" in training who are getting all the wrong messages from home. I was a little confused by what Katie's feeling. It sounds like she's upset about being the butt of the jokes, but also like she understands why you did what you did by pulling her out of the troop and quitting.

With regard to the note - I'd talk with Katie when she's calmer and find out what she thinks about your plan to send it to each of the girls. She might want you to or she might be heatedly against it, fearing that it will cause her more grief. Your first responsibility is to Katie - I think if she sees you treating her like she's mature, she might surprise you.

For what it's worth, is there a regional scout council you can alert to the goings-on? If this is as out of hand as it seems, I would think they'd be concerned. Maybe someone there can come and have a sit-down with the girls and the leaders. Maybe threaten to disband the troop if things don't improve, or expel the girls who are the trouble-makers.

Just a thought.

You've got a tough job, Deb! All you moms do....

Donna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: dmm11730
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 5:39pm
Good luck with Katie, but I really feel that you did the right thing! I totally understand how you felt & how you had had your fill of that misbehavior and disrespect.
Katherine (Kat)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2001
In reply to: dmm11730
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 7:04pm
Deb,

Really sorry to hear about this whole Girl Scout experience. Both my girls were in scouting and I know that their leader would never have put up with that kind of behavior from her scouts. Although your words may have come across a little louder than you would have liked (as I'm sure mine would have too) I think you did the right thing by speaking up. I have no use for parents who don't teach their children respect towards one another and adults. That is the first thing my daughter presents in her classroom no matter what grade she teaches that the children are to respect each other and respect will be shown to her. It just seems to be the norm these days for parents coming up with excuses for their childrens' behavior and always blaming someone or something else. I think your letter is well written and is a good example for the girls that sometimes our anger gets the best of us and we say things in the wrong way. I know I've done that with my own children when they've gotten the best of me and even though I've been justified in what I was trying to say but presented myself the wrong way. I'm sorry that Katie was teased and made fun of but I think she knows what how these girls act is definitely not the right way.

Susan

Avatar for dmm11730
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
In reply to: dmm11730
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 7:05pm
Forget the note. Bill said to me although my intentions are good by sending this letter someone may say I was abusive to the girls especially Mallory. Her parents already have law suits going against the school for stuff, and what some would consider law suit happy. He is right, no need to open myself up to anymore trouble. Best to just let it go and see what happens. I wrote down what this Mallory and the other girls said to Katie, if it continues than I will have to recall Carol and tell he she needs to speak with her kids. Because that is down right wrong. I told Katie my intentions about sending the note and she told me it was not necessary because they deserved it, her included. So maybe enough is enough. Thanks again for letting me lean on your shoulders, ladies!

Deb

Debbie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: dmm11730
Thu, 05-13-2004 - 8:58pm

I'm just reading the posts on this, so am contributing my 2 cents late. I have to agree with what everyone has said and particularly with what Donna said in response to your first post. That "mean" girl doesn't have a prayer of turning out very well with a mother who lets her control the relationship and does nothing to guide her the way a mother should. The child sounds as though she has emotional problems, or maybe she's just trying her best to get someone to show they care enough about her to set some boundaries for her.


You and Katie are so much better off being away from that group. Life is just too short to subject yourself to that cr*p, especially when you can replace it with a constructive and fun activity you'll actually look forward to. I'm glad you didn't send the letter. They don't deserve

       ~~Rhonda~~


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
In reply to: dmm11730
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 7:42am

That sounds like a plan.

Lori

"Remember, I'm pullin' for ya.  We're all in this together." --Red Green

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