Marriage Humor.....

Avatar for imthebigsister
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Marriage Humor.....
5
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 8:34am
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE

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Commandment 1.

Marriages are made in heaven. But then again, so are thunder and lightning.

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Commandment 2.

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

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Commandment 3.

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

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Commandment 4.

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man

speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

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Commandment 5.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

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Commandment 6.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide

which one.

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Commandment 7.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

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Commandment 8.

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

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Commandment 9.

Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.

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Commandment 10.

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished..

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Bonus Commandment story:

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A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled and said, "Wow! This really works!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 12:30pm
LOL!

Rhonda


Time invested in improving ourselves cuts down on time disapproving of others.

       ~~Rhonda~~


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2001
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 1:01pm
LOL LOve these!Especially love #5. I always tease DH that one good thing about hurting my finger was that he FINALLY opened the car door for me.

Miss P




 

Avatar for imthebigsister
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 1:10pm
Well, Princess, if THAT'S all it took.....

After yesterday, I thought you were going to say you liked the bonus joke best..

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2001
Wed, 05-19-2004 - 1:15pm
That was a joke???Darn , I thought it was a true story!!!I had already started building the wishing well!!!!

Miss P




 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 7:54am
thanks for the giggle!