Fustration and confusion

Avatar for dmm11730
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Registered: 04-06-2003
Fustration and confusion
15
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 5:45pm
Hey there, these last few days have been a little bit odd. Which would you rather hear about first my confusion or fustration? The confusion is of coarse about the job. I thought about it all weekend and decided to speak with Tom first before I made my mind up. So yesterday around 4:30 once everyone was out of the office I told Tom I had a question. Basicly asked him if he has any thoughts of wanting to keep me on around there once my job with Steve ends next week. He goes, well yes I do. So we lead into asking what I am most interested in and I tell him part-time work for another couple of years, how I really do not want to be in the office everyday and would rather do 3 to 4 days a week, how I want to be home when Katie gets off the bus. His response was that it should be fine and do-able. He is going to move the file cabinets into the other back room and put in a forth desk and I could share it with Nina, who comes in 3 afternoons a week. He will speak with the other ladies and figure out what they need help with the most and that will become my job/responsibilities. We did not discuss salary and I told him we could discuss it in more depth over the next week before I leave for vacation to TN. He was fine with this. In my heart I want to stay where I am, I know I an not adventurous. I enjoy working with these ladies so much and Tom is pretty good, once you get to know him. My confusion is of coarse is the money and am I letting something good pass me by. But time will tell.

The fustration part is my family. My best friends from Florida are here. Maria's dad passed away on Saturday and her and her hubby are up. Our other friend came in and is staying with me. I feel my family is making me feel guilty for wanting to be with them, when I know Maria needs me to be there. If I get too into details I will start crying and that is not good. I need to fix dinner for them and get redressed so that I can go back to the funeral palor tonight at 7.

So that is my life for the moment.

Deb

Debbie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2001
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 5:52pm
The job thing will work out. Money is not always the most important factor.Good hours and being happy where you are are big factors too.

So sorry for your friends loss.Yes, our families have a tendency to forget they aren't they only ones who need us sometimes.They also have a tendency to forget we need our time too.

Miss P




 

Avatar for dmm11730
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 6:01pm
Patty thanks for saying that and understanding. My MIL had the nerve to say to me that "well you went last night, and you are going back tomorrow. Whats the big deal that you did not get to stay this afternoon" Grrrrrr I just looked at her and said I know I do not have to be there but I want to be there because my best friend of 31 years is hurting. And I just hope and pray that when I need that friendship both of my friends will be there for me. Hubby seems to put work ahead of my needs often...and sometimes it really bothers me, yet he does not see it. Fustratiing!!!

Deb

Debbie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 6:03pm

I agree with Patty that being happy is very important. I say that because I know how miserable I became when I stayed somewhere I wasn't happy. I don't know how much help this is, but I think you have good instincts and suggest following them.


Hugs,

Rhonda


Time invested in improving ourselves cuts down on time disapproving of others.

       ~~Rhonda~~


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2001
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 8:33pm
Deb,

I can certainly understand your frustration and confusion. A number of years ago I was becoming a bit disgruntled with my job and thinking that maybe it was time to make a change. Out of the blue came a job offer at a community college in the nursing department office. It was totally different from what I had been doing and prospect seemed great. The job fell through until several months later when the job offer came up again. Again the prospect seemed like a good one and I began to think that even though the distance from home was greater and the pay was less but the benefits were better I really thought it was time. Well I needed to take and pass a Civil Service test before the job could become mine. I had to travel to Long Island City to take the test and I left super early to get there and get parking. Needless to say traffic was terrible and with minutes to spare there was nowhere to park. I at that point knew where I needed to be, turned the car around and came home. I've grown into new job responsibilites, gone from part time to full time and have a great relationship with my bosses. Go with your instincts. Extra money is nice but you need to be happy and comfortable with your coworkers and the job.

As far as your family is concerned. You know where you need to be and your family needs to understand that. Your friend needs your love and support right now and your family can fend for themselves while you do what you need to do. They'll get over it!

Good luck with your decision and your family.

Hugs,

Susan

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 12:12am
No answers for you, just virtual hugs and letting you know, I'm sure you'll do what's best for you and your family.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 7:49am

Hey Deb:


What a tough spot to be in.

Lori

"Remember, I'm pullin' for ya.  We're all in this together." --Red Green

cl for Ask the

Avatar for dmm11730
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 8:03am
Thanks Rhonda, I think I do have good instincts. I did pretty good up to this point. I need to consider myself more often and trust myself. Point well taken.

Deb

Debbie

Avatar for dmm11730
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 8:07am
Siusan another person telling me to follow her insticts. This must be a sign....lol. But you are right, I need to follow my gutt feelings here because I need to be happy there. I already know from my 2 days at Brian's office what its like to be unhappy. My family will adjust about my friends situation. Funny its Bill and Katie who are having the trouble. But I am sure this to shall pass. Thanks again,

Deb

Debbie

Avatar for dmm11730
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Registered: 04-06-2003
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 8:08am
Thanks for the hugs, sending some your way for a safe travel.

Deb

Debbie

Avatar for dmm11730
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Registered: 04-06-2003
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 8:18am
Your are right Lori, I am not selfish.....I always have put them first. They do not handle change very well. These last few days were what I needed to do, despite them not agreeing. I am sure MIL is not happy with me, because I spoke my mind yesterday. She too shall get over it. She needs to mind her P's & Q's more often. I love her and appreciate all she does for me but sometimes she forgets. Within the next week life will resume a normal pace and then all will be forgoten by them. Thanks for your kind words.

Deb

Debbie

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