Fustration and confusion

Avatar for dmm11730
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Fustration and confusion
15
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 5:45pm
Hey there, these last few days have been a little bit odd. Which would you rather hear about first my confusion or fustration? The confusion is of coarse about the job. I thought about it all weekend and decided to speak with Tom first before I made my mind up. So yesterday around 4:30 once everyone was out of the office I told Tom I had a question. Basicly asked him if he has any thoughts of wanting to keep me on around there once my job with Steve ends next week. He goes, well yes I do. So we lead into asking what I am most interested in and I tell him part-time work for another couple of years, how I really do not want to be in the office everyday and would rather do 3 to 4 days a week, how I want to be home when Katie gets off the bus. His response was that it should be fine and do-able. He is going to move the file cabinets into the other back room and put in a forth desk and I could share it with Nina, who comes in 3 afternoons a week. He will speak with the other ladies and figure out what they need help with the most and that will become my job/responsibilities. We did not discuss salary and I told him we could discuss it in more depth over the next week before I leave for vacation to TN. He was fine with this. In my heart I want to stay where I am, I know I an not adventurous. I enjoy working with these ladies so much and Tom is pretty good, once you get to know him. My confusion is of coarse is the money and am I letting something good pass me by. But time will tell.

The fustration part is my family. My best friends from Florida are here. Maria's dad passed away on Saturday and her and her hubby are up. Our other friend came in and is staying with me. I feel my family is making me feel guilty for wanting to be with them, when I know Maria needs me to be there. If I get too into details I will start crying and that is not good. I need to fix dinner for them and get redressed so that I can go back to the funeral palor tonight at 7.

So that is my life for the moment.

Deb

Debbie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2001
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 9:35am
Frustration, confusion, uncertainty...that is what life is usually about, isn't it?
Nancy

"Make Choices that bring you joy"  cl-Patty


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2000
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 8:56am
There's a few things that concerns me about continuing on with Tom. (1) YOU had to approach HIM. This has been coming for weeks, and he didn't make an effort on his own? Maybe I'm wrong to think this way, but that would be a sign to me that I'm not really needed, but that he'll "fit me in". Are you going to have to bug him for your annual reviews too? (2) He doesn't have anything specific in mind for you. I think it's okay that he's going to consult with the other workers in the office, but is that going to be the norm? Are you duties going to get changed regularly because you'll be the plug for the dam? To me he sounds unfocused on employee issues.

I fully understand money isn't everything. I've got my own experiences for that and believe it to be true. But I also have an experience of going into a job where the job description and expections weren't clear (along with at least 2 other employees), and we were all doing a lot of dam plugging. I'd be cautious in staying with a "familiar" job that, right now, you have to force employment discussion with the man in charge of hiring, and you can't tell what your duties will be. No one can make up your mind for you, but I'm seeing a side that hasn't been brought up yet.

As for your family, tend to your friend. You're always there for your family and will continue to be, and it's not like you're abandoning them entirely. Just say over and over again "Maria needs a friend, and while she's here, I'm going to provide that for her."












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Avatar for dmm11730
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Registered: 04-06-2003
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 12:14pm
Thanks, you bring up some very good points about the job and office. Tom is laid back and yet he knows what is going on around him. He knows the other ladies are over worked and need help. It seems that the escrow is in need of help and that is what I would be doing. There is Marie who does the starting of the contracts, orders termite inspections, and so on. Then it bouces to Janice who handles the title searches, and banking matters, and arranges the closing. Then after the closing they drop the ball and things fall between the cracks. This seems to be where they wish to use me. The follow up on pending CO's, Title policies that need to be sent to the clients, money owed to the clients that was left in the escrow account for one reason or another. I do believe I will be handling all that and it would be my responsibilities. Inge is our lady from Equidor, who handles the spanish speaking clients and she does their files from start to finish. The 4th lady who comes in Part time in the afternoon, tends to type lots of Tom's personal stuff for the Rotary club, and Chamber of Commerce. They are going to set up the 4 desk for Nina and I to share, me mornings and her afternoons. But what you said about how I needed to approach him and not the other way around is something that does bother me, but knowing him now it does not surprise me. I thanks you for your concern and bringing this up. I have thought about it too.

The friend issues is very important and dear to me. I guess as I have gotten older I value friendships more and more. These two gals mean the world to me and unfortunatly with them in Florida we see little of each other. Heck I went for 18 years without talking to Maria because we grew apart. Yet 5 years ago when our 20th reunion was approaching I knew I needed to reach out. It was the best thing I ever did and I am proud we were able to pick up after all those years. Maria just put her hubby on a plane this morning bound for Florida and she is going to stay the next week or two to help her mom out. We all went to breakfast and then came home to my house to chat for a while. Maria with her mom just left and they are taking Helen back to the airport for her return to Florida for her hubby and 4 daughters. Katie is going to the pediatrician at 2 for a check up, so they offered to take her. We made a date for tomorrow after work. Maria and her mom are coming to watch Katie ride the horse, and then we are going to go to dinner at the diner. Its a "date"! Like you said she needs me and I want to be here as much as I can. My family will survive and things will settle down into our normal routine.

Thanks again!

Deb

Debbie

Avatar for dmm11730
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 12:52pm
I typed out this great thanks and its not here. I really do not like when that happens. I wanted to say thanks for the concerns. My sister expressed similar concerns about me having to bring it up rather then him. I wish I knew why, he is on over load. He is busy with closings, Steve leaving, going to his beach house and so on. But for as busy as he is, he know whats going on in the office and he knows these ladies need help. This office is 99% Real Estate. Inge does all the Spanish clients from start to finish. Maria starts the files, Janice finishes them. After they close some are left in escrow and they do not have someone to handle just Escrow and that is where I will fit in. Working part time, just a few hours a day I should be able to handle, fix and organize the escrow accounts. Many of these jobs relating to the escrow often get pushes aside until a client calls asking for something specific. Once Steve is gone and his desk, file cabinets and computer are out Tom is going to put a forth desk in the office for myself to share with Nina the afternoon lady who works part time. My gutt feeling is it will work, the hours are flexible and he works with you when you need something. Not saying the other attorney won't but the smoking in the office and the smell of smoke once the other lady leaves bothers me. And I get nervous with new situations. I know I need to get tougher.

About my friend Maria, you are 100% correct. She needs me now so I will be there for her. I did say something to my family and they have stopped giving me a hard time. She is staying for about another week to help her mom out. Maria's hubby went home early this morning and after dropping him at the airport Maria and her mom came over and we went to breakfast. We returned to my home and chatted a while and then they offered to take Helen back to the airport for me. Helen has a 1:40 flight back to Tampa. Maria, and her mom are meeting Katie and I tomorrow at the riding school to watch Katie ride and then following us back here for dinner. I know she appreciates this, I can see it in her face. I know I am doing the right thing and for now that is all that matters.

Thanks for your support!

Deb

Debbie

Avatar for dmm11730
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2003
Thu, 07-01-2004 - 12:54pm
OK, LOL now we have two responses. It took a while for the first one to appear!

Deb

Debbie

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