Sensitive Subject-Wife's Weight Gain

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2007
Sensitive Subject-Wife's Weight Gain
10
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 12:04pm
As a husband how do I tell my wife it is time to lose weight and be sensitive and without reprecussions? I am not talking about 5-10lbs. I am talking about 40-50! Obviously this has gone on too long, I just not have not known how to broach the subject. In the past she has always recognized when her weight starts to creep up but now for whatever she is ignoring it. This has always been a touchy subject. Bear in mind this is not after a pregnancy or any other life changing event. Food intake has increased obviously and so has the sweettooth. I am not shallow but I try to stay in shape and it is very frustrating for me. Please help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2001
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 3:58pm

Why do you feel the need to tell her it is time to lose weight? I feel certain that if she has gained 40-50 pounds she is very aware of it. No one

Miss P




 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2007
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 5:09pm
I suppose I did not use my words correctly; I guess I should have simply asked how do I broach the subject of her losing weight, not that I am putting my foot down and say, "It's time to lose weight damn it!" I did not bring up health reasons as a factor here even though it is foremost, because if I did have this conversation with her, she would say I am using health as a bogus reason and it is all about appearances. I just came here trying to get a woman's perspective and be sensitive in my approach.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2005
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 5:15pm

Patty, you took the words right out of my mouth.

Donna

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2005
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 5:19pm

Just read your response to Patty.

Donna

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2001
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 5:22pm

Honestly, I'm

Miss P




 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 6:41pm

Hi, Ralphie, and welcome to the board! Patty and Donna have summed up things from a woman's point of view very well. I must agree that losing weight after 40 is very hard due to hormone changes and dying metabolisms. Weight also shifts to the mid-section. I do give you a lot of credit for coming to the board and seeking a way to discuss the issue with her in a caring, sensitive way. That's a great starting point.


Does your wife work? Is she a stay-at-home mom? What types of activities does she like? I also think that if you could come up with activities you can do together that

       ~~Rhonda~~


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2007
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 8:30pm

To everyone

Thank you for your responses and help. I admit I have read many of the things you suggest but did not think they would work, but hearing from a peer group makes a difference. In this instance I am probably not giving my wife the credit she deserves and should offer up these opportunities to help. I feel I do my share to help around the house but I guess one can never do too much there. Some of the things you suggest not only may motivate but by freeing her up may relieve a possible underlying factor: stress. I may eventually direct her to this board because in reading some threads you make a lot of sense, but my first steps will be to try other ways of living better. So thanks again Ladies!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 10:31pm

I commend you for your sensitivity toward your wife's situation. It's true that stress can be a factor in weight gain. The cortisol it generates makes weight grab onto the mid-section. Lack of sleep can also contribute. Does she have trouble sleeping? If she has night sweats or other hormone-related issues, her dr. should be able to help with those.


Best of luck! Don't be a stranger. I hope your wife will decide to join us. We're here for her.




       ~~Rhonda~~


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Avatar for bootywhompus
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 7:25am
Well said everyone.

Lori

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 6:03pm
Welcome Ralphieboy to our board. I must admit that when I first read your post I took the defensive side and said what is this guy crazy coming here, lol. But I do understand your concerns for her health and vanity because they play a huge roll for us too. As the other ladies have already posted to you "we" as a whole have much more going on then many guys give us credit for. We are not familiar with your wife's or your home situation. The word stress was mentioned more then once and it does play a big part in the equation. Let me say that if I had

cl-Deb