Frustrated and Angry
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| Wed, 01-23-2008 - 7:26am |
Meltdown going on in the house last night which sadly reminded me of a 2 year old temper tantrum except there was no 2 year old just a 59 going on 60 year old "H". Sadly it was about hangers. I won't even get into the details but we'll say the ranting, raving and shouting was ridiculous beyond belief. I'm usually quiet during these outbursts but I was so annoyed with this behavior I more or less told him he was out of control and he should listen to himself and I was told that I hurt his feelings. How about my feelings having to listen to this? I sensed this was coming and was par for the course pre medication. Just waiting for that other shoe to drop and it sure did drop last night. Unfortunately I didn't have much patience for my kids during temper tantrums and sure had little or none last night with a 59 year old temper tantrum. Now I'm left feeling very angry and he's acting like nothing happened. On top of the outburst we got another letter in the mail that neither medical or pension benefits have been paid by H's employer into the fund so once again as of February 1 we're without medical benefits if the funds aren't paid. Yes, I'm feeling a bit stressed at the moment. If any of you have any ideas how to release my frustration without burying him I would appreciate it. Talking to him is useless because everything goes back to hunky dory and according to him while banging his fists and shouting he has a right to be mad. It's a good thing the "it's my house" thing didn't come out. I was also told that the best is yet to come. When I asked what that was supposed to mean I was told that we would all have to wait and see.
There's no sense of discussing the medication. He's not seeing this different personality at all. He had a long talk with friends of ours that told him more or less that he went about going off the medication the wrong way and of course there was no discussion with me.They suggested if that's what he decided then he needed to find another route before his anger and such returned to the way it was. Well, we see that went in one ear and out the other.
Beneath it all lies a good man. It's just seems to be buried under a very angry person who doesn't know how to deal with it all.
Thanks for listening. There are truly days when I begin to question how much of my sanity can still remain.
Susan
Edited 1/23/2008 7:29 am ET by bnl7953

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