Men just don't get it!!!
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Men just don't get it!!!
| Thu, 05-06-2004 - 11:53am |
OK, am I unreasonable to be SOOOOO mad that I tried my darndest to make sure we didn't touch even an INCH last night while we were sleeping?? The story is, my BF and I have a VERY active sex life. He's in his glory cuz he used to have to BEG his ex-wife for anything. So, he's got this new thing now where he braggs to his friends about having to TURN ME DOWN cuz I want sex too much.. and he does it in front of me with the guys there... I get SOOOO offended and have told him several times that he makes me feel like it's a chore for him to have sex with me, and that night he had the nerve to tell me he think he's putting me up on a pedastool cuz he's letting everyone know ~I'm~ not satisfied?? I said, "NO, the guys think you are an idiot for not getting sex every chance you can get.. they'd be glad to be in your shoes. They are in your old shoes where they have to beg for it..." ANyway, he just DOESN"T get it.. and when he talks like that in front of the guys ...SAid last night "OH.. and when we get home, I am going to bed.. we are NOT having sex.. just so you know..." then he turns to the guys and says "What I rough life I have.. I get to turn the woman down for sex.." then turns to me laughing like I should be laughing with him.. instead, I am giving him the look and said "go ahead... make it colder at home...". I was SOOOOO flippen mad and still am. Why does this make me soooooo mad??? I should just blow if off and say "Oh, he's just joking" but I can't. If he thinks he's getting anything from me in days.. he can FORGET IT.... Do I have a right to be offended? Is that a "guy just being a guy?" do I need to lighten up??
AAARRRRgrgrgrgrgrgr!!!
Thanks for listening!!
~Pam

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Sorry you are so frustrated. Could be worse, you could be single like me and not getting laid at all.
Aw, Pam...honey, I can see why you're so mad!
I have talked to him about it. That's when he told me he felt he was "putting me up on a pedastool by letting everyone know he couldn't keep up with me and keep me satisfied..." And that's when I told him that the guys look at him like he's an idiot (and they really do.. some have even said "are you nuts, man??") and that's when I told him when he talks like that, he makes me feel like it's a chore for him to have sex with me and that he's making a mockery of our sexlife... I see that helped a lot.
I just went on a walk.. a great walk.. MAN.. I can walk the socks off anyone when I am mad. But that's just it, I am still madder than he**... I totally feel disrespected but when I tell him something he says/did upsets me, he always tells me that I am getting "too mental" about things and blowing them way out of proprotion and that I should lighten up... after all, he's "just joking around.." He completely invalidates my feelings. And I know, if this is all I have to worry about (until the next problem arises..) I should just lighten up and be thankful for what I've got.... but I am having such a hard time controlling this anger... I don't even want to go home. And I promised him I'd go to his softball game with him..(after all, I am his biggest fan..*sigh*)
Actions speak louder than words. So, my two cents is as follows. The next time he says that, and he will. Just say calmly and sweetly, "don't worry honey, you won't EVER have to turn me down ever again". and leave it
I'm still so angry at this. I am welling up in tears right now. I think I've discovered why I am so angry... because I've done nothing but try to make myself more desireable (mostly for myself.. I'd never "diet" for someone else) but he's done nothing lately but make me feel less desireable. I feel like I am doing this hard work for nothing. One thing I didn't mention that he said the other day while we were out with friends..his buddy came over. He was out by himself that night. BF says "Are you flying solo tonight?" he says "yeah.. besides, you've got all the pretty girls over here anyway" (BF had his arm around me) and he says (inregards to me) Yeah, but I had to pay $50 for her to stand here with me (then points to our other friend who's MUCH more attractive than me) and says "BUT LOOK AT HER.. I HAD TO PAY $100 for HER..." I just looked him square in the eye and said "That's real F'in nice of you to say that in front of me..." Then he tries to make up and tell me I should know he'd always pick me over her... WHATEVER... I just get sick of him making me the butt of his jokes in public.. but don't worry.. I have a plan to get him... next time he says something about getting to turn me down, I am going to PROUDLY say (and it HAS happened) "OH HONEY.. I always thought you turned me down cuz were so afraid you couldn't get it up like the last 3 times..." Uh huh.. that should shut him up.. and then when he's mad at me for divulging that info.. I'll simply tell him "I asked you once before to NOT make a mockery of out sex life. You couldn't handle that and respect my wishes and take my feelings into consideration... then why should I worry about you..." He couldn't say a DARN thing about that... *sigh*.. it's sad that I even have a reason to feel angry like this. It should have never happened a second time. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on ME!
Thanks so much everyone... you all are sooo great... I feel much better today. We were out with "the guys" again last night and he didn't say anything rude... That's a good thing.
Best of luck
Robyn
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