My dh doesn't want me to lose weight for insecurity reasons. It makes him teeter-totter between (borrowing a term here) "food devil" and supportive. He thinks that if I lose the weight, I will find someone else. I won't.
For me, I would say that DBF accepts me completly as I am, but he won't say NOT to lose 40lbs. lol. Please all his x's were anerexic. not really, but you know the type. So, he's supportive in the sense that he's saying things like, "your butt looks rounder....nice" or "going to miss the girls" lol. But food wise, he's no help. He's got a HUGE sweet tooth, worse than mine which I NEVER thougth was possible, and he eats just as much junk food as I do. So that part doesn't help.
But, overall, I think he's supportive. He wants me to lose it so *I* can feel better about myself. He won't complain, as I know he'd like it, besides, I promised him I'd pierce my naval when I get down to my goal, and he LOVES that, so, of course he's rooting me on. lol.
Sorry Chet doesn't want you to lose it, but I think if you feel good about it, who cares what they think and if they're that insecure to think you're going to leave them, maybe they'll get into shape too. lol.
Steph- sorry to hear that Chet said this to you, but in all honesty do you really think that he wouldn't support or be proud of you for a 15lb loss? Or any loss? From what you've said about him he seems like a down-to-eart, realistic sound guy...
I know when I was in the *dating* scene ex was very supportive of me, but also indicated he liked how I was...what's that supposed to mean dear?? LOL!
It's interesting how men view 'their women' trying to lose weight/get in shape....do they REALLY feel that threatened??
I lost 60 pounds 5 years ago after being at 210 I got down to 145. I was that weight when we married and then gained weight for 5 years and was a total frump. well when I lost the weight my husband became overly attentive and also somewhat jealous. It was weird i guess he was not worried when I was heavy. It was a nice feeling to be appreciated. I had my nd child and gained weight again and that where I'm at now. He wants me to lose weight but I don't know if he willr eact the same way or not. I'm currently at 170( was at 184) so its not as big jump as the last time but I do want to get back down. i figure its time lol its been five years since the 2nd child same as the first time I guess after 5 years i decided to get my butt in gear. Weird how its been the same both times.
First of all, don't make your "diet" about weight loss..(as far as he knows anyway..) Make it about "Eating healthier and living healthier" and if you ~just happen to lose 15 lbs in the meantime~ Ooooops!!! lol. Trufully, how could he not want the woman he loves to be healthier. Even if that means giving up a little of the pooch..lol. MY DBF says I can "Lose every where BUT the BOOTY!!" He LOVES my big ol' butt!!
My DBF loves me the way I am.. and he loves me when I binge a little... and he loves me when I lose a little. TOld me the other day "D*mn, girl... you've got the cuttest butt in the world!!" So I walked off with a little more wiggle in my walk than usual...*grin*
I can honestly say that I am losing for me. MY self esteem, MY health, MY benefit but he makes sure he encourages me by saying things like "I have to give you credit, you've stuck to it!" or "Wow, honey, I can really tell you've lost a lot of weight since we met!" or "Don't think those jeans looked as good on you before!!" Those comments make me feel good about myself and show me that my hard work is paying off...
Thanks, Steff!! I needed this today, actually!! I wasn't feeling down or anything, but today I was thinking "Man.. seems like I've been doing this forever.. kinda getting tired of it.." but this might have just supercharged me for another couple weeks!! THANKS!!
My BF wants me to be happy. Loves me whatever size I am etc. BUT his last long term relationship was with a big girl. So I think he liks them fluffy.
I think a lot of men are insecure about their mates loosing weight. My bf thinks if I get skinny I will start dressing sexy & leave him. That won't happen but he dosen't always belive me.
But I want to loose weight for myself so I am healty & active. Being thiner is an added bonus.
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For me, I would say that DBF accepts me completly as I am, but he won't say NOT to lose 40lbs. lol. Please all his x's were anerexic. not really, but you know the type. So, he's supportive in the sense that he's saying things like, "your butt looks rounder....nice" or "going to miss the girls" lol. But food wise, he's no help. He's got a HUGE sweet tooth, worse than mine which I NEVER thougth was possible, and he eats just as much junk food as I do. So that part doesn't help.
But, overall, I think he's supportive. He wants me to lose it so *I* can feel better about myself. He won't complain, as I know he'd like it, besides, I promised him I'd pierce my naval when I get down to my goal, and he LOVES that, so, of course he's rooting me on. lol.
Sorry Chet doesn't want you to lose it, but I think if you feel good about it, who cares what they think and if they're that insecure to think you're going to leave them, maybe they'll get into shape too. lol.
Steph- sorry to hear that Chet said this to you, but in all honesty do you really think that he wouldn't support or be proud of you for a 15lb loss? Or any loss? From what you've said about him he seems like a down-to-eart, realistic sound guy...
I know when I was in the *dating* scene ex was very supportive of me, but also indicated he liked how I was...what's that supposed to mean dear?? LOL!
It's interesting how men view 'their women' trying to lose weight/get in shape....do they REALLY feel that threatened??
Men are weird, lol!
cl-vi_islandgirl
co cl @Getting Fit In Your 30's
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-fbfitthirty
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Rainey
proud owner of:
First of all, don't make your "diet" about weight loss..(as far as he knows anyway..) Make it about "Eating healthier and living healthier" and if you ~just happen to lose 15 lbs in the meantime~ Ooooops!!! lol. Trufully, how could he not want the woman he loves to be healthier. Even if that means giving up a little of the pooch..lol. MY DBF says I can "Lose every where BUT the BOOTY!!" He LOVES my big ol' butt!!
My DBF loves me the way I am.. and he loves me when I binge a little... and he loves me when I lose a little. TOld me the other day "D*mn, girl... you've got the cuttest butt in the world!!" So I walked off with a little more wiggle in my walk than usual...*grin*
I can honestly say that I am losing for me. MY self esteem, MY health, MY benefit but he makes sure he encourages me by saying things like "I have to give you credit, you've stuck to it!" or "Wow, honey, I can really tell you've lost a lot of weight since we met!" or "Don't think those jeans looked as good on you before!!" Those comments make me feel good about myself and show me that my hard work is paying off...
Thanks, Steff!! I needed this today, actually!! I wasn't feeling down or anything, but today I was thinking "Man.. seems like I've been doing this forever.. kinda getting tired of it.." but this might have just supercharged me for another couple weeks!! THANKS!!
~Pam
I think a lot of men are insecure about their mates loosing weight. My bf thinks if I get skinny I will start dressing sexy & leave him. That won't happen but he dosen't always belive me.
But I want to loose weight for myself so I am healty & active. Being thiner is an added bonus.
Be well
Robyn
Correct answer, DBF!!
Men are weird!!
He probably won't react the same way a second time and let's hope not!
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