My husband's truth...
Find a Conversation
My husband's truth...
| Sat, 05-29-2004 - 10:26am |
Thanks to putting my mind to it and all of your words of encouragement, after two days of not eating healthly, I got back on track. I've been eating well and doing at least 10 minutes of treadmill a day. This morning my husband was telling me about this article he had read - something about the weight gains and losses of famous women. When I said that these women were more than just how much weight they've gained, he said they had all became lazy. I said, "do you think I'm lazy?" (thinking his answer would be no since I start my day ususally around 5:30 a.m. and don't stop until the end of the day around 10 or 11). However, my husband said, "Well, if you want an honest answer, I do. I think you've been lazy in not keeping yourself up and allowing yourself to "get like this" and not exercising more." He also went on to say that by allowing myself to get like this I have set a poor example for our daugthers. I am starting my own business, taking care of three kids, taking care of our house, keeping up our garden, and tending to our families and friends. And yet to my husband I am lazy. My conversation with him this morning confirms what I have thought he has felt about me but hadn't said until today. Although he has in the past said he thinks I'm beautiful, blah, blah, blah, this weight I have gained obviously and really negates that sentiment for him. How are you supposed to not feel like your weight doesn't define you when the person who is supposed to treasure you for all the good that you are apparently doesn't really because you've gained too much weight? At the moment, I feel very sad and very hurt...
peg

Pages
I haven't read the other replies yet - I had to respond.
You put him on your pay no mind list.
You are doing so much activity - physically and emotionally. Just because you are not spending 2 hours at the gym or on the treadmill you are not lazy. For some reason people in society assume women let themselves get out of shape and unhealthy. Like I woke up one day and said my life would be great if I gained 100 pounds and stopped exercising. I love having problems with my knees and back. And I really love going in to panic every time I get on a plane or amusement park ride wondering if I will fit in the seat. Increasing my risk of getting several different cancers, diabetes, heart disease & high blood pressure was defiantly on my list of things to do before I die. Ok I got that out of my system.
I am sure you got great advice but here is my two cents worth.
Congrats on getting back on track. That is the first step. Create a sensible eating and exercise plan to follow. Do all the thinking at one time while making the plan. Then you can follow it with out extra planning when you life is busy & hectic. As far as famous women gaining and loosing weigh – they are paid ridiculous amounts of money to look perfect – funny how many have weight problems. Laziness is not the cause but the assumption of uneducated outsiders.
You are not setting a bad example for your daughters. You are providing them with a loving home life. Your weight does not define you. The quality of life you live defines you. When you are 85 years old will it matter you were a size 2 or that you lived life to the fullest and raised wonderful daughters?
I understand you are hurt. But your husband could have been honest sooner. You are on a board with wonderful women. Post often and have a wonderful day.
Robyn
Jazzdiva
Jazzdiva
Pages