Mostly mad and upset at myself

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mostly mad and upset at myself
10
Wed, 08-04-2004 - 3:20pm

GRRR! This post will mostly be about my DD (4)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Wed, 08-04-2004 - 4:34pm

Wowsers! Okay, this reinforces my choice to not have kids. lol. But seriously, I can understand. One reason I don't want kids is because I know I'd expect WAY too much out of them, and well, you obvioulsy have a lot more patience than me, I'm sure I would've burst, oh, around the Kix part. No wait. I'd be upset already for having been woken up at 6am cuz she refused to eat dinner the previous night and is hungry. lol. I am NOT a morning person.


Hugs. I have no advice obviously, as I have no kids.


All I can say, I love dogs, and I love that they go through these "phases", like children, A LOT FASTER =)


Stay patient. And don't beat yourself up. You know what you did wrong, and you apologized, and well, the best thing you can do is not repeat it. Everyone makes mistakes. Even mom's.

~Cher




my pet!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 08-04-2004 - 7:49pm

Heather, teaching 3-6 year olds I know where you're coming from. And to think I was beginning to miss the kids, that is until I read your post, lol- just kidding!


I can totally relate to your day w/dd- I have a couple of pills like that in my class- shh! don't tell I said so!


I think how you reacted is pretty normal- though perhaps a little strong, but I'm not here to pass judgement, and understand where the outburst came from. The way you dealt with it afterwards was great! The next time something like that arises here's a different approach "DD- I need a time-out" ask her to leave you alone for a few minutes. This is hard on children- but gets the point across, and gives you the time you need to calm down!


As for the "I can't do it" excuse- have her help you doing chores. Children love to do what we as adults do, and where we see them as jobs they see them as something fun! Have her help sort the laundry, help bring in the groceries- get her involved in the 'activity'/job and she may not be the princess, for that time at least!


The food thing.....well from what you said you seem to be handling that just right, Goldilocks ;-)


I'm heading out the door in just a few, but these are my first thoughts on your situation. If I think of anything else I'll post them. Or you want some other suggestions let me know.


Hang in there Mom ;-)
~IG

~-~ Moderation is Key ~-~

cl-vi_islandgirl
Getting Fit in Your 30's

_____________________________________________________

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 7:26am

Cher-thank you so much for your kind words they made me cry.


IG-I will use the "mommy time out" still unsure as to weather or not it'll work-she refuses to "go play in the playroom" most of the time but perhaps if I set a timer and tell her that I need a time out (hmm should I set it for 30minutes based on the age/time thing? LOL)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2003
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 10:50am

Oh Heather... honey, I'm so sorry that you had a terribly crappy day with DD.

~~ Steffy ~~
Avatar for i_debbie37
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 1:42pm
Heather -

I have a 4 year old DD who will turn 5 in September. This is what I've learned about her - she's unpreditable. I affectionately nicknamed her "Sybil". Depending on how old you are will depend on if you understand the nickname.

I feel your frustration. At least you are a yeller and not a hitter. I found out that I'm a yeller also. Mommies are not perfect and they weren't meant to be. We do the best we can under the circumstances.

Do you get any alone time? If not, you really need to. I put my DD to bed around 7:30/8:00 so I can have my alone and unwind time. Some evenings I can't wait for 7:30 to roll around. Of course she's up early every morning w/ me, but by then I'm ready to see her again.

To all of those who who said that they are glad they don't have children it's not like that all the time and there are more special moments that make up for it 100%. I too, swore off children. Then I turned 30 and my biological clock got the best of me and I started wanted one. It took years of trying before she arrived, but oh so worth it. I'm not saying motherhood is for everyone and I respect everyone's opinions. It was right for me. She's the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of when I fall asleep. For me, she's a gift from God.

Hang in there Heather. You may not feel it now, but before you know it, she'll be all grown up and off on her own. I don't know about you, but the 4 1/2 years she's been here now have flown.

Take care all.

Debbie

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2003
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 3:47pm

What a touching and endearing and encouraging post ~ I teared up a little and I don't have children.

~~ Steffy ~~
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Thu, 08-05-2004 - 5:31pm

To all of those who who said that they are glad they don't have children it's not like that all the time and there are more special moments that make up for it 100%. I too, swore off children. Then I turned 30 and my biological clock got the best of me and I started wanted one. It took years of trying before she arrived, but oh so worth it. I'm not saying motherhood is for everyone and I respect everyone's opinions. It was right for me. She's the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of when I fall asleep. For me, she's a gift from God.

Hang in there Heather. You may not feel it now, but before you know it, she'll be all grown up and off on her own. I don't know about you, but the 4 1/2 years she's been here now have flown.


Totally agree. =) I hear children are such a great thing, and no they aren't like that all the time. lol. One would hope. And yup, I agree, they do grow up fast. My cousin, her daughter is now 14. Where DID the time go. And she's not even mine. =)


For myself. I don't swear off children because of their bad days (which in some instances, I do blame the parents parenting styles), I swear them off because I want a certain lifestyle and I can't have that with kids.


Besides, I give credit to those GREAT mother's out there (that includes you Heather), but if




my pet!

Avatar for momofmatt4
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2003
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 12:26am
I too have a lifestyle that works better without children, unfortunately I had 4 kids before I realized it. LOL. I have to admit I love my kids and wouldn't trade them for any amount of freedom to do the things I want to do, that time will come for me. But, (theres always a but...) I also have to admit that I'm not a kid person. And if I had it to do over I would have remained childless. I kinda realized I'm not a kid person because I really do not like anything about other peoples kids. I only like mine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 7:29am

Debbie,


You said exactly how I feel.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Fri, 08-06-2004 - 11:07am

Wow! 4 Kids. lol.


See, I'm sure that'd be me. That I would love mine, but could careless for others. lol. Ah, but why take that chance, huh?

~Cher




my pet!