HuMp Day Humor . . .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
HuMp Day Humor . . .
3
Wed, 01-25-2006 - 6:26am

Time for some laughs- here's my funny for the day and seeing as it is HuMp day this I thought was more than appropriate:


Top Ten Reasons Why Diets Are Better Than Sex


10. You don't have to take off your clothes.


9. You can go from diet to diet without feeling guilty.


8. Celery is ALWAYS hard.


7. On a diet, you carefully consider everything you put in your mouth.


6. It's GOOD if a diet is over quickly.


5. Dieting doesn't make you pregnant.


4. You can doze off in the middle if you want to.


3. It's okay if your dog watches.


2. You can do it with your best friend's husband.


And the number one reason why dieting is better than sex....


1. You don't have to worry if it was good for the cottage cheese too!


~IslandGirl



You can't reach your dreams lying down!



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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
Wed, 01-25-2006 - 11:47am

LOL!!!!


Well I'll say that over the last few years, I've been getting a lot more diets than the other, so I must be waaayyyyyy ahead of the game!! LOL


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
Wed, 01-25-2006 - 12:37pm

Here's another cute one:


Women's Demerit System


SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed.....+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows...0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
You leave the toilet seat up.....-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.....0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.... -2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings...+5
In the snow ....+8
But return with beer.....-5
And no liners.....-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5
You pummel it with a six iron.....+10
It's her cat.....-40


AT THE PARTY


You stay by her side the entire party.....0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy.....-2
Named Tiffany.....-4
Tiffany is a dancer.....-10
With breast implants.....-18


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 01-25-2006 - 6:19pm
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".....-800 {that is a pot belly} LOL!!!!!!!!


~IslandGirl



You can't reach your dreams lying down!



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