Someone, just put me down....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Someone, just put me down....
18
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 9:42am

I have to remind myself with a BIG NOTE, NEVER EVER weigh yourself in the morning, PERIOD!! I was up at 6:30 and well, my day was ruined when I got on the scale and have since gained 3lbs since last week. WTF!


It doesn't matter, you can all ask me what I've been doing and I'll say, "eating cookies". I swear, what is wrong with me. I have seriously considered going to a hypnotist. I'm hungry all the time, I am craving sweets, I have no energy to work out because of my overly packed schedule, and I fit in some sort of work out anyways, and so I'm tired and burning out and well....


I think that's just it. I hit rock bottom. With the wedding coming up, me wanting to look good and ENJOY Hawaii in a cute bathing suit, I'm about ready to just starve myself and see what happens in 4 weeks. It's sad, but I'm starting to feel desperate. I was thinking this morning, maybe binging/purging for two months isn't as bad as it seems. Maybe I should get nicotine patches because ppl who smoke lose weight. Maybe I should buy those $100 pills and pop them, who cares if I get no sleep because I'm so jittery. Etc, etc, etc.


I sit here and I wonder. What am I fighting? I work hard and lose weight. And now, at my age, I'm beginning to realize, I will FOREVER have to work out everyday for 30-60 mins and do weights to remain in shape. Once I stop working out, seriously, I start packing on the weight again. It'll be a never ending fight and I think that's why I just give up. What's the point? I'm not the type of person that wants to say, "I'll see you at 9pm, because I'm going to go work out, but wait, by that time, I'll be tired, so nevermind". Basically, I have no life.


How do you guys do this? If I work out for an hour, plus say 15 mins weights, by the time I eat, let's assume it takes 15 mins to make something, it's almost 9pm. Then I have about

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 9:36am

Everyone, has given you some great ideas I'm sure there is not much I can add other than I feel for you and this all will eventually pass and things will become more even keel eventually.


My only suggestion is to prioritize. What can you let go of until after the wedding? what can you delegate to K? Trust me I know how hard the delegating thing can be. I delegate the things I feel I can't let go of but won't kill me if they don't get done and aren't done to my particular standards. lol


Slow down a little there is only so much you have control over and you really need to enjoy the ride a little bit.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 10:03am

Hey Cher - first of all I hope your day is looking brighter today!


Secondly - Gretchen's idea about delegating some stuff to K would serve a couple of purposes - it would get some stuff off your plate, and it would occupy him so that you can get YOU stuff done!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 11:48am

Thanks. Sadly, prioritizing is kinda hard right now, because NOTHING can wait until AFTER the wedding, except for anything relating to weight. Everything else needs to be completed prior to the wedding. Scary, huh?


Oops, and I forgot to tell my new prof about me leaving during the last week of school. Dangit. I better email her again. Ah, I'll just wait for her to email me or until class starts next week. Yuck.


Delegating to K? Not much unfortunately. I can ask him to look for vacation packages, but as he said, "I don't know what I"m looking for". However, I'm going to show him what he should look for, this weekend, so he can look after work, or early before he starts his day, etc. I can't really delegate the florists, only because I need to call them, and he doesn't have time to call them. HOWEVER, now that I think about it, they are 2 hours behind us (soon to be 3), so he can call when he gets home from work. Otherwise, that's about it. And honestly, I don't trust him to know what he's doing. He's pretty much incompetent when it comes to researching best prices on the net. He gets lazy and says screw it, I'll just buy it (even if it's WAY more than what it should be). So, another reason why I don't trust him. Everythign else, I've already taken care of. And the rest of my stress is school.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 11:55am

Cute photo. Thanks. I think the hard part, and I feel guilty about it, is that if I delegate anything to K, that puts even MORE pressure on him. He's ultra crazy with work, knowing he HAS to make X amount of money to not only support us, but to pay for this wedding. He works from 6am to 5pm, most times, straight through lunch. How can you ask someone, who works like that, to do things after work? I feel guilty. Especially because I do this all day (post).


So, I do what I can, so he can concetrate on work, and not stress too much about me stressing out. I know I'm taking a lot on my own shoulders, but is it fair of me to place a lot of that on him too? What is fair? What isn't? I should ask my second marriage board that question.


I think I will ask him to help out with making calls......after the time changes. Because then they are 3 hours behind. I'm trying to do most things over the net, but let's be real......it's not easy. And, I think it's time for me to fess up to a co-worker about me getting married, because then maybe her in-laws can give me suggestions for florists and the sort (since they live there).


I just have to figure otu how to alleviate my stress. I guess, knowing I only have a month to get everything together, freaks me out. but, i guess that's truly a lot of time.


It didn't help that last night at 1:30, i found a great package to maui for $1400....at 1:35 it was $1600 and prices haven't come back down. :( Oh, and that same package, was $1300 back in early march. AUGH! That just pissed me off big time.


AND to top things off. I made some HUGE errors on this months budget (my own), so I'm massively short on money. Not good timing, nor something smart. I have $50 to cover me for food (all food) for the next two weeks and anything else that may come up. Sucks.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 1:42pm

I see what you mean about K.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 3:40pm

I know, I know. There's really not much to do. I think the budget is stressing me out more. I mean, this woman showed me her photos before and after with her hair and make-up done, she looked so beautiful in the photos with the make-up/hair done professionally. Well, that's another $140 (although that's pretty cheap). UGH!


I think that's what is stressing me out. Money.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 7:44pm

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone. I've had a ton of stress put on my recently, and well, with the weight gain, I think I was about to lose it completely.


I just booked my wedding coordinator and will book my travel package soon. So, the BIG things are off my shoulders. I can now, concentrate on a few other things and not have to worry about getting to Maui, and getting married. The rest, is peanuts. :)


I hope to be back on track soon. BTW, I went home with a HUGE headache last night and went to bed around 7pm. Granted I woke up here and there, but overall, I felt really great this morning. Mostly because I stayed away from the scale AND I got some sleep. Tonight, I may do some working out, and then crash early.


Again, thanks for all the support. You ladies are so wonderful.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 9:40pm

(I'm using the frazzled icon cuz I think he's cute...lol).


Anyway....


I'm offering you some hugs and relaxing vibes!


Your post sounds like something I could have written.

                            

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