When you get married what did you do ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2003
When you get married what did you do ...
11
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 2:49pm

When you get married what did you do or plan to do for a last name:



  • take your husband's last name
  • "merge" your last name and his last name to create a new name
  • hyphenate your last name
  • keep my name, my husband is keeping his, our kids will have his last name


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 2:13pm

How far we haven't come with feminism. You didn't even OFFER the choice of him taking my name? Why? I have a real issue with this "tradition". It started when women were considered property and thus, their last name was changed when they were given to their husband (now being his property). Because of this, I absolutely refuse to take my fiance last name. He would be more than happy to take mine - but - we'd have to deal with his family and my family disapproving. As you can see, its certainly not very "traditional" and unaccepted. Women say, "I wanted his last name" or "we chose" but lets be honest, our choices are: take his or keep our own. And if we keep our own, our children will have a different last name.

Hence, all the "mixing" and choosing random names. They are struggling to find an equitable solution. I've offered that to my DF but he doesn't want a name that neither one of us is connected to. He'd rather have mine or his. My name is "cool" sounding...so I actually like it better. His last name is really long so we can't hyphenate or anything.

So we are stuck with what to do...and getting married in one month. In my province it is legal to use to your spouse's name (w/o requiring courts).

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet? I'm not so sure...I changed my first name bc I know the experience of that to be quite different for human social interaction!

Go.

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