How to behave around 'that' friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2003
How to behave around 'that' friend
11
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 8:22am

'That' friend for me is a guy and a very dear friend of mine and would completely understand if I said 'oh, I'm eating better' or 'no thanks' and yet I just never try that. It just feels comfortable to celebrate and enjoy food and have a few drinks with him ~ It's kinda just a 'what we do' thing.

So, yesterday, I did well. The night before last, I realized that I have gained 6 full inches
IN
MY
WAIST
ALONE
OMG!!! Yes, I knew that since I lost the 170lbs, that some weight was packing on me. I knew it somewhere around 20 pounds, but that measuring tape was a total eye opener. So, I was eating well ...recording calories in fitday and planning to workout. But, I had to run an errand to take him a crock pot, and before I knew it... I had a beer in my hand and homemade pizzas were being cooked up by a friend of his. These guys are super amazing cooks ... and yep, they were small pizzas, but I ended up having 5 slices and 5 beers ~ and that "good day" suddnely turned into, 2,772 calories for the day!!!

So, I don't even know that I'm looking for advice ~ probably more just confessing my sins and my weaknesses. And asking....do you have that friend too?? Who are they? And what activities do you do together??

~~ Steffy ~~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2003
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 1:54pm

Ironically my friend also knows how to eat healthy and diets with me from time to time. We also both I think got a little fatter and leaner as friends, so it balanced out. I think it's good to have friends like that, and don't beat yourself up, but perhaps you can curtail the eating in leu of bike rides or get him a super healthy cookbook as a gift...sushi is not too bad and is still fun to make. Lastly, be thankful you don't have a friend like I do is decides it's best to chastise me the night of my birthday on my "eating disorder" issues. Ok for the record, I don't have issues, I just want to get to a healthy weight - however her issues are to make anything about others an issue.

So I say enjoy your friend, eat, drink and be merry. You can always for a jog the next day and save up calories for when you are going to see them again. It's not realistic to not have 2700 calories days from time to time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 5:44pm

I think awareness helps in these situations. Just being aware of what you're eating/drinking -- the awareness will help you to stop when you realize it's enough. That way it doesn't have to be all or nothing. I often overeat when I'm around my family ... and the reason is because "before I know it" I've engaged in hand-to-mouth behavior and consumed a lot because I'm just not paying attention to what I'm doing, I'm too focused on other people. I think this can easily happen when we're eating with others. Our focus tends to be on the other person and we don't realize how much we're eating. We probably don't even want that much, we're just not thinking about what we're doing!


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2001
Sat, 01-20-2007 - 7:00pm

Oh yes I have "that friend". Every other week we hit


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 01-21-2007 - 10:17am

Yup.....I have a friend like that too Steffy......have to say though our focus is more on the alcoholic calories!! When eating we're pretty much the same, and often choose the better of two evils when it comes to food choices together.


I think everyone probably has a friend like that (and they're usually the ones who don't have to worry about putting on a pound or two. Right?)


Remember that 'moderation is key', and taking Vanessa's point about being good the day before and after into consideration may just ward off some of that guilt!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2003
Sun, 01-21-2007 - 3:30pm

All of you has really good answers! Thanks for your input ... I definitely won't avoid fun times with the friend for the sake of my own lack of discipline. We both enjoy good food and good drinks (oh, IG, I totally understand the alcoholic calories) and the company that goes along with it.

And great points were made about being good a day beroe and after, and when it's not super frequent that we can together, it's certainly manageable!! : ) You ladies are great, as always!!

~~ Steffy ~~
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2007
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 10:13am
I think I read that if you change your eating habits once in a while (like up-ing your calories), your body "sees" that there is more food and calories to burn.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 10:45am

Of course I have that friend(s). lol


What I do, which doesn't work all the time, is I plan ahead. If I'm having lunch with a friend I consider it a treat and really watch what I eat before and after lunch. Since the main friend I eat out with is "weight watching" as well we do go places that we can get stuff that isn't so terrible.


I go out every Friday night and drink so again I watch what I eat all day and if I'm good I can start Friday evening just under 1000 calories. However, I have to eat something else or the booze kicks in way to fast. lol So we split an sampler platter or something like that.


I figure if I plan ahead and consider these my treats I won't over indulge at other times in the week. Sometimes this works great sometimes not.

What I'm Reading!


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 11:38am

Gretchen, I agree about planning ahead! Of course, I'm horrible at doing that, but I am going to try to keep that in mind!


My "friend" is actually my sister. And even though we are both trying to watch our weight, we tend to socialize around food. Every time I went to Calgary we woud go for Dim Sum, which is a huge meal. It became an 'event' for us, and it seems that we are just so bad an enabling each other. I think it allows us to splurge without guilt, because neither of us will say "oh maybe we shouldn't".


My other friend is my pregnant girlfriend. We both have a wierd relationship with weight, and it seems like before she was pregnant we woudl both be watching our weight at different times and I think sometimes we kind of sabotaged each other's efforts. LOL So now that she is eating for two, she'll say, oh come on, treat yourself once in a while, and of course I do. I have to get over the issue of "treating myself" with food.


Great question/comments Steffy!


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 12:15pm
What helps me plan ahead is that I'll be able to sit down and have some drinks and an appetizer without feeling horrible about it. It actually also helps me get excited about the whole evening.

What I'm Reading!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 01-22-2007 - 4:56pm

However, I have to eat something else or the booze kicks in way too fast.



~you wouldn't want this at the bowling alley Gretchen.....the ball is supposed to hit the pins LMAO.....

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