Not even sure how or where to start....
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| Tue, 02-06-2007 - 12:12am |
Hello everyone. This is my first time posting to this board and not really sure where to start.....
I am a 31 year old mother of 2. My son is 4 and my daughter is 16 months. I have been living common-law with my husband for 10 years. I was thin, curvy and a healthy eater when I met him. Then came the regular meals of take out food everyday, sometimes twice a day. I was 125 - 130 lbs then. I am currently 185 lbs. I am only 5'5" tall.
I am at my wits end - any glimpse I get walking by a mirror, seeing my reflection, it just makes me shake my head. No longer do I have my curvy hourglass figure; now I am an apple. I have never been an apple before and I feel so very unsexy.
I need to start eating better, but it actually scares me to do so. As a teenager I was so obsessed with food and had a full blown eating disorder. I was a bulimic annorexic. Most of the time I would not eat, then if I had to I would get rid of it within the hour. I am terrified that I will revert back to those urges. I know it has been so long since I have lived that way, but I know that it will always be a part of me even if it is stuffed way down low inside.
I figure that I will continue to eat what I want, when I want and just try to exercise everyday until my confidence in my own strength increases. I was thinking that I could be a member of this board to note accomplishments and maybe get some encouragement. No one in my life knows exactly how I feel. Yeah, they know that I am overweight and that I feel fat and hate it, but they have no idea about the depth of it. My husband really isn't any kind of help. He actually makes suggestions to fast food regularly.
Well now that I have seriously depressed everyone who read my post....is there anyone else on this board who have similar challenges?
Dayle

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Welcome to the 30's board Dayle-- our board members are wonderful at supporting each other- you'll find everyone friendly and helpful around here ;-)
That's a shame that your dh is not all that supportive towards you getting healthier....have you really sat down and talked to him about it?
I would suggest that you talk to your doctor about helping you to formulate a plan to start off with. (Did I read that you have a young baby to take care of? You want to ensure you're tackling this change in a healthy way, not only for you, but for your family too.
We are in week 2 of a challenge; check it out...it's posted in the folder below this main one.
We have a website (that has not been updated in a l-o-n-g time). On it there's a page with some starting off tips. Check it out: http://getfit30.tripod.com/id1.html
One of our favorite slogans around here is: baby steps. Work on something one day, let's say drinking water, and then the next day incorporate something else, like less snacking (or whatever).
Another of our favorites is: Moderation IS Key- keep it in mind!
iVillage is full of information, but if you are looking for something specific, don't hesitate to ask. Once again, welcome to the 30's board :-)
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Welcome to the board! I'm sure you will find this place extremely supportive and informative! The women here are wonderful!
It sounds like you have a number of issues to deal with regarding food. I'm sure that your past experiences leave you wary of restricting yourself food-wise. I think that it will be important for you to take baby steps, like IG said, and to continually reassure yourself that you are not restricting or limiting yourself, just making some adjustments.
I think seeing a doctor to get an idea of what your nutritional needs are would be a good idea. It may help you to approach this as simply a health issue you are trying to resolve, rather than a diet or a fitness regimen.
I would love to see you join our challenge, there are some good tips on getting started, and will provide some goals to shoot for!
Great to see you here!
Hi again,
Thanks so much for the welcomings. After just rereading my post from last night, I realized how much of an overwhelming introduction I gave myself! lol I'm not that depressing all of the time. I think I was in a bit of a frump last night and was just totally fed up with myself!
I have looked over the challenge that is happening here on the board and it looks interesting. How do you track your points? Who has the simpliest of ways to track them?
Let me know!
Dayle
Dayle
SAHM Mommy to
Braeden(4) and Ciara(2)<
We all track our own points. You are really just earning points on a weekly basis - check out one of the Challenge week 1 journals, and see how we added them up at the end of the week:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-fbfitthirty&msg=11998.11&x=yAnd as for your 'overwhelming' post, not to worry - we've all reached those points where you think "ohmigosh, I just HAVE to do something" LOL.
I read your post and knew exactly how you felt. In fact I had to check that I did not type it myself. Granted I do not have children, I too was fairly fit and nice looking before I went back to school. I ended up being 184pds at 5.5 and was very upset about it. I would try to lose weight from time to time and nothing seemed to stick until I hunkered down, weighed myself, and started counting those dang calories. It's been a hard road and believe me I have faltered - I intially lost 9pds then nothing for 4months; that was of course on account of me not counting or weighing myself. My bf is lovely and really I think was a bit concerned as well - I gained 20pds during our relationship and that really upset him. Not for how I looked, but how I was feeling, acting and how my body was reacting. I was not healthy!
Last November I was reminded of how others saw me when someone he worked with said that they did not recongise cuz they thought my boyfriend had a fat girlfriend. That really sucked, granted I had not seen this person for two years, but I did not realise how much I had gained and perhaps how much I had actually lost. I never weighed myself till about two months after I started jogging and counting for fear of the dreaded scale. I had it in my head that I was 200pds. So sence the dreaded comment and seeing the pain on my boyfriend's face when he heard this guys comment, I have dropped another 12pds and I am really happy I have. I feel better about me, physically and mentally. And here's another secret, I too have struggled with eating disorder since the age of 13. I was bulimic, with a tendency to be more anorexic. So really I am also proud of the fact that I took the slow and hard route, rather than the quick route that both you and I have taken before.
So why did I just type all that, not cuz I am egotistical (which we all are a tiny bit), but cuz I hope it helps you to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I was right where you are now a year ago and am stoked that I am about 13pds from my goal. So if I can get here so can you, and don't fret if it takes a long time, this is for the rest of your life so really as long as you stick to it, it will come off. You will get back to your old curvy self!
And if you need someone to talk you or keep you encouraged, let me know. Us 5.5 gals gotta stick together. :)
Edited 2/6/2007 2:04 pm ET by monetsf
Edited 2/6/2007 2:05 pm ET by monetsf
Oh monetsf!! I could hug you right now!! You have given me so much hope, I actually have some tears in my eyes! Your post has totally made me feel like I really am not alone; that there are other people out there with the same struggles and they overcome them.
I eventually want to be able to jog as well! My son starts school in September and I am hoping by then I will have the ability to jog him to and from school with a double jogging stroller for him and my daughter. For now I am starting off small with belly dancing (no pun intended! lol) It's something I have always wanted to do so now I am doing it. I figure it will help me with my confidence, help wake up some muscles and give me some energy. It's been a lot of fun too!
Thanks again - see you on the boards!
Dayle
Dayle
SAHM Mommy to
Braeden(4) and Ciara(2)<
Hi there and welcome! You'll find a lot of great support here, it's a very friendly board.
I empathize -- I had an eating disorder in high school and early college. It was an anorexic mentality where I ate very little and exercised excessively. It didn't get as severe or scary as many anorexics, but it was very unhealthy, obviously, and was so tied up in so many issues. So I know where you're coming from in terms of not wanting to get into the "restrict yourself" mentality. I am the same way -- I cannot think in terms of restricting myself or depriving myself or forcing myself not to eat, let alone the term "diet"
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Not quite ready for classes nor do I think there are any in my area! I am using the Goddess Workout with Dolphina. It's fun and she breaks down the steps into simple moves and it comes with 3 disks; Basic (which is what I am on), Warrior(advanced) then Veils and Cymbals(way advanced!)
I try to complete the video first thing in the morning so that I feel loose al day - she does a lot of stretches in the video. If you're looking for something different to do, I suggest you give it a go! I eventually want to try Carmen Electra' work out too! lol But baby steps for now....
Cheers!
Dayle
Dayle
SAHM Mommy to
Braeden(4) and Ciara(2)<
That's a good idea to stretch everything out in the morning Dayle- is this the workout (http://www.pinkgypsy.com/dolphina/)? She looks interesting.....and I read that we all have some goddess in us. True, true ;-)
Yes......baby steps!
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