For those of you with kids...

Avatar for rebekkie2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
For those of you with kids...
7
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 12:26am

While I was growing up, my mom was constantly on a "crash diet" or complaining about how fat she was (she wasn't) or how fat she felt. I picked it up but keep it silent, because I really really really don't want my girls (I have four!) to grow up being forever unsatisfied with their bodies. I want them to grow up confident and comfortable, not forever putting themselves down because they don't look like they "should."

Well now, I am about 25 lbs. overweight, and I really do need to do something very different. How do I go about this, because the girls will no doubt notice my changes, won't they? How do I teach them that I am too fat right now, that it isn't healthy, and that I need to fix it without it becoming a "topic"? I hope I am making myself clear - I am having a hard time finding the words...

Rebecca

Rebecca, wonderful wife and mom to the Fabulous Four!                   &n

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2007
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 7:13am
I went through this with my daughter. I how ever am nearly 100 lbs overweight and my changes are often drastic.
I tell her that making good choices is what it's about. Eating healthy is not dieting and it is a skill we teach in school as well as many other places our girls are seeing.
It's a matter of taking it on as an educational thing rather than an emotional frenzy.
(Unfortunately I have not mastered the skill of eating properly or controlling it...she has)
She is perfectly proportioned, she excercises, reads labels and controls her eating.
I figure I have done her a service in teaching her the proper way rather than her logging on somewhere and learning inappropriate ways to make herself thin.
M~~~
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Registered: 12-09-2006
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 7:27am

If I were you, I'd just focus on more exercise. It doesn't need to be some major topic. Reducing sweets and junk food is pretty easy - just don't buy as much (it wasn't on sale is always a good reply).
My mother has a similar outlook as your mother. It was always about dieting(never exercise)and in the end, one of her dieting options was instrumental in causing a serious health problem.
I'm not one to emphasize the food unless something is excessive. For instance, my kids are not denied access to sweets. However, if they're tearing through the cookies AND I find candy wrappers in their bedroom, we talk about how lots of sugar isn't good for them and point out other options (not to mention it attracts pests to the bedroom). Then the cookies are taken away for a week. *I'm sure they're able to get sweets in school but at lesat they are not doubling up.
In the end, both are pretty good about moderation. So, maybe your discussion would be something based on not feeling like you get enough exercise and making the effort to change that.

Good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 9:48am

I agree with the other posters Rebecca....use this as a 'tool' for teaching good healthy habits. Think about what it is YOU really need to change- is that you consume too much fat? Eat unhealthy snacks?......then figure out how YOU will change your habits. When you have formulated a plan for yourself THEN you can talk to the girls about why and what you are doing- and at the same time you'll be telling them realistically why you are doing this, etc....


Although I don't have kids I to teach (albeit little-itty-bitty ones) but we do talk about the food groups and at lunch (after they've had the lesson) they all look at each others lunches and discuss who has what. They're often appalled to see that they have more "pink foods" (fats & oils group) than let's say either of the greens (fruits & veggies). I often hear back from the parents the following day LOL~~


Just keep it real with the girls- and perhaps not mention the word *diet*......there are far too many healthy young girls out there concerned about their weight.







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Registered: 10-11-2004
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 9:48am

My daughter is only 11 months old BUT she is my motivation.

 



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
Tue, 07-03-2007 - 12:29pm

This is such a tough one. I have a son who is developing some horrible snacking habits - junk food all the time when I'm not around, and then I don't have the healthiest snacking habits either - compounding the problem. And it isn't just girls who have body image issues - our kids are growing up in a society where obesity is becoming the norm rather than the exception, and we have to work at educating not only them but ourselves on how to combat it.


I do try to teach him that it isn't about deprivation, but making educated choices. So if you are going to a movie and going to have popcorn, then you don't need to eat junk at lunch and dinner, make sure you try to balance your meals so that you can have treat yourself and still come out on top at the end of the day. I also try to get him to help with cooking at home, convenience foods are generally chock full of calories and all sorts of stuff our bodies dont' need. I find the more home cooking I do, the lower my calories are (hmmm, except for cookies, and the like LOL).


As for exercise concentrate on functional exercise first - walking to more places, or biking. That way it isnt' something you do to "lose weight" but something you do because it's healthy, AND of course, you're helping the environment.


Good luck Rebecca, this is a tough one for all parents out there - finding that balance between healthy body image and compulsion.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2001
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 12:40am

Dangit


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 07-04-2007 - 10:48am

Aww~~ how cute is it that your kids think soft drinks are 'spicy' LOL- I guess the *ping* of the bubbles as they burst are the culprit!! Good. I also like how you put your exercise (recess) time to them Vanessa :-)


~IG

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