A "face the facts" moment...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2002
A "face the facts" moment...
18
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 10:38am
Have you ever, or what was the last time, you had a "face the facts" moment? What I'm referring to is one of those times when you're confronted with something you were hoping wasn't true and had to just DEAL, whether it's your body type, age, strength, agility.....

I had one of those last night, as I came into the locker room after my bike ride, feeling all strong and powerful for the fourth day this week, and lifted up my shirt in front of the mirror to look at my stomach. :\ After taking six weeks off working out to study, I'm NOT going to get it back in FOUR DAYS. It was ridiculous to even think that I'd bounce back that quickly, I'm typically much more rational than that! If I got this way in six weeks, I'd wager it will take me another 4-6 weeks to get better than where I was.

So I picked up my motivation off the floor, put on my coat, and went home for a Gardenburger and seasoned potato wedges (baked) and a yogurt. ;)

Thanks for keeping me inspired, moments like this help me focus!

Judie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 10:51am
That's a great WWGRD moment! The easy thing would have been to go home and have a pint of Ben and Jerry's and mope. I think you'll be back to where you were quickly (not in four days, though!). Plus, think of how quickly 4 weeks goes by. Well...think of how quickly four weeks go by when you're not studying and can go out and have fun, especially now that spring is here. Hey, if you want, add goals for the last two weeks of April. That might be even more motivation.





Avatar for cl_alanagreenberg
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 11:01am
I had that experiance last night too, cept it was with my quads... they were looking a bit chunky and do I dare say some cellulite looked like it was taking up a new home. So I did squats 2 sets of 15 and one set of 15 reverse lunches then 15 for my inner thighs. Then I tried to walk LOL! My quads just stiffened up and cramped up it hurt so bad... I stretched and rubbed them and now they are just a bit sore. WOW what a reality check. Spinning doesn't work them the same way as squats at all!

Alana

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 11:57am
i have a face the facts moment every once in a while when i see a tall, lithe model and realize (like i didn't know this before!?) that i'll never look like that no matter what i do. but it doesn't last long, usually i'm just focused on looking the best for my body type and proud of my progress towards that ideal.

on the other hand, i also have face the facts moments where i realize that i'm not overweight, i don't look like my mother (she was obese), and there's no reason to think i will ever be overweight if i keep doing what i'm doing. obviously i know that i'm not overweight, and obviously i know that people don't just all of a sudden become overweight while eating healthy portions of healthy food and exercising regularly (unless they have a thyroid condition or something). but after growing up pudgy and i guess worrying about having my mother's genes, sometimes the realization that i'm not fat surprises me. i still have the mind of a fat girl, regardless of what i look like.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2002
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 2:30pm
I'm with you. I grew up as the heavier of a set of twins. It is NOT good for the self esteem to have your twin sister referred to as "the thinner one" when you're 10, 14, 16... It's not my fault she had stomach issues when we were little, but that's how one gets to be bigger than the other, and in formative years that makes a difference. I have always had a healthy (at times impressive) appetite, which is very noticeable when she's "not hungry."

To add to that, my mom and my other three sisters are all weight-paranoid as well. I'm not sure if it's something that my dad instilled in all of us or not, but there was a lot of guilt associated with certain foods. My oldest sister was anorexic in college and is now about 70 pounds overweight and struggling to regain a normal metabolism. We have horrible relationships with food!

But I still go back to using my twin as a benchmark, no matter how many people tell me she's not a healthy-looking thin. It's a hell of a struggle, she didn't get up to my weight until she was six months pregnant. Do I obsess about it? Yes. Is that healthy? No. Can I admit that I don't accept myself the way I am? .....Yes. *sigh* Food is my life, and while she'd like to have the muscles that I do, I'd like to not have to worry about whether my pants will fit like she doesn't. I have to figure out, when I have a family and a big house like she does, how I'm going to get workouts into my schedule so I don't turn into a hippo.

I guess instead of being my motivation today you guys are my group therapy! lol....

Enjoy your weekends!

Judie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 2:52pm
Thin sisters!!! My sister is 30 pounds lighter than I am. She's super-fit, though, and loves backpacking, hiking w/ 50 pounds packs. The only time she couldn't hold her own was with a few guys and they cross country skied out to a snowhut during a blizzard and the wind about blew her down, with her heavy pack. She said the last two miles were uphill so they carried her pack for her. That sounded like my idea of a vacation from hell. No running water (no toilets, they used outdoor buckets in the blizzard!), no electricity in the middle of nowhere with 25 sweaty people who also skied in. She had a great time. Call me a wimp.

But, I think I'm healthier because I've had to make an effort to eat better and to learn the best way to work out for me. She's never paid attention to what she eats, while I'm super particular about what's good for me.

When you have a family and big house, you'll find time to work out because it's already part of your life. I can't think of anyone who used to work out a lot before kids and stopped since having them. The best incentive is to keep yourself healthy and teach them how to be.:-)






iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Fri, 04-18-2003 - 3:52pm
I guess I'll share my woes too. My younger sister, who is 24, wore a size zero until this winter when she "ballooned" to a size 3. When she calls me to ask for work-out tips and healthy food suggestions, I don't have a clue what to tell her. When we were younger, I was the "older" one. Now, when I'm not around, I bet I'm the "bigger" one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-19-2003 - 12:23pm
Argh to family relationships and weight! Must add mine.

I was the thin one. And that is funny when you look at it, since I have not been smaller than a 12 since I was 9 years old. My sister was morbidly obese, talking 5 ft and 350 pounds. My mother has hovered around a 16 for most of my teen/adult years but had shoved it down my throat that she was a size 5 until she had me (at 34) and that it was sickness from having me that ruined her figure. Her "perfection" ate my sister and I alive inside. (Mind you, Donna's 12 years older than me, so I never knew the taunts and teasing she went through when I was little and "cute and perfect".) It has taken years to repair my relationship with my sister because of my mom and step-mom's unthinking comments. (My step-mom makes my mom look like a saint, btw. We won't even go there, it is ugly.) It has taken me years to realize that my mother is still living in her glory days and that she has spent more than half her life holding on to a few pictures of when she was thin. But, more importantly, I recently had to face the biggest WWGRD moment of all (before I was even a GR). My initial weight gain and obesity was very closely tied to some childhood abuse I suffered at my biological father's hands. While I was responsible for what I put in my mouth, it was originally done in response to something he was doing. I had to face the truth that he is no longer a threat, and hasn't been for years, when he died in February. There were a million things that I had to realize and examine and move on, which I did. But that was a scary moment, the one where my only scapegoat was gone and the only one I had to really blame for years of bad living was myself.

Right now my sister and I are wearing the same size clothes and while I carry a bit more weight on the scale, I'm also 8 inches taller than her. She was happy though and I'll grant her that happiness. The numbers don't mean as much to me as they do her, not that they don't mean something but she has NEVER been the smaller one. My ego can take it, she is supposed to be the smaller, look at her frame/height and everything else!

It never ceases to amaze me how much people are screwed up by their families' behaviors, unthinking/stupid comments, own obsessions with food and weight and general lack of support. I know women who obsess and talk about food all the time, their unhealthy attitudes will transfer to the next generation of girls. It just makes me nuts to see my daughter's friends, who run between 7 and 12, on diets and worried about fat content. Of course, Molly doesn't seem to realize that there is such a thing as fat, she eats what is on hand. I'm hoping that our influence will be the one she looks to, not her friends who collectively have some pretty screwed up role models. The biggest thing is, we as adults should all take responsibility to watch out for the children we know (even ones who don't belong to us). My years of unhealthy living could have been prevented and intervention done if someone, anyone, had questioned why a 8 year old girl went from a size 7 girls clothes to a size 9 womens in under three months. I was screaming for help the only way I could. Now, I'm fighting for weight normalcy as a result.

And Judie, now that I've gone so far off topic while still being in it let me say that I think you handled it beautifully. Don't forget, you will also have residual stress until you get your scores that may influence your abilities for a bit. I know that during exams I was weaker because my mind/body relationship was thrown out of wack. Give yourself time to get strong again and give yourself some much needed tender treatment! You so deserve it!

~K~

~Kiervin~

Co-author of:  MONSTER'S INK HORROR ANTHOLOGY By Cyber-Pulp Press

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 1:02am
You deserve more than a pat on your back for all you've overcome in your life. It's great that you've accomplished all you have, especially in the past few years with the beautiful kids, college degree (and possibly being valedictorian--even just being considered is a major accomplishment!), new outlook on being healthy, etc.

I can relate to what you said about your mom living in her glory days. My mom constantly tells us how she had a 21" waist until she had us kids. LOL, that's something my kids will never hear! I don't know when I last had a 21" waist!






iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2002
Mon, 04-21-2003 - 10:34am
Hey, I agree with Jean! You've had an incredible personal journey and are doing some amazing things with yourself! Food becomes a panacea (did I use that right?) for some people, which should be more telling than it is--it's not pure gluttony, at times it's self-medication. As a kid there's no way to know how to deal other than probably the way you did, but I agree that's where we, as adults, fit in to try to help everybody be healthy. My twin sister's daughter seems to have her auntie's appetite (she eats everything she can get her little 14 month old hands on), and instead of horrifying my "I just wasn't hungry" sister, she thinks it's perfectly healthy (whew).

I'm bouncing back from the exam, I'm sleeping better, eating LESS because I'm hungry less, and I'm just more relaxed without all that freaky stress! And the exercise...it just feels GOOD.

Thanks for sharing your life with us, group therapy for one and all! ;)

Judie

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Avatar for soleilune
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-22-2003 - 5:21pm
Good news, Judie. When it comes to muscle development at least, it takes a third of time the to regain what you lost (provided you follow the essentially same workout plan as previously).

You probably don't look as bad as you seem to think. You felt so strong you expected to see it reflected in the mirror. When the sight wasn't you expected that nasty little realization probably caused you to have a dimmer view of things than the reality.

Don't forget about fluid retention. I'm fairly lean myself, albeit rather well padded around the hips & upper thighs, but I can easily put 3-5lbs. of water weight on in days & end up looking spongey & much heavier. So remember to drink a bazillion gallons of water every day & try to keep your consumption of sodium, caffiene & alcohol to a minimum.

I'm so proud of you for going home & eating right instead of drowning your disappointment in comfort food. Good for you! You deserve a pat on the back.

W/ your intend prep for the bike tour, I think you'll be back to where you left off in just a few weeks.

Good luck, take care & hang in there.

Soleilune

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