Wednesday Journal

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wednesday Journal
12
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 8:16am

What are you all up to?






Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 8:38am
I am supposed to go to a lunch with the gym rat ladies but I am really REALLY REALLY REALLY scared. I have been crying all morning. Help.




Lilypie First Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 8:51am
Can you tell us more?

Jean,






iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 8:59am
I have slight social anxiety, so I basically freak out if I don't know anyone. Well I will know a couple of people but they are really popular people around the gym so it's not likely they will talk to me anyways. So I'll look very awkward and will have to try to make conversation with people I don't know and the thought of that is making me very sick.




Lilypie First Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 9:16am
I hate doing that, too.





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 10:47am

people are just as afraid of you as you are of them. i swear. everyone is scared that people won't like them or that they won't be a part of a group. i bet at least one of those other women is just as nervous about talking to you as you are to talk to them. i used to have social anxiety but no one ever believed that i do because i fake it so well. people who don't know me well always think i'm very outgoing. there are many people like this.


here's my main trick - compliment people on something or other (find genuine compliments, don't make stuff up you don't believe) and then ask them open-ended questions (but non-nosy) about themselves. ask them what they are doing for the holidays, if they are making new year's resolutions, ask follow up questions depending on what they say... people LOVE to talk about themselves and you won't have to do as much "work." you will be the life of the party, everyone will think you are delightful.


i hate doing all the work. i'm one of the few people who likes to socialize with people who are self-obsessed because they will go on and on about themselves all day and i can just sit there and nod once in a while and don't have to try to be social.


now i just don't care what other people think so i don't get so anxious. i've recommended this before, but i'll say it again - what changed for me on this issue was doing the Landmark Forum. you do an exercise in that course that will change your life in terms of social anxiety. i tell people it's worth doing the 3 day course just for that one 5 minute exercise alone. of course there are many other

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 11:03am

this morning we have my office christmas party - lunch at a local restaurant. hopefully i'll find something to eat that fits my aloha resolution. then it's an afternoon of fitness, since we don't have to go back to work after the party. i'm going to go to the gym and lift weights and do an hour of cardio, then shower and head over to the yoga studio for a make-up pilates class.


food- coffee, clementines


lunch? i think they have a roasted portobello mushroom with other veggies and greens.


snack - smoothie, almond butter smacker


dinner - red beans and rice & sauteed onions and mixed bell peppers

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 1:52pm

OMG, that's me! I go on and on and on and don't notice until after the conversation is over that I was the only one talking!






iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 2:24pm
well, we do get along well.... JUST KIDDING - you aren't self-absorbed, you are just talkative! talkative but non-self-asorbed is the bestest kind of person to talk to, but when someone like you isn't around and i have to get through a social event, i'll settle for plain old self-absorbed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 2:49pm
What are you--in disguise?





iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2003
Wed, 12-15-2004 - 3:12pm

I did step and legs this morning. I am teaching kickboxing tonight.

breakfast-maple pecan cereal
lunch-grilled cheese on ww
snack-i'm making cookies
dinner-country pie

Paula

Pages