My bootstraps broke

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
My bootstraps broke
18
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 9:05am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 9:42am

ok, this is going to sound harsh, but i don't mean it as a criticism, i mean it as a wake up call because i care about you. disclaimer over...


7 pounds lost in a month is a GOOD amount of weight loss. you do not have a hump to get over. THERE IS NO HUMP. you are perfectly on track. 8 months is absolutely positively NOT a long amount of time to lose 35 pounds. it might seem like a long time when you are anxious to lose it, but it is NOT a long time.


people who are very overfat are going to lose weight much much faster than someone nearing her goal. that's just the way it is. what you are experiencing is absolutely correct and normal and the way it should be. the problem here is not with your body but with your brain. if you know logically that this is to be expected, why are you trying to figure out how to increase the speed of your weight loss? it is to be expected, and it is the way it should be, so there is nothing for you to try to do to overcome it. the impulse to lose faster

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 9:58am

I am not looking for anyone to say, Oh poor her, because she only lost 7#s. I worked damn hard to get those 7#s off like I have for the 108 I have lost.


I am looking for advice of things to possibly change. I am new to this whole gym thing, unlike many of you who have been at this for years, I am just starting out and don't want to loose my motivation.


I don't think I am obssessed with anything, I think I am concerned about falling back into my old habits and am looking for some things to try and keep me on track and focused.



Rainbow

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 10:21am

Nope, you're obsessing. I understand why, and I sympathize, but you are crossing the mental line pretty far here and are too emotionally wrapped up to realize it. Jen's feedback is right on.

One question you need to ask yourself when you think 8 months is too long and you cannot keep on trying is how long did it take you to get fat? Was it one year? One year and eight months? You are asking to change a lifetime of bad habits and its effects in one year and a couple of months? And you're upset it isn't happening?

How many times a day are you weighing yourself? STOP! See, I mentioned before why WW bothers me, this is what I keep seeing with folks on their program. Once a week. While weight loss is your ultimate goal you've lost focus of the little things you are succeeding at because of the almighty scale. Take back control of this process. Stop stepping on the scale except at weigh in.

You know what a self fulfilling prophecy is? It is when you tell yourself something is going to happen and it does, because you convince yourself and make it happen. You are an inch from sabotaging yourself here. Not even an inch at this point. You've turned negative and whiney and it looks to me like you've made the excuses and set the stage for quitting. Do you want to fail? You will if you don't change your attitude. Seven pounds a month is a healthy loss, actually it is bordering on too much loss if you wish to maintain it. Get over this obsession with the scale and set some different goals. I'll even give you one, "I PROMISE TO FIND A POSITIVE THING ABOUT THIS PROCESS THAT IS NOT LINKED TO THE SCALE OR WHAT SIZE I WEAR..."

Harsh? Be glad I don't know you well, I can be downright cruel:)

~Kiervin~

Co-author of:  MONSTER'S INK HORROR ANTHOLOGY By Cyber-Pulp Press

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 10:42am

I weigh myself three times a week. Once during the weekend, once mid week and at my weigh in.


I can see if I try to defend my thoughts it is not going to work. I am struggling and admitting to it. Perhaps in the wrong venue so I apologize for the post.


I don't have mental issues I have a weight problem. Which I am sure sometimes go hand in hand. I am just driven to make this happen and am looking for alternatives, I have many reasons for losing weight, one of them is to become a mother. A DOCTOR told me I need to be a certain weight to even attempt this so me obsessing about the # may seem "whiney" and "negative" to you but it is pretty important to me.


I can't be the only person who has been doing this who has either fallen off the wagon, or has wanted to quit.


I am glad you and Jen are comfortable with your weight loss, or workout programs. I commend you both for doing what you do.


But as I said I am new to this, and am looking for alternatives.


There would be no need to be cruel to me. I have feelings like everyone else, forgive me for using your board as a place to vent.



Rainbow

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 11:12am

No, you aren't the only one who has fallen off or been tempted to fall off the wagon. I lost sight of the wagon several months ago. What I'm trying to tell you is I HAVE BEEN THERE and I know what is and is not productive because of that. Negative thoughts and feelings because it isn't going fast enough will sabotage you faster than anything else.

My intent was not to accuse you of having mental problems, nor did I. My intent was to tell you that you are on track and this hump you think you are on is a mental hump. You are losing at a healthy rate--physically you are on track. Your wanting to shake things up and change them to speed up loss is a normal part of the mental aspect of this process.

There are three elements to successful weight loss. Diet, which WW does very well. Exercise, which YOU are doing very well-though WW historically doesn't. And emotional/mental which is where most of us, including myself trip up. I'm telling you that you are close to tripping here, not because there is something wrong with you, but because you are human.

Let me share with you why I fell off the wagon and gained back all my weight. I lost sight intellectually and emotionally. I could not handle personal and professional stress and felt like a failure in those areas so I quit trying in all aspects of my life. I failed. I'm not going to go eat a bag of oreos and say, "see I just couldn't do it". I'm going to change one thing at a time until I'm back on track and remember the lesson I learned from it.

You are veering off track because you aren't balancing what you know against what you feel. It is ok to feel like it is taking a long time. It is not ok to react in a way that undermines the hard work you've already done. THAT is what both jen and I are trying to tell you. You have to power to make the right or wrong choice here. You have the power to hear what we are saying and find the positives in how far you've come and what you are doing. Or, you have to power to go binge and say it was going too slow and we weren't understanding and it isn't your fault. This Ms. Jodi is the mental/emotional part of the triad. This is the part where I failed and wish someone had been a bit harsh with me. I hope you are smarter than I was.

~K~

~Kiervin~

Co-author of:  MONSTER'S INK HORROR ANTHOLOGY By Cyber-Pulp Press

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 11:22am

i'm sorry you think we are being cruel, but we are not. we are trying to help you. i'm sure you feel defensive and it's hard to see this, but i promise it's true. this is not the wrong venue for your post, it's absolutely the right venue, but you just don't like the advice we are giving.


you are not hearing the facts, which are, among other things:


*it's not a matter of whether you are "comfortable" with losing 7 lbs a month or not. whether you like it or not, that is a physically good amount to lose - ask any doctor. losing more would probably be unhealthy. it doesn't matter whether you or i are comfortable about that - that is a physical fact. so you need to BECOME comfortable with it.


*you have not fallen off the wagon,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 11:24am

Thanks.


I will make the right choice, I have to. I want to be a mom, and I know what I need to do.


I just have to take what comes this evening at weigh in and push forward.


I am not going to kill myself at the gym this weekend because I will be out of town and I want to enjoy myself. So I am going to go stay active, and enjoy myself and try to stay sensible. I am planning one cheat. Saturday night a meal out with the man, I am going to enjoy it and not feel guilty about it.


Tonight I may even do something I normally don't by having fast food or something out of the norm, I will have 16pts for the rest of the day, staying within my points but it will still feel like a treat.


Thank you for the advice.



Rainbow

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 11:24am
very well said, thanks kiervin.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 11:27am
that sounds like a great plan!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 11:40am

Thank You for letting me talk it out Jen.


It is just one of those days all the way around. I know I can do this, I just need to push through this. Plan for things I know I like to eat and save my points and feel like I am not "missing" out.


Some days this whole process gets overwhelming.



Rainbow

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