Don't Hate Me Because I'm Thin

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2003
Don't Hate Me Because I'm Thin
26
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 9:57am

Hopefully, some of you ladies might understand why this bothers me.

I post to the 20-something board (seeing as how I'm 24) very regularly. And quite frequently, there are discussions about weight/looks/exercise/eating right, etc. And it seems as though there are many chunky/overweight girls who post for advice on how to eat right, etc. BUT as soon as someone says something that implies that they might need to cut back bad habits, etc, they get all defensive and go off on a tirade about how "I Love my size 16 body (even though I'm 5'4") and I want to see "real" women in the media". Granted, there are some stars who are way too thin, and obviously that is not healthy. But it REALLY irks me to hear those girls make derogatory comments about thin/in shape people in general- calling me "stick-thin", etc. Last time I checked, I was a "real" woman, even though I'm small. I cannot help that my bone structure makes me a size 0. But if I stopped exercising altogether and ate half the crap these women do, I'd get fat too! My dad, whose side I take after, was fat for several years when he was younger. But I inherited my frame from him- when he met my mom, he was a size 32. And he was healthy. And I am healthy too- I have never once had a doctor tell me I was unhealthy or too thin.

Why is it that people cannot make this distinction between anorexic supermodels and those of us who take care of ourselves? I don't want to have to feel guilty for not continually keeping a box of cookies in my cabinet or not liking fast food all that much. I feel like people are just too lazy- and it's not like most of these girls are so obese that it can be blamed on genetics. Thoughts? Comments?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 12:33pm
What determines the point that someone spends too much time on her appearance that makes you feel sad for her and the time she spends? I think so much of it is a spectrum anyway where you think you do the right thing and people who do more do too much.





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 12:58pm

i agree, it's totally arbitrary. even if a lot of us agree at some point in the spectrum (for instance, a lot of us would agree that it's not worth it to spend 8 hours a day in the gym just to look better) it's still just based on our personal preferences and there will always be someone who disagrees. and more often than not, i'm the one who is outside the norm as to what is worth it or not worth it in any given situation.


BUT, the fact that you, Jean,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 1:55pm
Yeah, but some people really don't have control over what they put in their bodies.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 2:56pm
Sorry, I should have said I was wondering for myself, too, because I do the same with others.





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 3:07pm

Interesting point--I was talking to my sister about a conversation she had with her doctor friend.






iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 4:27pm

The older you get the more you will learn not to let ignorant people bother you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 5:39pm

I've never been thin and I don't hate those who are-I envy their genetics and ability to make good food and lifestyle decisions

~Kiervin~

Co-author of:  MONSTER'S INK HORROR ANTHOLOGY By Cyber-Pulp Press

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2003
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 5:50pm

I'm just responding to this without reading the rest of the posts, but here goes:

In your case, it's a different thing. When you have an honest-to-god weight problem, I can understand how hard it must be to deal with everything. But MOST of these girls do NOT have this problem. They just don't take care of themselves and could probably stand to lose 20 pounds. And I find it very frustrating to listen to them complain about how "fat" they feel, and then turn around and rail on people who live a healthy lifestyle. Does that make sense?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 6:28pm

Yes, the hippocritical thing gets old regardless...

But aside from a weight difference, I didn't *really* take care of myself either. Not taking care of yourself is not taking care of yourself regardless of whether you're 20 lbs or 200 lbs overweight.

I absolutely understand what you're saying about being frustrated. It would frustrate me too. In fact, it does frustrate me a little with clients who exhibit similar behavior. I feel ya. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2003
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 9:13pm
Just to be clear, I don't stay in shape to look like a super-model. First off, I'm way too short and will never be mistaken for one. Secondly, although I'm considered pretty by some, I'm nowhere near as ridiculously gorgeous as those women. I stay in shape and stay healthy because it feels good. Just like the rest of you.