Ugh the Attitude!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2006
Ugh the Attitude!
10
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 10:56am

Phillip is driving me mad with the attitude. Nothing I say is right everything is wrong and I won't let him do anything. Then he turns all sugary when he wants something but if he doesn't get his way it's back to the attitude. Does anyone else get the "you don't love me"? I haven't posted in awhile I've been lurking but I really feel at home here it seems like most of you go though some of the same things I go through.


Let me also add I'm so glad he & Sarah (5) have started school they have been so board they have been fighting and it seems like their favorite pastime is aggravating the snot out of me.


Thanks for letting me get this out.


Avatar for nodinero
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 11:20am

I can honestly say we have just gotten over that stage. Matthew was so adament about the "you don't love me, you love Brandon more". I had a hard time having sympathy after a while because he only used that line when he wasn't getting his way. He had some serious attitude as well. His dad and I were "too old" to know anything, he was so embarassed of us everywhere we went, he was always picking fights with Brandon and he was just plain miserable to be around. Other times, he would cuddle with me, want to talk, joke and laugh and get along with his brother just fine. I felt like I was always walking on egg shells around him, and I never knew when he would be upset. I don't know what happened, but he's finally over that. Once in a while he will have a slight attitude but I'm able to ignore that and move on.


In the moment though, we would ignore as much as we could. When he was in trouble for something and he gave me the "you don't love me" line, I would try my best to stay focused on the issue and if he didn't want to talk about the issue at hand, I would just walk away. That took some practice on my part though, because at first I fell into guilt mode and really thought he was feeling unloved, then I would get caught up in the arguing and had to stop a couple of times and ask myself why I was arguing with an 11 year old. The fighting with his sibling thing has always been there, and if it ever moves beyond the usual annoying arguing, I make them both take a time out and write each other a letter about how much they care about one another...LOL! They hate having to do that when they are upset! Just know that you aren't alone! Welcome back to the board!

 

 

         Sylvia-Pet-Sig.jpg

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2006
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 11:44am

Thank you Sylvia I appreciate the welcome back. Phillip will turn 11 on Sept 13 so I hope he is like Matthew and will be out of it soon. I tell my DH it is normal but it is hard to tell myself that when I'm involved in the argument. I will try to stay focused on the issues like you said you try to do I think that would help too. I also get caught up in the augument and get dragged into other things. I really need to work on my skills in that area I feel like I fuel it sometimes because I respond to it.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 12:27pm
ugh the fun part of kids...we were over that then zack got the attitude back again..its been off and on since he hit puberty...it drives me nuts but i just send him to his room when it gets to that point..that rate we can cool off and then talk about it...big hugss to you and i hope that soon it ends for you guys!!
Dawnie806.jpg

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 2:01pm

This happened a couple of weeks ago for us. She came back from her fathers and just had attitude coming out the wazoo. And its not like he lets her get away with things. After a few days of every comment being said in a condescending tone or being angry because I didn't know she's hurt herself outside (before she got home, my ESP was failing) I had a little "talk" with her one night after she was in bed. I told her I don't appreciate being treated that way, I am willing to help her deal with anything, any problems, she can tell me about it and we'll try and fix it BUT I'm not psychic and if you continue to treat me that way I will simply walk away and refuse to respond.


It seemed to do the trick. She got teary eyed and things improved alot. Now she's home from her Dad's again and I'm wondering if it will happen again. SHe was hungry today and I know if she's hungry or tired she becomes a demon child. But I try to let things slide a bit when I know there are circumstances. But I find it really comes and goes. She will be snotty as heck for a couple of weeks, then good for a couple of months, then has another bout of it. But I either try to ignore the small store or have the "talk". Sometimes they just need a quiet moment where their behaviour is brought to their attention. They really don't notice their attitude.


I haven't had the "you don't love me" in serious. She does say it when she's being silly and joking around, but not in anger ... yet. I'm sure the day will come. She's an only so I have avoided the "you love X better than me". LOL


Hang in there and hopefully this will pass and he'll be back to "normal" soon.

Photobucket  

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 2:33pm

Hi Michelle, glad you joined us!


Oh the Attitude!


Powered by CGISpy.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2006
Thu, 08-31-2006 - 2:14pm

Thank you all for your examples & kind words. Yesterday was fun the minute he got off the bus he started in. We inquired about a dog at an animal shelter but it was already adopted so that put him in a bad mood right off so he got sent to his room 4 times yesterday all before 7:00. I feel better knowing that you all go through some degree of this too. I hope I can catch myself and not get dragged into it more because it is never pretty.


Thanks again.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Thu, 08-31-2006 - 2:22pm

Hi Michelle,


I deal with "silent" attitude. Isaiah is a lot like his dad in that he's an introvert so he doesn't "say" much with his mouth but his slowfulness speaks VOLUMES!! It irritates me to no end.....when he moves around like he has molasses up his you know what, roll his eyes, mutters under his breath- he gets sent straight to his room! I don't tolerate it. Its annoying and sometimes it hurts my feelings. I try not to take it personal, per se....I remember being a kid and whatnot but it still grates my nerves to no end.


As my granny always tells me "This too shall pass"......not soon enough though, huh?


{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}






Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting



40000-post-pink.gif


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2006
Thu, 08-31-2006 - 2:31pm

Oh I forgot about the silent treatment, muttering under his breath

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Thu, 08-31-2006 - 2:37pm
Isaiah

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2006
Thu, 08-31-2006 - 3:01pm

It makes my DH mad too he glares at me everytime I say something like that. Sometimes it feels good to rub it in so DH will know he does it to me too.