Tuesday Hot Topic--"Too Old To Be A Mom"
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| Tue, 09-12-2006 - 7:49am |
Medical advances have made it possible for women to have babies into their 50s and 60s; at the same age many women become grandmas or great-grandmas. While most fertility clinics will not help women over the age of 50 to conceive, last year a 66-year-old Romanian woman who underwent in vitro fertilization gave birth to a healthy daughter, earning the distinction of becoming the world's oldest mother.
Do you think that a woman should always have the right to decide whether she's ready to face the challenges of motherhood, no matter how old she is? Should doctors always assist women in becoming pregnant, regardless of their age? Or do you think doctors and society have the right to just say no because of the potential risks and costs? How old is really too old to become a mother?

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THe way your post formatted is just too weird!
I DO think there's a "too old" age to be a mom.
What a great question Laura!
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Interesting topic!
I have to agree with you Cathi.
I have been following this "Hot Topic" on the boards, and I find it amusing, because it is counter to my own experience. In Massachusetts women marry later than in most states. Women in my social class attend college after high school, and then start a career, go to grad school, travel or combination of the above. If someone gets pregnant in the teens or early twenties, you might never hear of it. High school pregnancies (that we knew about) were rare.
When I married in my late twenties, I was among the first of my friends to marry. I had my first child just before my thirtieth birthday, and only had two friends with children. Most of my friends were well into their thirties before they had their first child. In the town I live in it is not unusual for me to see women have their first child over the age of forty.
So as far as I am concerned, if a woman can safely give birth at age 60, she should go for it. While she may not have the energy of a 20 year old mother, she will more likely have the financial assets to care for the child.
Well, I'm probably biased on this particular subject since I had my first kid at 20 and my second kid at 23. I would have to say that I love being a young mom with the exception of the "older" mom's looking at me like I'm not as good as they think they are. I have all the energy needed to physically play with two boys, keep up with all their interests and I think that I'm more laid back than some of the older mom's who tend to be more conservative about parenting. In a lot of ways I've grown up with my boys but I've never felt that they were deprived of proper care and love in any way. I like that my body pretty much bounced right back and I was able to stay fit and trim after having two boys. That may not be from being a young mom but I think it helped. I like that the chances of my boys having any kind of birth defects were slim to none because I was so young. The best part about being a young mom is, when the boys are grown and go off to college or to begin their adult life, I'll be in my early 40's and ready to start things for myself. Dh will be in his 50's but we both will still be young enough to travel, learn new stuff about ourselves and we'll be financially stable to do that plus contribute to our boys futures. I may be way off, but it seems to me that we get more tired and slow down as we get older because it's time to relax and enjoy life without all the hassles that parenting and careers cause.
For those that choose to be mother's at an older age, all the power to ya! It's just not for me!
These are personal decisions. A big part of this decision is knowing who you are, and what you want out of life. Being married or a mother in my early twenties was the LAST thing I wanted. Even after I got married I had no interest in having children right away.
"I like that my body pretty much bounced right back and I was able to stay fit and trim after having two boys. That may not be from being a young mom but I think it helped."
I think it has more to do with the body type and personality of the mother. There are twenty year olds that have a hard time recovering from child birth, while at 35 I was back in my size 4 jeans in about three weeks.
"The best part about being a young mom is, when the boys are grown and go off to college or to begin their adult life, I'll be in my early 40's and ready to start things for myself. Dh will be in his 50's but we both will still be young enough to travel, learn new stuff about ourselves and we'll be financially stable to do that plus contribute to our boys futures. I may be way off, but it seems to me that we get more tired and slow down as we get older because it's time to relax and enjoy life without all the hassles that parenting and careers cause. "
Being a young mother is more likely to work out for a woman who has no interest in pursuing a career or advanced degrees. At age forty a lot of doors have already closed if the ground work hasn't already been done.
By the way, I am over 40, and I have no need to slow down and relax. I think I have just as much energy as I did when I was 20.
I don't have a problem with women in their 40's having babies. Its not for me, but if that's what works for you great. I have a problem with women in their 60's and men in their 80's having kids. And I don't care how much money you leave behind to have guardians raise your child, it can't replace a parent (or two).
"Being a young mother is more likely to work out for a woman who has no interest in pursuing a career or advanced degrees. At age forty a lot of doors have already closed if the ground work hasn't already been done."
I'm not sure that I agree, at least for women who dont' compartmentalize (by this I mean focus only on one area in their life at a time: education, career, family).
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"I'm not sure that I agree, at least for women who dont' compartmentalize (by this I mean focus only on one area in their life at a time: education, career, family). "
That is very true. While some women can do this amazingly well (I have two friends that come to mind) other's can't. I was able to do this pretty well until we discovered that my so had some issues, and then I no longer had the emotional energy (or time) to do everything at once.
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