Foul language & tweens/teens
Find a Conversation
Foul language & tweens/teens
| Tue, 09-19-2006 - 10:59am |
Last night was a PTSA night at Quinn's school. In addition to the PTSA meeting, they had club info, sport info & the book fair was open.
While we were there, Quinn & I were talking to one of his friends & his mom in front of the table where they were selling school apparel. This little guy came walking up with his parents. They were looking over the clothes. The kid was looking for his size in a sweatshirt & they didn't have it on the table. He said out loud "They don't have a damn large." The lady that was working at the table got him one out of a box that was under the table. Then we saw them again in the library where the book fair was. They ended up being in front of us when we were standing in line to pay. The mother asked if there was anything else that he wanted to do. He replied "No. I'm ready to get the hell out of here."
Now...I have to confess that I do cuss (never say 'GD' though) occasionally. Especially if I am mad or frustrated. Also, I am one of those "don't sweat the small stuff" moms. But I was surprised that this kid (I think he was a 7th grader, but Quinn doesn't know him) was allowed to say 'damn' & 'hell'. The most foul things that Quinn says are 'fart', 'crap' & 'pissed off'. He doesn't say 'ain't', nor is he allowed to. (I don't either. It makes my skin crawl!)
A couple of years ago, I caught a report on 20/20 about kids talking foul & cussing. John Stossel said that his 2 daughters cussed. (I believe that he said he had 2 daughters. I cannot remember how old they were but it seems like I had the idea that they were in early elementary school.) He said that he thought there were more important things to be concerned about that cussing.
Where do you stand on foul language/cussing & you tween/teen?
While we were there, Quinn & I were talking to one of his friends & his mom in front of the table where they were selling school apparel. This little guy came walking up with his parents. They were looking over the clothes. The kid was looking for his size in a sweatshirt & they didn't have it on the table. He said out loud "They don't have a damn large." The lady that was working at the table got him one out of a box that was under the table. Then we saw them again in the library where the book fair was. They ended up being in front of us when we were standing in line to pay. The mother asked if there was anything else that he wanted to do. He replied "No. I'm ready to get the hell out of here."
Now...I have to confess that I do cuss (never say 'GD' though) occasionally. Especially if I am mad or frustrated. Also, I am one of those "don't sweat the small stuff" moms. But I was surprised that this kid (I think he was a 7th grader, but Quinn doesn't know him) was allowed to say 'damn' & 'hell'. The most foul things that Quinn says are 'fart', 'crap' & 'pissed off'. He doesn't say 'ain't', nor is he allowed to. (I don't either. It makes my skin crawl!)
A couple of years ago, I caught a report on 20/20 about kids talking foul & cussing. John Stossel said that his 2 daughters cussed. (I believe that he said he had 2 daughters. I cannot remember how old they were but it seems like I had the idea that they were in early elementary school.) He said that he thought there were more important things to be concerned about that cussing.
Where do you stand on foul language/cussing & you tween/teen?

Pages
I personally can't stand it. I know I cuss but I am trying to work on it but I don't think it is appropriate for kids of any age. I have put a bar of soap in Phillip's mouth before, he hasn't said that word again either. I am also a "don't sweat the small stuff mom" but I don't consider that a small thing.
Funny you asked this today, last night the new neighbors came over & played, twin boys that just turned 12 and they were talking about Hooters ( restaurant)
I don't like cussing either. I used to use some "bad" language before I had kids but I really tried hard not to do it around them and now I rarely say anything. (Unless I really get mad, I guess.)
I don't like to hear kids cuss. It makes them seem, I don't know, like uneducated or something. Also bad grammar--like ain't and saying "them kids". Drives me crazy. It makes a bad impression, I think.
So this boy was cussing in front of his parents???? I can see the whole "cussing to be cool in front of your friends" thing, but to do it front of your parents--yikes.
I detest cursing and I particularly dislike it coming out of children's mouths.
Ramona Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!
I would be very upset if my DD talked that way. There is just no need for it. You can say "they don't have any large" without adding the damn in there. It is rude and crude and not required in public. Now if she is getting frustrated with the computer and were to say "this damn thing isn't working" or stubs her toe and shouts out a swear word I would let it go. But there is no need for swearing on a common basis. She has never sworn in front of me except perhaps for the odd explamation and even then NEVER the F-word. I do use it but I try try try to never say that in front of her. She may very well swear when with friends outside or not around adults but I have listened to her playing with friends in our home and never overheard anything. I know that most of the kids on our street would also be in big trouble if they were caught swearing much, so I suppose since we all have the same attitude the kids all pick up on it.
I agree, you don't need to jump on every transgression and as they grow they will try things out and occassionally push the boundaries to see what they can get away with, but I don't think its something you just let slide either. Should we just let them eat with their hands, be rude to guests and never bathe because we can't be bothered or we're saving up for the "big stuff"? I don't think so. Not swearing in public (or using it judiciously) is a manners thing. Many people are offended by swearing and I think its polite to avoid doing so when you can and that included adults AND kids.
So while I wouldn't have said anything, I certainly would have been a bit dismayed that a child would talk to their parents that way. I still have trouble swearing in front of my parents. It just seems "wrong".
We actually were discussing that last night, I can't remember why, but I know that honestly I thought it was hypocritical because DH mentioned to Jordyn that when people cuss all the time that means that they tend to at least appear ingnorant because they don't have anything better to say than to swear, however, if the kids are not in the house or around, he says "da**" every other word which drives me nuts.
Anyway, Jordyn mentioned that so many kids at her school swear quite often, but that she doesn't. I have never heard her swear, I will very rarely, when I get really upset or something, but I do try to keep it to a minimum. We don't have a rule per se, but I would be upset if she all of a sudden started swearing, and if she did it at this age and in public, she would be in a lot of trouble. We just encourage that they are smarter ways of saying things that get your point across without having to resort to swearing.
We don't allow the boys to use bad words but if one slips out it's not a reason for punishment or anything. My policy on swearing is, I try my hardest not to do it and when I have a moment that a word slips out I actually do feel weird saying it in front of the boys. They have heard those words tons of times, but I made it
WOW, I would have given that little smart mouth and his parents a nasty look!
In our home, "cuss" words are not allowed by my tween.
Powered by CGISpy.com
Swearing isn't small stuff and it's not a privilege that comes with age. It's just something I think we should all try not to do.
If I drop a glass on my foot or something and say a rude word, I try to apologize to whoever heard me as soon as I remember. If one of my kids is really angry and uses foul language, I wait til the anger passes and then remind them that there are more creative ways to express anger that are less damaging.
Just because the whole world does it doesn't mean it's a small, insignificant thing. The Bible, which I take as my operator's manual, has a lot to say about what comes out of our mouths and I try to follow it as much as I can. Of course, I mess up (and sometimes, because I am a willful human being, I deliberately *choose* to use rude language), but I know this is not the way God would like me to live.
Pages