OT- Others stress

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
OT- Others stress
3
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 3:12pm
Hi,
I just need to vent for a minute if you don't mind. I am getting to the point where i don't want to answer my phone anymore. My sister has suffered with severe depression and panic attacks since she was 7 years old. She is having a really rough time right now with depression and anxiety.
My friend is recovering from breast cancer, she kicked her DH out three weeks ago, her meds have sent her into instant menopause and she is also severely depressed.
My brother is the same as my sister and he is going thru a hard time b/c he has been offered two new jobs and his boss is pressuring him to stay where he is.
My Grandmother is driving my mother crazy so mom calls me to air out how she is feeling. My Grandmother is not a very nice person. She constantly talks about my mom's only sibling who died 51 years ago. She still compares the two of them all the time.
I feel like a bad sister, daughter and friend b/c sometimes i want to talk about happy stuff and i feel bad if i have good news. I don't feel like i can share it with anyone.
Sometimes i want to say "Stop it, you are in charge of your life, you decide how you feel. Stop letting others make you feel bad about yourself, make a decision and good or bad go with it and snap out of your pity parade." I know that is a really lousy way to feel and i would never do it but somedays i want to.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Kelly
Avatar for bradleyteach
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2001
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 5:41pm

Hugs Kelly, yup, sometimes I've found that I have avoided people in my life because I just didn't want to hear the drama anymore.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 6:33pm

You're not a bad person. The relationship is unhealthy when you can't share your successes with these people. Yes they are depressed or have medical issues, but that doesn't mean you just have to take it all and basically be their whining post. A person can only take so much of being complained to. You are not a therapist, you're not trained in that. Maybe next time you could suggest since things seem so bad they should think about seeing someone professionally because you are really at a loss as to how to help them. You should not have to be walking on eggshells around them.


Venting always helps too, so know we're hear to listen.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 6:52pm

(((Kelly))) come on over and vent any time. It's good for the soul.


I had a really good friend that every time we got together it was drama, drama, drama. I just couldn't take it anymore. Now I get together with her like once or twice a year. Our DH's go on a fishing trip once a year too. I can't just right her off. I don't hate her either. I just don't want to listen to the drama.


Kelly, don't answer the phone, tell them you have to go if they start complaining or whatever. You'll go crazy other wise.

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