Wednesday Wondering........

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Registered: 09-26-2003
Wednesday Wondering........
16
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 8:55am

At what age will dating be allowed in your house? What kind of rules and standards will be set?
(I know for some this is a long way off, however you have to have something in your mind as a guideline, so share that)


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Avatar for cathiann
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 10:06am

I was allowed to group date in 7th grade (13).

Surviving Middle & High School
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 10:13am

Well this is a hot topic lol.

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Avatar for bradleyteach
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Registered: 06-29-2001
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 10:41am

Dh and I have not set an exact age yet.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 10:50am

I don't really have a set age in my head, I think a lot will depend on the maturity of the child and the friend's they have at the time.

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Registered: 12-28-2004
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 11:03am

Good question.

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Registered: 03-02-2006
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 11:48am

BIG HOT TOPIC in our house, can you say double standards! I think Phillip should wait until at least 16 or 17 for actual by himself dating. DH feels he can a little sooner but he says the girls can't date until they are 30. I feel at least 17. I was 17 when I started dating. But I really think it will depend on their maturity and

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2006
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 12:41pm

I was allowed to date at 13, but they were just visits to each others houses (supervised), occasional movies (supervised) or a walk outdoors (daytime). My son (now almost 16) was interested at about 13 but was only going on group dates and even now he goes in a group or will visit a girl or have her visit here (supervised). My dd (12) is not interested yet but I supposed the same guidelines would apply as far as supervision and going out in groups when the time comes. Of course I am much more nervous about her dating than her brother (yes I suppose thats a double standard). My dh and I joke with each other that she's not allowed to date until after she's MARRIED. lol

Lisa

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Registered: 09-12-2005
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 12:50pm

What a great question! (I know that if Rory had his way, Jamie and Alyssa would never date at all...lol) I would say that 16 is the ideal age to allow dating, but I guess I won't be able to really think about it until I see how mature/immature my children are at 16. As far as rules go, I think that going out in groups before 16 would be okay, but I for sure know that there won't be any sleepovers. My dad lives in Australia, and my stepsister is 16 and her boyfriend is allowed to sleep over. My dad can't stand the idea, and neither can I, but her mom seems to think it's okay.

My Mom and Dad let me start dating at 16. I maintain that's a pretty good age.

Sarah

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 12:51pm

There was never an age given for me to date, but I lived in the country on a farm so it wasn't that easy. To be honest, I never dated until I left home at 18. I went out tons with friends, but perhaps due to my creation story if you will, I was ultra paranoid about dating and ensuring it would never happen to me. So I pretty much had a wall there.


For DD I have no idea. I ask her all the time and she refuses to answer. Hedging her bets I suppose. But I'd say 15 for one-on-one dating, going out in groups before that. But really I know so much will depend on her and her behaviour and the other person. If she's having trouble in school, acting out, the privelages will come much later than if she's a good kid doing well in school. But I just can't see her dating at 13. Its just too young. LOL But I don't have any firm rules, we'll play it by ear because I think when you deal with rules written in stone it simply comes back to bite you in the butt or ties you hands too much.

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 2:06pm

My DD asked me years back, so I had to pick an age. I told her she couldn't go out alone with a boy till she was 16. But since then, I have continued to talk to her about why it would be best, as much as she possibly can, to stick to doing things in groups until she is finished with college. She has no question in her mind - she is college-bound. And I am trying to help her see how boys and pregnancy could put an end to all her current goals and dreams before she can say, "hey, what are you doing?"

And on a similar subject, I feel there needs to be rules about what kind of an age-difference would be allowed in who they date. IMO. When they are 16, do we want our daughters dating 29 year olds? And DD12 already knows I will be setting some equally rigorous rules on who is allowed to operate any vehicle DD rides in... One of her best friends has an older brother who drives, so the rules have already begun.

If she is 16, wants to date a 17 year old boy, his driving habits could be the greatest of the dangers.




Edited 9/27/2006 2:09 pm ET by rosemile

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