My 11 year old is failing grade six!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2006
My 11 year old is failing grade six!!!
7
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 12:27pm
Hi everyone I have never posted here before and I am hoping I can get some advice on the situation with my son. My name is Kelli and I am a single Mom of 3..Travis 11, Austin 10 and Megan 8. I should point out that all of the kids are on a waiting list for counselling due to the break up of my marriage. That being said my most serious concern right now is Travis 11. He is failing his year at this point. He is very direspectful to me at times and in fact downright rude. I know he is angry at his Dad and I even though he says he is fine. However that does not excuse his attitude does it? I am so worried about him. I had a meeting with the teacher last night and she has had enough of his attitude and very poor school work. He does not seem to care. He just seems to act like "Oh well..." and goes on his merry way. he does not bring home homework and at school rushes through things to get it done and does not care about the quality or lack of it. All he cares about is getting it done so he does not have to bring it home. I am at the end of my rope. I know I need to show some tough love here and i am not sure how to handle this. Any advice from some of you who may have dealt with this would be greatly appreciated! I love my son and he is a sweet kid or was but I think he has been invaded by some monster or something. He says everyone is picking on him. Not true. If I don't do something he will fail his year.
Thanks,
Kelli
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 12:36pm
kelli, its nice to meet you.
i know when my daughter had her "father" figure step in and try to take over when she was in the second grade. She got that attitude. I spoke with her and I spoke to the school. It was so hard. What you must be going through. Take a deep breath it does get easier. Have you talked with the school counselor? Is there anything that your child likes to do? Strives for to do? If so there is your key. Use that one thing to get to him. Get him in to talk to a counselor soon. Does he see his father? can he talk to him? Its hard going through this alone yet with a couple of kids also. You are strong, just take a break and breathe. you will figure a way out of this. take care. Welcome to the board. I am a single mother of a 10 yr old girl. so i know how hard this must be for you. Hope you find the answers you are seeking. And while your here, vent away, ask questions and stick around. enjoy.
Avatar for cathiann
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 1:01pm

What does he do at home if he doesn't have any homework?

Surviving Middle & High School
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 9:58pm

First of all big hugs and welcome to teh board!


I really think you need to find a counselor that can get you in NOW and not on a waiting list.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 9:12am

In my opinion, given where his head is at right now, all the punnishment and yelling in the world isn't going to change his attitude.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 3:24pm
Hi Debbi, thank-you for your advice I think I will use a combination of ideas from all of the posts. I should point out that my son is not picked on by other kids. Actually he is a very popular and well liked student, and according to his teacher the other kids are quite easily influenced by my son and the choices he makes. He feels that the adults in his life are picking on him. (Me, the teachers etc..) I really like your suggestion of a date night with the two of us. We used to do that once in a while but have not done much alone together in the last 2 yrs. Thank-you for that idea. Sometimes life gets so hectic and I feel taking the time to be alone with him and find out if I can break through and get to the heart of his problems that would be a start.
Thanks again for your advice, I will keep you posted!
Take care,
Kelli
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2005
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 2:11am

Welcome Kelli!!


Hugs to you and all of your kiddos!

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Avatar for nodinero
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 9:52pm
Hi and welcome to the board. I have two boys, Matthew (11) and Brandon (9). Divorce is so tough on kids. I'm sure your son is holding in a lot of resentment and anger. Children usually think they are the center of the universe and will somehow blame themselves for the breakup. Your son may have so much on his mind, grades are the last thing he cares about right now. I think you have gotten a lot of great advice but I really agree mostly with the ladies who suggested the reward system. He's already got a lot of negative going on right now, he needs something positive. The behavior bucks reward system is one we use in our house. We give our boys fake dollars and let them cash them in for various prizes. We really try and focus on the good behaviors and it

 

 

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