Need honest opinions

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2005
Need honest opinions
10
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 3:11pm
I posted earlier about my scare with my dd walking the dog. My mom called me this morning and was basically giving me you know what about allowing her to walk the dog. My dd is 11. The dog is a 90lb chocolate lab who is very friendly and would be a deterent factor only, not too good for actual defense, I must admit. I felt that it was a safe way for her to feel more independant and the dog needs exercise too. My mom was commenting on the dog being friendly, not protective and on the fact that someone could just mace the dog in the face and then grab her. I'm torn now about what I should do. She doesn't walk the dog everyday, only occasionally when she has time but she wants to walk him more this spring/summer when there is more daylight. I have her stick to busy streets when there would be potential witnesses as an added deterrent. The one street that she walks on has constant traffic, so you couldn't grab a child there without anyone noticing it immediately. I felt that that factor, combined with the dog's presence would make any sexual predator keep searching for an easier victim. I really can't stand the thought that I am constantly second guessing myself but I don't want to put her in a dangerous situation.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2005
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 3:31pm
Oh, I did want to add that the dog DOES have some protective instincts. We have drivers coming in and out of our house. When my hubby is around, he is ok. When I am alone, he will go ballistic if someone knocks on the door. He isn't mean or growling but he will bark louder, deeper and longer. And God forbid that they should knock when my dh and I are downstairs and the girls are upstairs alone. He loses it. I had an insurance salesman in my house when it was just me and the dog wouldn't leave my side the whole time that the guy was here. But I have no idea how he'd react if someone actually attacked one of us or broke into the house. I'd love to get him some kind of training to increase his protective instincts but I have no idea if it would be even possible.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 3:32pm

It's a strange world we live in, isn't it?

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 3:33pm

Ask your mom when the last time someone maced a dog and stole a child? Those kind of things MIGHT happen but there's a much higher odds that one of her teachers will molest her. That doesn't mean you don't send her to school. You have to let them go. If she's never walked around the block by herself when she's 11, what's going to happen when she's 15 and left alone at the mall? She'll be totally incapable of handling the independence which is expected of kids in their teens. You are starting small, she's got the cell (granted next time you just make sure that the volume is turned up properly and its not tucked away in a pocket under mitts where she can't hear it), she's got the dog with her and you know your neighborhood which I am assuming is generally safe.


Much as its hard, you can't keep her in a bubble. Someday she's going to need to walk alone and if you've done a good job of preparing her she'll be fine. It was scary but it wasn't a real threat, try and remember that, she wasn't in any danger, it was just a freaky electronic thing. Deep breath and let her take those first steps of independence.

Photobucket  

Avatar for cathiann
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 3:33pm
I haven't yet read your earlier post, but I have thoughts to offer anyway (don't I always ;-)?)
Surviving Middle & High School
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2005
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 3:39pm
She always takes her cell phone with her and calls me or I call her at least once during the walk. She is out for about 1/2 an hour only and has a prescibed walk which involves going down our street and over to the next one and back to ours and then home but she varies in her choice of cross streets that she can take which we felt was safer than her always walking the same route and therefore becoming predictable to a possible predator.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 3:55pm

Does your family have a 'safeword'? If anyone walked up to your daughter and says you send them to get her, this person should know the family safeword and she should know NOT to go with anyone who doesn't know it. Attatching a small but loud whistle that she can blow if someone approaches her is another thought.

Otherwise it sounds like she's a pretty great kid to take the dog for a walk! If it makes you feel better, maybe a younger sibling can tag along...safety in numbers!

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2006
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 4:59pm

I read your first post and this one.

Madalot

When I insist that I am 'right," I slam the door of my mind.  I remain locked in past

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2005
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 8:23pm
Thanks. That's pretty much what I felt. Obviously, I can't keep her 100% safe but she is getting to the age where she wants more freedom and this seems to be a safe way for her to get it. Ironically, when I was a kid, I ran wild all day, everyday during the summer and my mom never worried about what I was doing, who I was with etc. She always acts like I am over-protective even though I point out that the world has changed so much since I was a kid.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 11:48pm

Honestly----in the world we live in, if we want to protect our children, we need to look them in a padded cell and never let them out!


Powered by CGISpy.com
Avatar for nodinero
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 11:58pm
I say you gotta cut the apron strings at some point. I agree totally with Nancy about trusting your inner voice. If you feel that she's fine walking the dog occasionally, with her cell phone, than let her. Tam is also right on about kids needing to learn to deal with the small things. I doubt very seriously that she will be snatched off the street. It's a proven fact that most kids are hurt, molested and or kidnapped by relatives or someone they know very well. There are creeps that try to lure kids into their cars, but that happens way less than a coach, family member or close friend of the family hurting kids. Just trust your instincts.

 

 

         Sylvia-Pet-Sig.jpg