How old was your dd....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
How old was your dd....
6
Sun, 08-05-2007 - 1:10pm

when she learned about menstruation? My 7 yo dd found out today during fellowship after church!! Not the way I wanted her to find out and I didn't think at 7 I had to worry about it quite yet. She was NOT ready to know this stuff and I was waiting for another year or so to tell her. The sight of blood freaks her out and I was waiting for that to calm down a little. I looked around the room and she wasn't there so I went looking for her. I found her in a classroom with two other older girls (a soon to be 3rd grader and a soon to be 5th grader). As we walked out of church she started asking me questions about it and was obviously upset by the whole thing. I explained things in simple terms and let her questions guide the conversation. I was much more detailed than I expected it to be.

I'm trying to decide whether or not to say anything to the oldest girl's mom. She's the Director of Christian Ed at church and we have a pretty decent relationship. I'm really upset that this girl took it upon herself to say anything about this to my daughter. I wanted to explain the whole process in a positive way when she was ready to hear it - not when I was ready for her to hear it which would probably be never. She's had two head traumas involving alot of blood and just freaks at the thought or sight of it so I wanted to wait to tell her. She knows the basics of sex and that freaks her out too (this is a good thing for now :)). I'm just bummed about the way all of this happened... Guess it's time to find a copy of "The Care And Keeping of You" for us...

Avatar for eatatmoms
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-05-2007 - 1:31pm

I feel like she's always known. She's always been a kid who asked questions and I don't even remember the exact conversation, but I'm sure she found my supplies or heard a commercial or something. Plus, when she was little she'd follow me into the bathroom all the time. In our family it's like the conversation about where babies come from. She was not quite three when her brother was born and she was in the room when he arrived. When I was pregnant with him she'd ask how he got in there, and I just told her.

I'm sure the girls didn't tell your DD to be malicious. My DD thinks of it very matter of factly and it's not a secret, so I don't know that she would ever think of it as being something she shouldn't discuss, you know? i don't think she'd just bring it up, but maybe the older of the girls has her period and it was a topic of conversation when you DD was there.

Melanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-05-2007 - 1:58pm

I guess a year or two ago...I briefly explained it and why I had to use pads (I don't use tampons--female issue).

I checked out the book a year ago (or maybe 2 years ago) and felt she was too young for it...especially the tampon part, but I rechecked it out this summer and she read it cover to cover.

I also took her to Body Basics for Girls this summer. She's 10 now, but could've gone at 9. It's for 9-12 year olds, but rarely any 12 years every attend (so said the instructor), so it's really 9-11.

I personally think 7 is too young, unless you have reason that your child that age NEEDS to know so early (developing early), but certainly not the way it was presented to a group. ETA: Oops..I thought it was presented to the group at Fellowship...sorry.

Alysha




Edited 8/5/2007 2:00 pm ET by alygator

Avatar for bradleyteach
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2001
Sun, 08-05-2007 - 8:33pm

I think Kayleigh was nine when we first discussed it, she may have had some idea beforehand since I"m a childbirth educator and there's plenty of talk and materials about reproduction around here.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Sun, 08-05-2007 - 10:01pm
Don't worry too much about her being afraid of blood. I've forgotten about that with my DD, she's almost 13 and she hated to see blood when my dad was in the hospital getting his finger stuck...and she almost passed out when she got her ears pierced, but now that she has her period, she hasn't said a thing about being afraid of the blood.
Hopefully the girls weren't too "crude" about it...I'm sure your DD will be fine in the long run. they hear a lot from other kids.
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Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 7:22am
That kind of things girls talk about. If kids have older sisters, they may know about such things. You can't keep your kids isolated. I had a girl in my Brownie troop who started her cycle in 3rd grade. Believe me, she informed the whole troop about how to use pads and it was no big deal.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2005
Mon, 08-06-2007 - 11:11am
If you can easily speak to the girl's mom, I would. I would be sure to say you aren't really upset (even if you are), but that you want the mom to know that her dd may not realize that this is info that younger girls might not be ready for and that moms want to introduce it,etc...otherwise....ya can't really complain when the same girl updates your daughter on the birds and the bees etc! lol