Sharing holidays with the Ex
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Sharing holidays with the Ex
| Sun, 12-23-2007 - 8:53am |
Does anyone have to split up Christmas Eve/Day with your ExHusband / S/O ?
My dd is already at her dad's house since this year she spends Christmas Eve and Christmas morning at her dad's and we get her Christmas morning around 11am.

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We have a radical agreement because neither of us has another spouse. My ex comes and spends Christams with us. He comes over Christmas eve around 4:00 then spends the night (in the spare bedroom of course LOL) and then goes home after an early Christmas dinner. We've been doing it for 7 years now and it works for us. My ex and I get along, just don't want to be married. What we'll do if either one of us ever finds a date? Who knows but I'm not worrying about it until it happens.
Have a wonderful holiday.
This is what my brother and his ex do with my niece-
Christmas eve has always been my parents thing so my brother will have my niece at my parents, we'll do our traditional stuff/ open presents, etc.
Then my niece goes with her mom because her mom and her family have always spent Christmas eve at her Nana's(my exsil's grandma) house so they do that and then do presents in the morning.
My brother will then get my niece back in the afternoon and we will have Christmas dinner here, presents are all done, just the meal and hanging out.
Now my exsil is pregnant and my brother now has a girlfriend with 3 kids, so I'm not sure how things will be evolving next year.
Technically, DH and BM alternate Xmas Eve and Xmas each year, but for the past few years we have made arrangements so that the kids can "wake up" and open presents at each house even if it means not actually having the day according to the visitation agreement. For instance, this year we did Xmas this morning (Dec. 23) with the kids and my IL's. We were supposed to have Xmas Eve this year, but DH will take the kids over the BM's house the evening of Dec. 24 so they can wake up and open gifts there on Dec. 25. If we followed the agreement, we would have to take them the morning of Dec. 25, and it just isn't fun not waking up and being able to open gifts.
DH and I don't have kids together, so there is no conflict there, but BM has a child from her second marriage, with a differen visitation arrangement with his father, so who knows if all three kids will be together on Dec. 25? But to be honest, that's not our problem.
In our family, we like to stretch holidays and birthdays for as long as possible, so we wouldn't have a problem with celebrating Xmas over the span of several days. Maybe you could relate it to the "12 Days of Christmas" song and tell your younger daughter that your family gets to have "# Days of Christmas"?
This question just brought me out of lurking......
I was a child of divorce and was always at "my" house for Christmas Eve.
Renee
Mom to
Miranda (14 yrs old, dancer for 11 years)
Thankfully I don't have to deal with that, but I think it is great you guys are able to work together!
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Hi Renee ~
Your situation does sound complicated!
My girls are 11 and 13. This year they decided what they wanted to do. In the court papers, it says we are supposed to alternate holidays. But we're doing the same as we did last year. They spent Thanksgiving with their dad. They were at their dad's this whole past weekend and will be coming home tonight at 8:30 and get to wake up here Xmas morning. They really wanted to do this because of their little 2 yo sister, for one reason.
I think the older they get, the more they should be able to decide what they want to do.
It's hard for me every year. I'm glad I'm getting Christmas off at work, it helps a lot.
IMO, i don't think your 4 yo DD should have to wait to open presents, but if it works for you, who am I to say anything? My cousin has made her 2 girls wait until the older one gets home to open presents from her dad's, and i don't think it's fair. The other kids aren't at fault for the divorce situation.
As far as our situation, I'll do whatever my kids want, especially since their dad shouldn't have much say because he is falling way behind on child support and chooses not to work...but that's a whole different story.
I try to make the best of it all, even when it's really hard.
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