Worst Christmas Ever!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2007
Worst Christmas Ever!
11
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 2:32am

First a little history about my situation... My husband and I separated in July of this year.. For the first month or so things were going really well. My 13 yr old daughter started getting out of control, I had started working 11pm to 7am so that I would be able to spend more time with my kids during the day. This I later discovered was a huge mistake, my daughter was having way too much fun while i was at work. Drinking, inviting friends over and sneaking out as soon as I left. She no longer went to visit her dad, and my son 11 now 12 would get violent with me and began living with his dad fulltime, that lasted about a month and a half.. they now both live with me fulltime.


My daughter calls me very colorful names to put it mildly and my son joins right in. One month before his birthday he was put in fostercare due to his violence towards me. He has also run away numerous times.. always comes home but stays out till sometimes 2-3 AM being brought home by police, it never seems to end. My daughter will sometimes call me and tell me she is not coming home, is staying at a friends house and will not tell me where she is staying, and will block the phone number of where she is calling from.


Now with christmas, its after 2AM my kids are still up, i am locked in my bedroom.. I have been called every colorful name there is from both kids, they refuse to go to bed, my daughter has poured honey all over the kitchen counter then sprinkled cinamon on it.. my son dumped a glass of milk all over the kitchen floor, they have stolen cigarrettes from me. THey refuse to listen to any rule or follow any consequences. I have taken away phone privliges, dismantled their computer, and locked up the sony playstation.. oh and I have blocked every channel on the TV..


they do not do this around their dad at all.. They have no respect for me or my house. I am starting to understand how some parents loose it completely, you hear about it everyday in the news murder suicide don't get me wrong.. i am NOT capable of that I do love my children and could never take my own life.. , I am currently off work due to excess stress, and in the process of moving.. I am at a complete loss as to what to do... I just know that

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 11:20am

I'm so sorry to hear about your family situation and your stress.


I wish I had some very good advice.. I don't know but have you tried family counseling?


I imagine the kids are taking their anger at the separation out on you and your home.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2001
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 1:47pm

I'm so sorry your family is going through all this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 6:42pm
I'm so sorry to hear about your kids. My solution is this: military school.
Do you listen to Dr. Laura? She has some great advice sometimes, not all the time, but when kids are out of control like this, esp. boys, she advises parents to send them to military school. She also received feed-back from parents who said it totally changed their kids for the better. Your's sound way too young to be acting like this, but you need to take care of it fast, IMO. Or it will get worse. They sound very angry. I am divorced, too and my kids don't act like that...they're 11 and 13 but both girls.
Please look into military school for your own safety and your kids' too...it sounds like you need some professional counseling to deal with the stress and they need to be away from you for awhile.
Please keep us updated.
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Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 11:27pm
I agree with the others that your whole family should go in and speak with a counselor, this includes your ex.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2007
Thu, 12-27-2007 - 9:40am

Yes we are all going to sessions together, my ex is now very much involved with the support services, I do see a therapist for myself, but we do all go to meetings together for developing plans

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-27-2007 - 10:24am

{{{hugs}}} that sounds stressful to put it mildly.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2007
Thu, 12-27-2007 - 11:50am

This may sound harsh because nowadays seems that no one wants to admit to spanking and will definately not suggest someone else do it, but it sounds like your kids are completely in control...and you are completely at their mercy. You better get a handle quick or the murder/suicide thought may come from the other side. If your kids have no respect for you, they have no fear of you or your consequences to their actions. If I were you I would definately go to counseling for yourself (EVEN IF IT IS JUST A FRIEND THAT HAS KIDS)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2007
Fri, 12-28-2007 - 1:45pm
Did you think about the possibility of military school? They will teach your kids respect and make them behave. It sounds like you should be fearful of your safety and when it gets to this point you need some outside help.
Ask your ex what he thinks about military school, especially for your son. He needs to learn to behave like a man. i hope you consider looking into it.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2007
Fri, 12-28-2007 - 4:03pm

I'm so sorry that you are going through this.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2005
Fri, 12-28-2007 - 7:51pm

If it were me, I wouldnt be hiding in my bedroom while they ran the show. They are children and need to learn respect. If it were me I'd have called the police, let them spend the night in a juvenille detention center for domestic violence. They obviously need a big wakeup call and I'd be willing to bet the authorities would be more than happy to work with you. I know that sounds harsh but you've lost control and its time to get it back.

~melissa

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