What would you do if you found..

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2008
What would you do if you found..
8
Mon, 01-12-2009 - 10:39pm
What would you do if you found a lighter in your 11 yr olds coat pocket?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2007
Mon, 01-12-2009 - 10:42pm

I would start by asking where he got it, why he had it and what his plans were for it. I'd also check for smells (cigs, pot, etc.). Oh, and he wouldn't have it any longer, I'd take it.


It would be a big deal in my house.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-12-2009 - 11:04pm

Depends on the kid. If it were MY kid's pocket I'd remind him that there is a burn ban on and he can't shoot fireworks right now. My kids have free access to lighters, and I trust them with them. He discovered that antibacterial hand rub makes a cool blue flame the other day.

If it were my kid, in the absence of any negative influences and in the absence of any worrisome behavioral changes, I wouldn't be concerned. But that's MY kid, and we lead a bit of an alternate existence (homeschooling, country living), my kid also rarely goes anywhere without a knife in his pocket.

I say follow your instincts. If something bothers you about it, it probably is for good reason.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Mon, 01-12-2009 - 11:31pm

Hello .... welcome to the board.


I would ask about it. My boys like to dismantle things so I'd be more concerned about them dismantling it than anything.


I am not naive though so I would keep my eyes peeled looking for items that would require a lighter (i.e: smokes, firework etc.)


Follow your instincts though...


Let us know how it all goes!


~Nicole


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2003
Tue, 01-13-2009 - 11:19am

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Tue, 01-13-2009 - 11:21am

I would ask her what she burned. Or what she lit and where is it now.

I have found a lighter in her hand before. she likes to play with fire. its amazing to know my house is still standing sometimes.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Tue, 01-13-2009 - 11:24am
I did that too!!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2007
Tue, 01-13-2009 - 12:52pm

Ahhh, I remember girls heating up their eyeliner in the school bathroom. Good times.

Anyway, if I found a lighter in my daughter's pocket, and there was no smell of smoke or any other indication that she'd been doing something illicit, I'd probably just ask her where she found it. She's come home from school before with random things that she picked up on the playing field and kept because she thought they looked interesting. If she were older, say 13 or 14, I'd be more suspicious, but I'd still look for other signs of smoking/drugs before I freaked out.

Incidentally, this reminds me of something that happened when I was in fifth grade. We'd been doing some sort of craft with construction paper in school, and I'd been playing with a leftover scrap of brown paper, rolling it up into a tube shape and then unrolling it again. I was still holding it when the bell rang, so I stuffed it into my book bag and went home. When I got there, I went into the kitchen to say hello to my mom and aunt, who was visiting, and as I put my bag down, this rolled-up piece of paper fell out and they both *flipped* because they thought it was drugs. My aunt grabbed it and my mom started yelling at her to smell it, quick, and I was standing there totally confused, saying "But it's just a piece of paper from art class." I thought they'd lost their minds!

Avatar for bradleyteach
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2001
Tue, 01-13-2009 - 4:47pm

Knowing my own kids, if it was Kayleigh I just couldn't picture her having it at all, if it was Ian, I would likely assume he found it somewhere and it was one of those cool things that he just had to keep.


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