What do you do when...
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 01-25-2009 - 10:12pm |
you think you just can't take it anymore? I'm about at the end of my rope right now and don't know what to do or where to turn. I'm just plain exasperated or really upset about EVERYTHING! Dh's job (you guys know about that), the way I'm parenting (yelling, caving so I don't have to hear whining or deal with tantrums, saying things no parent should ever say to a child, getting on their case about every little thing), my weight, the state of our house, my aunt's condition, the state of our cars, my real-life friends (or lack thereof), the kids' attitude toward us, their attitude toward school, my ability to cook for my family... It just seems like everything is a struggle and I'm exhausted. I just have no where to go with all of this. You guys can only listen to so much, I can't talk to dh 'cause he feels very much responsible for where we are and what's causing all of this, my friends are somewhat, connected with our financial situation (long story), I can't talk to my parents because my mother is too worried about my brother and my aunt and she honestly can't take much more either.
I'm not looking for solutions to my problems. That has to come from me. I'm trying to come up with a way to stop feeling so overwhelmed, calm myself down, and turn my outlook around. Right now I just want to curl up in bed with a soft stuffed animal and not come out till things are better. I've noticed that our family is enveloped in this shroud of negativity and that's not how I want my kids to grow up. I want them to have happy memories of their childhood not memories of Mom having fits and fights amongst themselves.

Pages
When do you get a break? I find that when I am on overload I SNAP OFF on my friends, family and coworkers.
You need to get AWAY for a day,....
Good point!!! I guess since I stay at home I sort of feel like I get a break every day while the kids are at school. Actually, I'm still doing things, around the house and outside of the house, to keep the family going. I also spend some of that time volunteering either at church or in the classroom.
I would love to take some time (even just a full day without any household duties) but since our financial situation is so dire and I don't bring in any income I feel guilty spending the $$$. I have some $$ that I got from my grandfather as a Christmas gift but I feel like I need to save it in case we need it for necessities (utilities, groceries, etc.) later on. There is a chance dh won't have a job after March. :(
Maybe I could just plan an in home spa day. Lock myself in my bedroom, put dinner in the crockpot, have a frozen something for lunch, watch movies/tv, do my nails, use some masks, light some candles, etc.
You have to take care of yourself! You have to have to have to!!
I go to the bookstore and read with a coffee for hours when I don't have money. If you do an in house getaway, the family has to know that you are not AVAILABLE and not to bother you.
I would agree with Nicole, and I know its hard when money is an issue.
Hugs Ami, I'm so sorry that you're feeling so overwhelmed right now.
<CENTER><A href="http://www.youngsurvival.org/"><IMG src="http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y23/jennt1111/mindy2.jpg"></A>
ya know what. I have read a lot about what is going on with you. I send you hugs and my prayers.
let me tell you something.
When i was little. my mom had a great job. she was gone for long hours of the day yes. we would my two brothers, come home from school many of times to find our lights were off and the phone did not work. Sometimes both. and sometimes the water would be turned off all because my mom could not afford to pay the bills. she use to yell and scream with my dad. a hole lot. I was so sad for her. but i do remember her trying her best to what she could. make the best out of what we did have. the rest would be okay. now i do remember the fighting and all. but i remember my mom trying to make the most out of every night. She would help with homework or read with us even by candle light which was alot of times. but she tried. and your kids will remember that but they will remember the fun times that you made to make it all better no matter what the situation is. you have to keep going and try really hard to be positive. good luck.
You are dealing with so much by yourself! I agree with the others that you need a break, but you also need to talk with your DH and kids during a calm moment and just tell them why you're losing it. Not to make them worried, but to relieve any worry that mom yelling might have stirred up. They need to know that you're not angry with them, just that you need to vent.
For your day "off" do you live near a park or conservation land? Outdoor exercise, even when it's 15 degrees and icy, really helps me get away from whatever is going on at home. Just bundle up and go for a hike. Or pet a cat and make it purr--that has been shown to relieve stress and lower blood pressure, assuming you're not allergic.
You mentioned something about your church. If you're comfortable with this and you trust the people there, put yourself on their prayer list. No one would need to know why, but you would get prayed for. People do all sorts of creative things to guard their privacy, like using initials or first names only on those lists. One family I know just said to pray for their entire family when it was just the daughter dealing with depression and cutting.
Pages