Our daughters views of us

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Our daughters views of us
29
Tue, 03-03-2009 - 7:53pm

This was a great article in the Washington Post today. It was about our views of ourselves and how it affects our daughters. I thought the first question was eye opening. What would your daughter say is your view of your body?






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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 8:02am
Yikes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 8:46am
I asked my son this. He said I worked out to be strong, too.





Avatar for cmkarla
Administrator
Registered: 01-03-2001
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 11:39am

How very interesting! I asked my daughters these questions and here are there answers:


9 year old:


What is my view of my body?


Her Answer: You are healthy


Why doI go to the gym and workout?


Her Answer: To get stronger


What would I change about my body?


Her Answer: You're too tall. You would make yourself shorter


How do I feel about my weight?


Her Answer: What do you mean? I don't know about your weight.


15 Year Old:


What is my view of my body?


Her Answer: Mom, you're healthy.


Why do I go to the gym and workout?


Her Answer: You want to stay in shape and put on more muscle


What would I change about my body?


Her Answer: Mom you think you're freakishly tall and you don't like your hair.


How Do I feel about my weight?


Her Answer: Mom, you are a good weight. You feel good about it.


Karla
Community ModeratoriVillage.com

Community Leader
Registered: 04-05-2002
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 11:55am
Isn't it reaffirming that we talk about weight/appearance in a healthy way?





Avatar for cmkarla
Administrator
Registered: 01-03-2001
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 12:00pm

Yes, it is nice to know that my daughters think in terms of health rather than weight. I'm going to ask my daughters the same question about their father

Karla
Community ModeratoriVillage.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2001
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 12:51pm

<< What would I change about my body?


Her Answer: Mom you think you're freakishly tall and you don't like your hair.>>


I love this answer - you think you're freakishly tall! That is such a 15 year old observation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2001
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 1:01pm

My middle daughter and son would both think I workout to be healthy. My son wouldn't think I have any obsessions; he thinks it's cool that I care so much about my health and that I look so much younger than I am because of it.


My middle daughter, on the other hand, knows that I've been trying to lose weight and she thinks I'm crazy because of it. She thinks I'm perfect just the way I am. I call it "Mommy-love" - she thinks I'm perfect, period and that's certainly not true. She's 21 by the way. But she and I are close and I've always been able to talk to her about things that I wouldn't talk to my oldest daughter about because ...


My oldest daughter would think I work out to look good. She sees the fact that I've always taken care of my health as an obsession - no matter how many conversations I've had with her about it in terms of balance, family history and just feeling good. She has a hard time with it. My working out and eating healthy puts pressure on her to do the same and she's not into it. It's a process ... raising children. LOL! She's 24.


BTW: My husband works out regularly and eats well and is in great shape and the kids see him in the same way as they do me. My oldest daughter thinks it's all about vanity. The midle thinks he's perfect just the way he is. And my son thinks it's cool that his dad is so strong and looks good for his age.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 3:26pm
That's a good question and I was wondering about opposite sex effects, both sons and fathers. I think it's because women have such pressure to look a certain way, eg the Swan tv show vs no Gander show.










iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 3:28pm
I love "mommy-love." It's nice to hear they might not grow out of it.





iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Wed, 03-04-2009 - 4:00pm

I asked these questions of my 11 year old DD.


What is my view of my body?


Her Answer: You are healthy, happy


Why doI go to the gym and workout?


Her Answer: To stay healthy


What would I change about my body?


Her Answer: Lose weight


How do I feel about my weight?


Her Answer: You don't like it


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