Do you speak up?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Do you speak up?
11
Mon, 05-11-2009 - 8:29am

This weekend, DH said that I stifled the conversation when we were out to dinner with another couple.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 05-11-2009 - 8:39am

It really depends on the relationship.

If I'm with a client and they say something ignorant about anything having to do with health and fitness, I will kindly correct them. If they say something ignorant about anything else, I will usually nod and smile. If I've had them for a long time, sometimes I will say "Really?" because I want them to justify their statement. Incidentally, I've gotten REALLY good at handling awkward/absurd/ignorant/racist comments from clients. :D

With friendships, it depends on what my relationship with the person is and what I think it will be. If it's someone I truly care about and foresee having a lot of contact with in the future (and therefore desire them to know *me*), I will speak up.

If it's a blowhard obnoxious person, I will usually just ignore it. I am probably not going to change their minds, especially if they fall under the distinction of "blowhard idiot."

My method doesn't always work though. I currently have a girlfriend whom I've known since I was 11 and we have some of these issues. Long story short, she believes that I'm going to hell because of some of my lifestyle choices. It's useless trying to have a logical conversation with someone who believes things solely because of religion. I've been struggling a lot lately with her friendship, especially because I'm headed to my hometown next month and that's where she lives.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 05-11-2009 - 8:42am
I often have problems with this.





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 05-11-2009 - 8:48am
You've expressed how I handle things, too. Sometimes some friendships aren't worth it and if that's how they feel, I can't overlook it and would rather not be w/ that person.





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 05-11-2009 - 8:50am
Yeah, I hear you. Best you can do is try to avoid those people. They tend to flock to each other anyway. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2006
Mon, 05-11-2009 - 8:53am

Oh, I have gotten myself into trouble many times!

L Signature

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 05-11-2009 - 8:55am
Which is what scares me about this ski group!





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 05-11-2009 - 8:58am

If they start bringing friends, I think your only option is to get confrontational because swallowing it will no longer be an option.

And Dancin'... that's terrible about the "roommate". But I know people like that too. I too am disheartened when I hear kids making ignorant statements. They don't even really know what they're saying.

I do my absolute best to only socialize with people who either think like I do or are open to having rational discussions about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 05-11-2009 - 11:24am
I have the same problem at dance, too.





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 05-11-2009 - 11:28am
Me, too. I don't need everyone to have the same views but to be open about discussions. And, not be fanatical.





iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2008
Mon, 05-11-2009 - 6:30pm

Thank you all for your comments.

Pages