Been there, done that, ready to give up

Avatar for princessmango
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Been there, done that, ready to give up
19
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 10:52pm

Not to sound redundant but I really don't know where to turn. I have used the message boards on ivillage and ediets in the past and I remember how much they helped so I have decided to try again. When I say I have tried everything, I mean EVERYTHING. I am a double major (psych/nutrition), worked with girls with eating disorders, worked at a gym, had several trainers, been on every diet, and I still keep reverting back to old behaviors. I have yo-yo'd so much over the years god only knows what I have done to my body. I know what I am supposed to eat, and sometimes I do it. And then somtimes this little evil person takes over my brain and I become this drone that has no control. I get mad at myself for eating m&ms but ten minutes later I eat jelly beans? I exercise regularly, on and off that is. Two weeks in a row I'll be like some super athlete and then the next week I get lazy or get busy, my caffiene addiction can't keep up with the growing fatigue I feel, I blow off my workouts and then get mad at myself and what do I do? Eat some more. At least most of the time I have the common sense to eat healthy when I overeat. What kind of wierdo binges on yogurt, strawberries, and brown rice? The morning mirror check seems to regulate my mood for the entire day as well as the 10 weigh-ins I do daily. I was 205 when I was 15. I was 145 when I turned 20. Then it gradually went up and up. I hit 175, got a gym membership, started my dietetics programs, and now I am 165 give or take a few pounds. I hate the sagging skin and cellulite on my body and feel like its never going to go away no matter how much I exercise. I am 23 and completely lost. I am going to school to get a degree in which I help people feel better about themselves, inside and out, and be healthy. How am I gonna do this if I can't do it myself?

Sorry for all the drama but I need some help before I lose it. Anybody feel the way I do or am i truly as crazy as I feel like I am?

J.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2001
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 9:56am

First of all, let me just say that I'm totally jealous of your degree pursuit! If I had it to do all over again, I'd study nutrition just like you! But that's another story...

Okay, here's something that has helped me, and I've only started this week. I've noticed that you keep talking about falling out of your eating patterns and workout patterns, so this is what I suggest: WRITE DOWN everything you eat. Strive each day to eat right and write down everything you put into your mouth, whether it's just a beverage, a piece of chewing gum, whatever! I don't know about you, but I tend to think twice about eating a McDonald's hamburger when I know I have to scribble it into my healthy food journal.

As for workouts, do the same thing. At the beginning of the week, write down what you'll do on each day (for example: Monday = Cardio, Tuesday = Weights, etc.) Get specific about what you'll do exactly for your cardio and weight training on those days and as the week progresses, just cross your 'chores' off your list. Make working out a part of your day just like school, work, brushing your teeth, etc. Consider it something that MUST be done or your day isn't complete. Do it 6 times a week if you can, but allow yourself a free day (to eat anything you want and NOT workout) so that you'll stay on track during the rest of the week. Scheduling this stuff out really helps a lot.

Now, keep your journal and exercise plan/schedule in a binder or folder that you will refer to daily. You can review it at night or in the morning...whenever it's best for you. It may sound cheesy, but before you begin, fill some of the pages in your binder with pictures of your goals. If you have a picture of yourself looking particularly healthy, paste it in your binder. If you admire Penelope Cruz's body, paste it in there. Paste pictures of swimsuit ads you've cut out from catalogues and mailers. Use those as motivation. Review your 'goals' daily and remind yourself why you're doing this.
It will help a lot, I promise!!

Good luck,

Z

Son

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 3:20pm
hey j
youre not alone in healthy food binges! me too. i am the only overweight person i know who lives on brown rice, beans, and veggies and exercises an hour a day.
so i guess i dont have a lot in the way of advice for you.
except i have a thought for you, if youre needing caffeine and always hungry maybe youre not getting enough sleep. im sure you have heard in your studies that the body craves food and tends to store more as fat when you dont get enough sleep, so that may be something to look at.
good luck!
Avatar for princessmango
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 3:38pm

Thanks for the replies. I used to journal my food and exercise and fell out of that pattern too but I would like to try to do it again. And no I definitely do not get enough sleep. Between school and work and doin stuff around the house and I do go out here and ther with my friends, I neglect that part quite a bit. Thats another thing I am working on but I am finding it hard to get back into a better sleeping pattern because I cant fall asleep at night even when I am at home. I know it will take time for everything. I think I just jump into things really fast with no direction and unattainable goals rather than being patient and focus on a little bit at a time.
I feel better today though. It always fells good to vent lol.

J :)

Avatar for rainlover711
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
Thu, 03-31-2005 - 6:20pm

Hi, i posted this in response to another question, but it will work here too i think. i use fitday.com and i can log my food and calories, my activities, a daily journal, my weight, and my personal goals too. it's nice, and i can even vent there! also, as a corny stupid reward, i put a sticker on my wall calendar for every day i work out. it's a good visual reminder that i'm trying and that i'm doing good. i kept saying, i can start working out or eating better tomorrow, i said that forever. and i never did it. so i finally started, and now i can actually say i've been working out almost solidly for a month, cause it's right there on my corny grade school calendar with the stickers!

good luck, please don't give up, we have all felt like that at one time or another.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 3:35pm

Hi and welcome to the losing weight board.


I'm sorry I didn't post sooner.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Sat, 04-02-2005 - 7:02am
im wandering a bit off-topic and im sure you know this anyway, but the best thing i did for myself was cut back to very minimal caffeine and alcohol. in terms of sleeping i mean.
anything more than a cup of coffee in the morning disrupts my sleep!
and i actually found a relaxation/meditation exercise to be quite helpful (i work and go to school too so sometimes i cant turn my brain off to sleep!) before bed.
good luck!
:)
p.s. the bonus in cutting back on drinking (im not a partyer by any stretch but i would have 4 or 5 margaritas in a weekend) was a 3 pound weight loss in two weeks.
Avatar for princessmango
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Sat, 04-02-2005 - 4:03pm
I dont really drink a lot of alcohol maybe a glass of wine at night but I DO drink A LOT of caffiene. I find it really hard to function without it. I usually drink a 16-24 oz. coffee or latte in the morning, maybe an energy drink (sugar-free) in the afternoon, another one before I work out (usually around 8 or 9). SOmetimes if I have an exam to cram for I will make a pot of coffee and have a couple of cups too. I feel so tired without it. I would like to cut back but I hate feeling tired. I always use splenda and skim so I cut back on the calories.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Sat, 04-02-2005 - 6:17pm
cutting back on the caffeine is awful! i used to work retail and i had a 6,8 or more cup a day habit.
this sounds like a big pain in the bum but it worked for me:
i limited myself to a certain number of cups a day so i could be sure i was getting the same amount. then i bought a bag of decaf and a bag of regular grounds.
and i would take the amount for each day and use 3/4 regular and 1/4 decaf. and i did that for a LONG time, i mean about two months.
and then i took the next step down to 1/2 regular and 1/2 decaf, etc.
sounds like a pain but i had a huge caffeine habit for ..13 years and that was the only way i was finally able to quit.
and the only reason im trying to really encourage you to do it is i sleep so much better now!
and now that i dont have the caffeine highs and lows through the day i dont feel the fatigue i used to either.
good luck!
:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 04-02-2005 - 8:58pm

I'm wondering if working out later is disrupting your sleep?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 4:58pm
I had one of those days today. Im not easily motivated til I get angry or look at myself in the mirror. Well that only lasts for so long. Today I went to look at some new summer tops for my new job. Nothing fancy just something colorful. The more I looked the worse it got. The shirts would show my flag arms, stomach rolls, and I just broke down and cried. I know I didnt get here overnight but I dont want to suffer another summer trying to hide.

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