How do I do this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
How do I do this?
10
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 10:06pm
Hi, new here, and fed up with myself. I am 28 years old, have a 16 month old son, and am 40 pounds overweight. I have always been overweight to some degree, and this is the heaviest. There are so many reasons I want to get thin and in shape. I want to be healthy, I want to accomplish this, but I'll admit my biggest reason is I want to feel beautiful again!!!
I feel like I really want to do this now because I have suffered two miscarriages since April, and I have decided to take time off from TTC just to get in shape. Also, my high school reunion is in September. I wouldn't be able to lose it all by then, but at least SOME.
I just don't know how to change a lifetime of terrible habits and lack of self-discipline. The motivation is there, but the drive to act on it is dead. The only thing I have at my disposal is walking, as I hate exercising for the sake of exercising. I would rather perform lipo-suction at home with a knife and a vacuum than do an exercise video. I will do strength, but only because I know it's so important. I just don't know how to make myself do this. Even at times when I have been doing well, I get frustrated because I can work my butt off, but feel impatient at not seeing immediate results. I know that's impossible, but it still hinders me.
Anyway, I really need support. If any of you have ideas on how to overcome my lifetime of laziness and fatness, please share!
THANKS!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 10:20pm

Hi and welcome,


I know how you feel.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Tue, 08-09-2005 - 11:45pm
Thanks so much for all you said. The simplicity of your response inspired me. My plan is to set the alarm, have breakfast, then load up the stroller and walk. My easy steps are no Coke, no eating after dinner, walking, and strength three times a week. I sabotaged myself last time because I had this workout video I would make myself do. I hated it so much, I would dread it all day and pout when it came time to do it. Needless to say that didn't last long! Anyway, thanks. Hope to get ideas and offer support as well on this board!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2005
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 10:52am

I know how you feel, you can trust me on that. I'm 23, I've never had any children, and I was about 50 pounds overweight. I think I carry my weight pretty well, but nonetheless, it is there and sometimes I'm really just plain out disgusted with myself. However, I read your original post, and not to sound too much like a shrink (since I'm not) it had a definite self-loathing tone to it. If you're like me, I'm sure you think that your thoughts and emotions have very little to do with your weight or goals to lose it, but I think you'd be surprised by how much changing your attitude will do to help you change your habits and weight. I'm not suggesting that you can "think yourself thin" or anything like that, but I think that emotion has a lot to do with why we are overweight in the first place.

Like you, I also despise exercise. I bought a tape, but I hated doing it so much that I would use any excuse to avoid it (oh my, that bathtub really needs to be cleaned... I better call my great aunt because we haven't talked in weeks, etc.). I decided that the tapes just are not the right method for me so instead I got a pedometer and I've started walking. I track the number of steps I do everyday in a spreadsheet, and I also track my weight, measurements and BMI. I think this really helps me to see my progress and keeps me motivated. I'll email you the sheet if you're interested. :)

I agree with the other poster that small changes are key. That's what I'm doing and it has helped me to lose about 10 pounds so far. But, I also think that you need to change how you think about yourself and food and exercise because it makes a big difference. Willpower really only goes so far (and it isn't far enough). I've been fighting my weight my entire life (since I was 10) and I feel like now that I've changed my thinking I actually have a shot at succeeding for the first time. I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I got a copy of Dr. Phil's book off of ebay, and I feel like it has really helped me out. I like the no-nonsense tone it has, and it has really gotten me to take a good look at my habits and motivations.

Anyway, this has been a really long post, but, I know you can lose weight if you really put your mind to it!

-Nikki

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 12:10pm

Hi caeliafairy,


How did you do today???

Monica


cl-monthom /Losing Weight Board.











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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-1998
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 5:26pm

Hey! you got some good responses so far. For me what is working is doing something I like(biking) but still forcing myself to do it. I hate exercise I totally know how you feel, I had steadily gained over the last 10 yrs but then having two babies in two years was the capper - I gained and kept on and extra 15 lbs between the two kids and on top of the other 20 I had gained the last bunch of years. I have definatly changed my eating habits, for me No snacks(besides rice cakes lol) not at all right now. I just simply can't have cookies and chips around. No eating after 8pm no matter what!! making smoothies for breakfast instead of breads and pancakes. Cutting down fat every where I can such as very little to no eating out, No stuff like hot dogs anymore. And even though I am really liking biking now it took a while, the first few weeks I had to force my self No excuses, no being tired no too hot or cold, whatever I had to not allow myself to make excuses. IT will take some time to see a lot of results but It happened faster for me than I thought, My goal is to lose 60 and I have lost 19 so far in 9 weeks. So it can be done and you may have to make some drastic changes to start. hth feel free to email me if you want

wendy
amaya 09/17/03
rowen 09/14/01

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 5:37pm
I want the Dr Phil book, too. I just need to wait until I have some extra money. (Very tight budget.)
I am going to do the walking thing. I also have a pedometer. Today I took my son on a 30-minute walk, and walked 3500 steps. Do you know what that "translates" into as far as distance? Is there a chart on something like that? I would love your spreadsheet, thanks so much. If you send me a message through ivillage, I will e-mail you back with my e-mail address. Thanks again!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 5:39pm
Well, so far, I am going to say a very tentative OK. I woke up, had a good breakfast with my son, and we went on a 30-minute walk. Lunch I didn't do so well; it was one of those tired/stressed reactions and I got take-out. (The only time I allow myself Coke.) But the rest of the day I am determined to do better, and do some strength exercises after little one goes to bed. At the very least, I got off of my butt, and that's better than usual! Thanks for asking.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2005
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 6:07pm

I am really surprised at how much I am liking the Dr. Phil book, actually. I never really thought he was all that great, but his book is good. It really has the no-nonsense advise that I need to see in print to get through my head. Anyway, I was able to get the book for only $5 (including shipping) on ebay, so it wasn't a major expense. Ebay is great for stuff like that.

As for the steps to miles thing, I'm actually a little confused myself. I've seen sites that say you can lose weight by walking 3 to 5 miles a day and other say you should aim for 10,000 to 12,000 steps. For most people a mile is between 1,800 and 2,200 steps; so 10,000 steps is probably more than 5 miles for the average person. So anyway, I make my goal 10,000 steps. But, if you want to know how many steps is a mile for you, measure an average step (usually 1.5 feet if your shorter to 3 feet if you're taller) and then divide 5250 by the legnth of you step in feet.

Anyway, I hope that make sense! Good luck walking!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2005
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 8:33pm
I tried to email you through ivillage; but the message didn't go through. If you're still interested in the spreadsheet, send me an email at: creativenikki@gmail.com.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2005
Wed, 08-10-2005 - 9:48pm
I know exactly how you feel!!! There were so many times where i would look at myself in the mirror in disgust and say, "OMG I am going on a diet I am so fat!!!!" I didnt own a scale cos I was too afraid to know how much I weigh untill one day my best friends mom said to me, "You look like you gained weight but you look really good." I wanted to cry an immediatly I headed to Sears and bought a scale! Once I got home and got on it I read 145lbs!!! OMG is all I could think how did I get like this. I decided I'm going on a diet well that didnt last long after not seeing results immediatley I got fed up and a week later I was back to stuffing McDonalds in my mouth and going out on drinking binges every weekend! It was getting so bad that size 12's wouldnt even fit me but I ignored it for 2 years untill one day my friend showed me pics of her and I at a pimps and hoe's party! I looked at myself in disgust, my stomach was hangin over my skirt and my legs looked like tree trunks! I wanted to cry, I knew it was time to do something. Finally I did, the next day i was on a strict diet that meant, no fast food, no alchol, no sweets! All I allowed myself to eat was healthy food and I wouldnt eat after 7. I didnt give up this time I could see myself in a 2 piece bathing suit and anytime I had that urge to eat a piece of chocolate I would pull that pic of me that made me want to vomit and that would stop me from eating that chocolate. I've been on my diet since October and I've lost 25lbs and am down to a size 6. To hear people say to me, "You look great" "OMG your so thin you look amazing." It feels great to hear that, I feel great! I love to go into a store and have a size 4 be too big, it makes me happy! I just like you am trying to lose some more weight and now I am getting more and more frustrated cos its not coming off as easy as it did before. I know I can do it I have to motivate myself some more cos I dont want to give up like I have in the past. I know you can do it, just put your mind to it! Pull out that pic of yourself that makes you want to cring and everytime you want to eat junk food look at that pic and you wont want to eat it. Goodluck to you!
Deirdre