Tiny Tuesday (m)

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Tiny Tuesday (m)
17
Tue, 08-21-2001 - 10:40am

Tiny Tuesday (m)


This week, select one of the choices below and write some dialogue between those two characters:

Employer and employee

Two people waiting for the bus

Mother and son/daughter

Cashier and customer at a fastfood restaurant

Doctor and patient

Two strangers on the internet

Have fun,

Mac

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Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Tue, 08-21-2001 - 5:32pm

Oh....this sounds like fun. (n/t)


Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Tue, 08-21-2001 - 10:59pm

TT ... (m)


Well, what can I say? I saw this exercise and thought of this scene from a much larger piece that I've been working on. Feel free to critique away! Sammi

LOVE LINES

Alex waited while Doctor Reiger, or Kim, as she liked her regular patients to call her, stepped out of the exam room for the second time. Tracy, her head nurse, had poked her blonde head around the door, needing her immediate attention.

What now? Alex wondered. First Kim asked if it was okay for Chris, an intern, to do the pap. Since Alex was an old pro and probably wouldn't mind if inexpert hands shoved in that cold piece of steel.

Then the private, whispered conversation between Kim and Chris while Alex laid out doing the smiley-face. As if that hadn't been humiliating enough. Now she was being held hostage in this cold, impersonal exam room, with only a four foot square of paper to cover herself with. "I'll be back," Kim had said.

***

"I don't care if you've already ran this test twice," Kim whispered to Cory, the lab tech. "Run it a third time. If it comes back with the same result, I'm going to have to do some quick shuffeling to be able to consult with this patient."

"But it's been ran twice..."

"Look, I'm not dealing with a newlywed. I'm dealing with a more mature woman, who's been a widow for quite some time. I'm not going back in there until this's been ran three times." Kim sighed, running her stout hand through her short chestnut hair, walking away towards her next patient.

***

The square of paper kept sliding off of Alex's shoulder. Thank God they let me sit up, she mused, glancing towards the cold stirrups.

"Well," Kim bustled in, Alex's file open in her hands. "Let's do another exam. Alex, if you'll slide on down."

Tracy held out the K-Y jelly while Kim slid on the gloves. Pressing down on the top of Alex's tummy, Kim slid her fingers inside. "Is that tender?"

"Just a little," Alex murmured.

Tugging the gloves off, Kim gingerly pushed and prodded at Alex's breasts. "Tender?" she asked, hearing Alex's quick intake of breath.

"More like sensitive."

"Okay," Kim stepped back, slipping her stethoscope back into her pocket. She pulled the square of paper back over Alex. "You can get dressed, then I'll be back."

***

Alex slipped her shoes on, tying them. She touched up her lipstick in the mirror over the tiny sink, then sat back down.

"Alex," Kim said, stepping back in. Tapping her fingers on Alex's file, she slowly raised her gaze. "Well, let's talk for awhile. You're periods have been erratic the last couple of years, we've discussed hormone replacement, to help regulate them ..." She tapped her index finger against her lips, then sighed as she leaned forward. "You're blood tests and urine samples show no signs of infection, or a cyst disintegrating, like we originally thought. That's not the reason for your nausea or your tender breasts, honey." Kim patted Alex's hand. "You're pregnant."

"That's not ..." Alex stammered. Her mouth dropping open, she stared dumbfounded at Kim. Clamping her mouth shut, she worried her bottom lip, trying to figure out when. She went back four weeks, Sunday morning, when Michael had been out of condoms.

"We ran all the tests three times, Alex. The HCG level is right around six thousand. Your cervix is soft, dropped. Your uterus feels to be about four weeks pregnant. Are you telling me that you can't be pregnant? That you haven't ..."

"No," Alex whispered hoarsely, looking down. "I have." Wiping a stray tear with the tip of her index finger, her bottom lip began to quiver. "I didn't think I could get ..."

"What?" Dr. Kim asked softly. "You didn't think you could get pregnant?"

"I had problems when I had Chaz," she said, looking up. "Doctor Jensen didn't think I could have anymore."

"Well, Alex, I'm sorry. But it appears that that diagnosis was wrong. Any idea as to conception date?"

"I can't be anymore than four weeks." Another stray tear slid down Alex's cheek.

"The father?"

"We're not together anymore." Looking away, Alex shook her head, tears freefalling. "And I'm not sure how he'll feel about a baby."

"What about you?" Kim reached out, taking Alex's hand.

"I won't abort. But I don't know if I can keep it either."

"Well," Kim patted her hand. "You have some time to decide that. The nausea and the vomiting is most likely morning sickness. You said earlier that you were taking something?"

"Yeah," Alex bent over, retrieving her purse. "This," she shoved the bottle of flu syrup into Kim's hand.

"Okay. No harm done. Let's not take anymore though, okay?" Kim pitched the bottle into the trash can. "Raspberry leaf tea works well. Just one cup a day though. But," she waved her hand at Alex, "you're an old pro. You'll sail through this. Any questions?"

"When will you do an amnio? For birth defects?" Alex choked out the last of her sentence.

"Not until you're about eighteen to twenty weeks. I'll have Tracy set that up when it's time. Anything else?"

"No," Alex croaked.

"We'll see you in four weeks, then." Kim wrapped her arm around Alex's shoulder, walking her to the door. "Unless you have problems, then I want you in to see me."

"Okay," Alex mumbled, numbly walking out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 08-22-2001 - 12:27am

Nice, sammi. (n/t)


cl-ozarker

"We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master." - Ernest Heminway

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Wed, 08-22-2001 - 1:08am

Ooooo, it touched my heart! n/t


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Wed, 08-22-2001 - 1:18am

The son.


My son will soon be a father for the first time, and it has caused me to revive a nostalgic piece I started a long time ago about his growing up. This is one small part.

One summer morning, as the mother and son were leaving the house at the same time to go to their respective jobs, the mother saw an earring sparkling in the son’s ear lobe.

“What is that?” she asked, ignoring the fact that it was obvious what it was.

“It’s an earring.”

“You’re not going to work looking like that are you?” Mothers love to ask dumb questions.

“Why not?” Sons also like to ask dumb questions.

“Because your boss (who happened to be a friend of the mother and a client of the mother’s boss) is very conservative and might not approve of an earring if you have to be around customers,” she responded.

As time went on, more earrings appeared, first one in the other ear, then two in the first ear and so on, until one day the mother asked, “Son, four earrings in one ear?”

“Relax,” he said, “it’s only a phase.”

And so it was. He gradually modified the number of earrings he wore at any one time until today, when they are gone (at least to the best of the mother’s knowledge).

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Wed, 08-22-2001 - 8:44am

Tiny Tuesday exercise (m)


Freak-Out

My fifteen-year-old son, Javin, sat in the passenger’s seat impatiently waiting on his younger sister to make her way to the car.

“Can I turn on the radio?” He asked.

“No, I need to talk to you.” I answered.

“About what?” He angrily asked.

Nikkei opened the back seat door and tossed in her sixteen-pound backpack. She plopped into the seat and yells out, “I hate school!”

“What took you so long?” Javin asked her.

“What do you mean, what took me so long? I have to walk all the way from the gym, you idiot.” Nikkei yells at him.

“Stop it you two! I don’t want to hear this!” I bellow.

“What do you want to talk to me about?” Javin asked me again.

“We’ll talk about this when we get home.” I reply.

“Why? What is it?” Javin inquires again.

“I’ve been cleaning out your room today, getting ready to paint the ceiling and walls.” I response.

“I told you not to mess with my room Mom. I will clean it out. Why did you mess with my stuff?” He protested.

“We’ll talk about this when we get home.” I tell him, not wanting to discuss the matter in front of Nikkei.

Javin starred out the window with hostility. He darted his eyes at me and gave a sigh.

“I know why you are mad, and we’ll talk about it when we get home.” I told him with tears in my eyes.

“Why did you move all my stuff Mom? Man, I told you I would move my stuff out this weekend for you to paint.” He mouthed.

“Javin, I don’t want to discuss this issue right now. As soon as we get home I have numerous things to talk about with you.” I demand.

As soon as the engine is turned off Javin opens the car door and slams it closed. He steps lively toward the front door.

Nikkei asked, “What is wrong Mom?”

“I’ll talk to you about it later Nikkei.” I said, on the verge of crying.

“Javin,” I shout as I walk down the hall toward his room.

“You’ve messed up all my stuff Mom. I’ll never find my CD’s and speaker wire.” He complains.

I pick up a small box and open the lid. “I found these things in your room Javin.” I stare at him with uneasiness.

“What did you hid this shot glass?” I asked him.

“Because you would freak-out, that’s why.” He rebuttal.

“Well, I don’t think I would freak-out, I don’t really like it. Its not like you would really use it for alcohol, is it?.” I asked.

Holding up the small shot glass with the words ‘Name Your Poison followed by Panama City Beach, FL’ on it.

Javin must have bought it on our vacation three weeks ago without me knowing it. I look into the box at the two condoms and wonder what to say about them.

“Some of these things are conceivable, but these are not.” I said as I held out my hand with three tiny white triangle pills appearing.

“Mom,” Javin yells grinning and begins to laugh loud.

“I don’t think this is so funny Javin. What are these? Where did they come from? How many have you taken? Why Javin? I didn’t think you used drugs.” I shriek with a tear rolling down my face.

“Oh Mom,” He said and walks toward me, giving me a hug.

I hug him and rub his shoulder.

He pats me on the back, looks me in the eyes and said, “Mom, those are mints. Smints, smell it. Taste it. They are mints, Mom.”

My eyes pop open wide in wonderment. I place the white tablet under my nose and inhale; I smell a faint aroma of peppermint. I place the tablet on my tongue and bust into the laughter and tears.

“Oh Javin, I’m so sorry. I, I …”

“Its okay Mom, I know you just worry about me.” He said and hugs me again.

“I’m so happy to be wrong Javin. You’ll never know how happy I am to be wrong about something.” I announce.

“I’ll move the rest of my stuff down to the basement in a minute Mom.” Javin utters has he closes the small box and sat it on a stack of larger boxes.

“I love you Javin.” I tell him and smile as I walk down the hall wiping the tears from my face. I didn’t share with him the fact that I had called two pharmacy’s today asking about a tiny white triangle pill with an ‘S’ on both sides. I recall the pharmacist telling me to bring them in and he would try to identify them.

“Nikkei, guess what Mom thought about those Smints you where throwing at me the other day?” Javin yells at his sister.

I sat in my recliner laughing and crying as I listen to the commotion coming from Nikkei’s bedroom.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-22-2001 - 6:58pm

Yowsers, poor Alex! (m)


tsk tsk, I knew those two were going to be at it like rabbits. I just knew it.

This was good, Sammi. I think you caught Alex's shock and confusion really well, tho I was interested that she was together enough to turn down the idea of an abortion right off. I also found that Kim's decision to let the intern do the pap smear did not jive with her presentation otherwise as an approachable, empathetic doctor--I know why she did it, but I think that might have upset Alex.

You might want to explain the medical terminology--the blood levels specifically--to those of us who have not been pregnant for some time. Couple of nitpicks-- you used "stout" as an adjective for the doctor's hand--er, capable, strong, highly muscled from being clamped by contractions; something else. Also I think there's a stethoscope that appears out of nowhere.

Watch those gerunds. (Isn't it a great word? "Oh, Gerund, when I'm lying in your arms, feeling like I'm defying the world, etc etc").

e

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-22-2001 - 7:03pm

TT--Doctor/patient


With apologies to Sammi, this is also an excerpt from something else longer, and a similar situation. Can't remember what our word count is supposed to be, but this comes in at just under 500.

"Dr. D'Angelo."

"Dr. Rothman."

"Hon." Joanne embraced me in a crackle of paper. "Hey. How are you, Lee?”

"Okay, I guess. Thanks for coming to the funeral, Joanne."

"Glad to, hon. I liked your mom. Just a moment, I'm getting the speculum out of the refrigerator." She grinned at me, then tilted her head to one side, her expression serious. "You don't look good. I mean, you look even less good than you should. Are you sleeping? Eating? We need blood. Blood."

"Do they teach you that at medical school? The cheap vampire imitation?"

"Believe me, it wasn't cheap. Lie back, relax." She rustled around.

"Ouch."

"Wuss."

"Some bedside manner you have, Joanne."

"Uh-huh." She swiveled on the stool and checked my chart. "When did you say your last period was?"

"I didn't. Wait. Oh my God. Before I went to England." She handed me a calendar and I pinpointed the date, and tensed with fear.

She squeezed my shoulder. "Lee, I don't want to do the paternal doctor thing, but you've been under a lot of stress, with your mom and your nearly-ex. And you know that jet lag can mess up your cycle. I don't suppose you had any sort of sex there, did you?"

"Joanne, I didn't go to England to get laid."

"I should hope not." She snorted, and pushed her eyeglasses up onto her frizzy brown hair. "Nothing wrong with our gross national product. So, you had sex with some guy and now your period's missing. Jeez, Lee, did he tell you he just wanted to put it in?"

"No, Joanne. He told me the check was in the mail. He used a condom." I reconsidered this. "Most of the time."

She snorted again. "Most of the time? Hon, you sound like the teenagers I get in here, knocked up and wide-eyed. Don't get me started. Okay, let's assume the worst. Legs up. I want another look." She prodded and palpated. "Had any nausea? Any tenderness here? Well, it's early. Okay. First pee of the morning, Lee."

"What do you think?"

"I don't know, Lee. I really don't. Hmm. An Englishman. Did he have his own teeth?"

"I believe so. At least he didn't put them in a glass while I was there. Come out for a drink with me and I'll give you all the lurid details." I slid off the table and started getting dressed.

She looked guilty. "Oh, Lee. Not tonight. The big O. Ovulation. Even as we speak, my domestic god, in his loosely-fitting underpants, is cooking the gourmet dinner, and cueing up the porno video."

I took a deep breath. "The irony of it, Joanne. Have fun."

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 08-22-2001 - 10:51pm

Here's mine (m)


Randy looked up after punching in the hamburger and asked, "Do you want the fries biggie?"

"Boy, don't you calling me fat. Your mama should have taught you some manners."

"No, ma'am. I meant--"

"I know what you meant. Just cause a woman is as big as me don't mean she don't watch what she eats," the plump face began to grow redder as she spoke.

"I didn't say anything about your size."

"Oh, so now I'm fat and hearing things?" She twisted her head from left to right. "Where's your manager? I don't have to stand for this...this backtalk from some little punk like you."

After clearing his throat Randy managed to speak. "I am the manager."

Rolling her eyes, the woman said, "If that don't beat all I've ever seen."

"Okay, let's start over."

"Start over? I gotta get back to work."

"Do you want--"

Interrupting him, she slammed her hand on the counter. "You insulted me and now you gonna waste my time."

"I'm trying to ask you one simple question," he said.

"Well, ask it. You think I got all day," she said, placing her right fist on her hip.

"Listen chubby, you want the damn biggie fries or what?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 08-22-2001 - 10:58pm

Nice suspense and (m)


you depicted the scene at the OB-GYN that we all hate (or at least I do). I expected the worse from this (okay maybe it was just my negative mind anticipating disaster). Since I'm somewhat familiar with Alex and Michael, you've left me biting my nails. Don't leave us hanging, Sammi. Feel free to post any excerpts you need feedback on.

Mac

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