My TTE: (late of course)
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 11-03-2001 - 5:07pm |
My TTE: (late of course)
Cursed Blood
Lately, Samantha Lee has been noticing that many of the old men she sees, on the street, in the grocery store, everywhere and anywhere she goes, resembles her father’s picture.
Sam thinks, there are just a lot of old Italian men around. They’re easy to pick out; some are barrel shaped, with shaggy white hair, others have thinned away to a lumpy, and hollow frame, so that a belt has to be hitched up high and tight.
On Sunday morning, Sam points out an old man of the first type to her husband. The man sits hunched over a newspaper, following the line of print with one thick finger. His glasses are smudged almost to the point of opaque.
“Who does he remind you of?” Sam asks Jim.
“An old Spencer Tracy?”
She shakes her head.
“Frank Sinatra?”
Sam smiles. “I just thought he looked very Italian.”
“All old men look Italian to you,” Jim replies.
Sixteen years ago, when Jim went into the Navy and Sam graduated from college, they planned to start a family, however they never did. Sam troubled herself over the years with the stories about her father, some from family legend passed down from her mother and some created from her mother’s memories. They featured his temper, his sense of humor, his alcohol addiction and his famous bad blood.
Jim worried about Samantha especially when she talked about her parents.
“Do you remember what the Geneticist said when I told him we want children?” Jim asks while sipping his coffee.
“I’m afraid, our child could have … our child would have a stranger’s blood running through his veins, his life would be cursed by the unknown ancestors.” Sam replied.
“You worry to much sweetheart.”
The wind rose cool, in the far overcast sky lightening struck, leaves flutter, twisting to the ground. Sam looks into Jim’s eyes wanting to shout at him the things she has buried in her mind but she doesn’t. She doesn’t want to ruin their Sunday morning tradition of breakfast on the café sidewalk in town. A young waiter pours more coffee into their cups.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about my mother,” Sam says as if they were picking up a conversation interrupted by the refill.
“What about her?”
“I just thought … no, I just wonder why she allowed herself to make babies with this man, my father whom she titled ‘bad blood’,” Sam answers.
“Samantha, your mother was being selfish and childish and foolish. She lived Sam, she just lived,” he says.
“Mom,” she says, her voice rising, pushing out words, “She will live forever, until she is old and desperate herself, and my father’s face has long since faded out of her memory.”
“Maybe so,” he says and hands her a tissue. “I might not say it to you but you did the right thing. You remember that, when things get rough.”
Samantha daydreams about father, was he growing old, his hair white, his muscles weak, was his eyes fading?
“I thought you were ready to do some shopping.”
Sam puts butter on her toast.
“Who am I like, which one of them?” She asks. Her voice sounds high and faraway, a stranger’s voice, a little girl’s voice.
“You’re my beautiful, amazing wife that I love and cherish. How about we take a drive out into the country?” He asks.
“Whatever you want,” she says, “Whatever makes you happy.”
He tosses the key to Sam; she catches it with her upheld hand.

Pages
Good start Thia...
I must admit that I also "squinted at the screen" a bit here - I think it was more because of the way she talks about her "parents". Now, I know that this sounds strange - but I was raised by my mother alone from the time I was 4. To me, when I talk about my "parents" I talk about her. When I talk about my father or my mother and father when they were together, I use the word "father" or "mother and father". I guess my confusion was from her talking about parents and her father as though he had been there all along...now I'm being confusing...
There were a few lines of dialogue, too, that felt a little too forced to me. For example: "She lived Sam, she just lived". It just feels too formal for a breakfast conversation between man and wife.
But your characters are very real and vivid - and I think from what you've been saying about the story "taking its own turn" that you've got the beginings of a good story here! The topic is very real and very modern - it strikes at a lot of us right in the heart.
Thanks for sharing...
Wendy
Thanks for the critique Wendy (m)
Now.. I'm confused and squinted at the screen. I'll make sure my next story doesn't touch on this subject.
Thanks for reading and giving your opinion.
Hi thia, I liked your story.(m)
It presented an interesting problem, one I haven't seen in a story -- the fear of "bad blood".
I do agree with dvspec that it would read easier if it were all in the past tense. To do the "flashback, just start and finish that part in past perfect (had done, said, etc.) to distinguish it from the regular past tense.
Hope that helps.
Linda
cl-ozarker
"We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master." - Ernest Heminway
Thanks for the advice Linda. I appreciate you taking the time to read this. (n/t)
Pages