It's Day Three for me.....
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|Wed, 03-30-2005 - 12:09pm|
and so far, so good. I just thought I'd post a quick thread to let everyone know how I was doing. I'm having trouble going to sleep at night, staying up to 1:00 am or so, but I'm able to take a short nap after I get the kids on the bus in the morning. Put it this way -- I'm so grateful to be waking up in the morning without a headache or fuzzy head that I don't care if I only get 3 hours of sleep a night! Last night was a big one for me. I also suffer from panic/anxiety and sometimes have trouble going to stores unless I had a few drinks in me. Well, last night I walked through the mall with my DH and two sons, went into about a dozen different stores looking for one stupid pair of soccer socks for my son (LOL!) and then ended up at at a restaurant for a quick dinner with them. No panic, no anxiety, nothing! I never, EVER thought I'd be able to sit in a restaurant without drinking! It was so empowering to me. The really important part of this whole story (I realize I'm rambling here) is that on our way out to the mall, I had such an urge for a glass of wine and I was trying to justify it in my head any way I could (I'll quit tomorrow, Friday, next week, etc. - you all know what I'm talking about). The urge passed and I kept on trucking. My youngest son has soccer practice tonight and I'm actually looking forward to it, rather than thinking how it will cut into my "happy hour". God, was I actually like that? I realize I am very, very, very early into this, but I'm just amazed so far at how my body is reacting. I had all these thoughts of bad reactions and lots of anxiety and it's just the opposite. Who knows - maybe one day I'll even be able to get off the Paxil that I have been taking now for 6 years.
One last thing -- although my oldest son (who is 9) has never commented on my drinking, he was sooo happy last night as we trucked from store to store and he was actually even HOLDING MY HAND! When we got back home and sat down to watch American Idol, he told me that this was one of the greatest days of his life. How amazing is that? Okay, I'm going to start crying now so I shall shut up!
Well, thanks for reading this long winded account and again thanks for being here for me. I think about you guys often and that helps keep me accountable. I've also looked into some AA meetings and am planning on going to one later in the week.