New here, this mom wants to stop

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2005
New here, this mom wants to stop
19
Tue, 02-14-2006 - 9:59pm

Hi all,
I came across your board this morning as I have been looking into some ideas/support for myself. I will give a little background....I am a Nurse Practitioner currently staying home full-time with my two young kids (2 and 3). For the last year or 2 my drinking has increased to the point where I am concerned. I only drink at home, at night, it starts out a beer or glass of wine while cooking dinner, then several more with my husband while watching TV after the kids go down. I got up to 2 beers and 1/2 bottle a wine per night....no blackouts, very few hangovers ( my tolerance is up I guess), and no innappropriate behaviour,

BUT...I do feel as though it is a bad example for my kids, and I know it is very unhealthy. My DH and I quit for 2 weeks last month and the whole time I craved it....it was NO FUN!!
So we went back, but CUT way back to like one per night and 2 on the weekends...but even that I am feeling guilty about right now...so I have decided to quit all together....very possibly forever.

The sound of that scares me to death, and the only thing I can think of right now is....gee in 3 weeks is my 10 year wedding anniv. and we have plans to go out to a hotel and dinner etc. the first time away from the kids since they were born....should I abstain then too??? I know that is a stupid thing to be so concerned over...but I am.

Anyhow, thanks for including me...and I look forward to learning more,

K

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Avatar for carol777
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 7:24am

Hi K....Welcome!

You are so wise to reach out for a better future!
You really being a responsible Mom!

I hope in 3 weeks you will discover how super you
feel and will toast your anniversary with grape juice!

Let us know how we can help with your resolve.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 2:09pm

Hi K,

I am an alcoholic and struggle with it every single day. I am also a mother of 3 girls, and I have a bf who I am common law married to. I too think of all the events we have to share etc that will involve alcohol. But you know what, I can think of the best times I have shared with bf and they DID NOT involve alcohol. And with the kids, I cry often when I think of all the things I did drunk. So many memories lost. I am trying to beat my addiction and yes, I suck at it, but for me it is one minute at a time. Remember the GOOD times (alcohol free). I don't deserve everything I have been blessed with and everyday I do "count my blessings". Tracy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 5:22pm
Hi there and welcome to this message board! I am a recovering alcoholic and I just don't drink today - one day at a time. I know that sounds so terribly trite - but it has worked for me for almost 11 years. I sought help through AA and I am still an active member. The miracle is that I don't crave alcohol, nor do I have a daily fight worrying about it anymore. It took some hard work, some real soul-searching, and changing some major things about myself but it was worth it. My daughter was 8 years old when I got sober, and I am so grateful she was spared the rest of her childhood to not have to deal with a drunk mother!!
I am glad you are here and hope you will come back. One day at a time,
Leslie
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 8:08pm

Hi K!!


Welcome to our board. I am filling in for the community leaders while Jolene is pouring information into her brain for her new job and Brenda is recoverying from a liver transplant.


I am a mom, a wife and a teacher (hence the name) and I am an alcoholic. Before I was a wife or a mom, I realized that my drinking was not normal. I chose to go to AA. That was in 1989. I have not had a drink since. So, without drinking, I fell in love. I got married. I had a baby, I buried my Mom, I took my ill sister into my home and took care of her, I had another baby, I buried my sister. No alcohol.


I don't know any other way to get and stay sober than AA, because that is what worked for me. I am open to the possibility that there are other ways. Lucky, who posts here, is doing a nice job cutting down by using some of the MM tactics. It works for her. There are others here who use other techniques. Hey, whatever works, if you know what I mean.


So be welcome here, some often. We understand.





Pediatric Stroke, even kids get them



Avatar for lucky30605
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-16-2006 - 12:44pm

That sounds exactly how I got up to 7 drinks per night. Ugh. One before dinner, one while cooking, one with. Then sharing martinis with my husband (which we measured the other night and contain 4-5 shots.....each!). I would do this about 3 or 4 times per week. I, however, was waking up with diarreah and panic (hangover, I guess).

Oh, and I almost ALWAYS got drunk on either Friday or Saturday night. It's a weekly ritual with our friends and family (bar owners, restrauranteurs and muscians).

I started by limiting my drinking to 2 during the week and still getting drunk on the weekends. But if I get drunk I have to abstain the next day. I am still doing the 2 per weeknight but I am trying to limit drinks on the weekend to about 4-5 instead of 10. My goal is to have one per weeknight and no more than 4 at parties and other drinking events. Moderation Management calls it harm reduction. I have no intention of stopping completely because I don't want to. But my path was definately going south. I had headaches, IBS, heart palpatations, panic, fatigue and depression. I wasn't sleeping well at all.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Lucky

Avatar for lucky30605
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-16-2006 - 12:49pm

Beth, I think it's great that you got through all these major life events without alcohol. That must have taken some serious committment on your part. WTG!

I have a question, and it's totally out of curiousity. Did you have alcohol for the guests at your wedding?

Lucky

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2004
Thu, 02-16-2006 - 4:01pm

No, we did not include alcohol in our reception. We had a unique reception. We told guests to please bring their children (DH had 2 sons and we were including them in the wedding) and accoutrements for playing frisbee, kickball, and badminton. We reserved a town park and had a picnic. Since the picnic started at noon and included children, we felt that not having alcohol was okay for everyone...and it turns out that people still talk about the good time they had.



Avatar for carol777
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 02-16-2006 - 6:59pm

I would rather go through life sober,
believing I am an alcoholic,

than go through life drunk,
trying to convince myself that I am not.

Each day sober is a victory!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 02-16-2006 - 7:00pm

Thanks, Carol! I have always loved that saying!!

Go, girl!!
Leslie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Thu, 02-16-2006 - 8:10pm
Nice job everyone. I have enjoyed reading all the thoughtful and caring posts...




palmtrees and breezes


~Jolene~


"Community Leader for Alcohol Problems Board"



Host for Tuesday night chat at 9pm est


"You never know what we might talk about..."


Click here for the :AlcoholProblemsChatroom


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