Welcome. If you are looking for a better way to live then you have come to the right place. If you are looking for people who truly care about others - again, you are in the right place. You are not alone.
The problems you described seem overwhelming, don't they? Looking at the situation, I know that if I were still drinking, those life situations would seem unbearable. I would drink to escape the painful reality, and like you, would wake up - sleepless, regretful, frightened, angry, and feeling very very alone.
My first suggestion to you would be to seek some help. A counselor, or a pastor at church, your doctor, etc. You may be suffering from depression that is related to drinking, or it may be depression that is causing you to drink. In either case, depression and drinking is so intertwined that a professional is the best one to help you sort things out and address the problems you are facing. I had to see a counselor for a while for those reasons, and I did that while I was getting sober in Alcoholics Anonymous. My DH is a good guy, like yours, but he couldn't help me. I needed friends and support from others who had been there and walked the same path that I was walking. I only had one child, but gave up nursing her because I wanted to drink. She was 8 years old when I finally got sober. Today she is almost 20 and she is the light of my life - and we have a fantastic relationship.
You see, there is hope. Reaching out, as you did last night, was the first step in th right direction.
You cannot fix what is happening in your family. You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. What you can do is learn to take care of yourself, and be there for your children. And you can do that with the help of others - friends, who care. God bless you - please keep coming back. We are here to help. Leslie
I wanted to welcome you to the board and i hope that you do wake up this morning and post again. my name is Tracy, I am 28 and I also have 3 kids. I have been struggling with my alcohol addiction for about 3-4 years now (pretty much my whole drinking career).
This board is wonderful. If you are looking for friends, guidance, and acceptance, then you have come to the right place!
Your life does seem to be filled with much stress and I really think this could be related to your drinking. With your family history etc. then I do think it is important to seek some kind of counseling or support. It is normal to feel guilt after having a drinking episode, I think everyone feels that way. I keep a journal off and online, and that helps me to be able to look back at those drinking episodes and how I felt.
I do not think you are a bad mother. You came here because you do realize you are having problems with alcohol and you want to change them so you can be an even better mother. I hope this board can offer you some guidance, and most importantly, some friends!
Wow, your sleep problems sound just like mine. I would get drunk and fall asleep and pop awake in the middle of the night. Usually I would be nauseated and nervous. I would feel soooo guilty. Mostly because I thought about the damage I was doing to my body.
You're right. Drinking 3x per week is not unhealthy. Getting drunk is. I hope you can find some help here or with a counselor so you don't feel the need to get drunk.
Keep us updated. There is a lot of good advice here.
Truly Blessed, I'll be your friend if you need one. We have a lot of similar issues. I too have three children, and I was not always "clean" when breastfeeding. I will tell you that my baby is 15 months old now, and he's probably my sharpest, most intelligent amazing little person. Don't know what is really going on with the breastmilk when you drink, but I'm sure you shouldn't feel too guilty that it happened a few times.
I'm so sorry about your brother. That kind of loss is probably the worst. You mourn their death and still have the anger because they chose to end their own life. I have not personally lost anyone to suicide, but I know how it feels to be so lost, and it only takes a moment of un-protested lonliness to make a very final decision. I'm sure if, given the light of another day, a friend to talk to, or a little hope, many suicides would never happen (If I didn't believe that, I too would probably not be here today).
Ironically, I just posted about sleep issues, so I guess we could both benefit from the feedback. I hope you come back. It's somewhat intimidating when you see these folks with 10+ years of sobriety under their belts, but I don't think they'd keep coming here if they didn't understand and want to help.
I guess it is really simple if you look at alcohol this way: Chances are, if it is causing you problems, then you most likely have an alcohol problem.
It is not about how much we drink, or how often. Like you, I abstained during pregnancy. I never drank at work. I never had a DUI or had any terrible consequences from drinking - except that I was full of fear, regret, anger, guilt, shame, and I wanted to numb out all the time. I was miserable. Absolutely miserable.
For me, to drink again is to go back to that way of living. Continue to educate yourself about alcoholism. Only you can really decide if you have a problem with it. As I was told, and believe: "If you are trying to control alcohol, then it is already controlling you."
God bless. We are here to help you on your search! Leslie
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Welcome. If you are looking for a better way to live then you have come to the right place. If you are looking for people who truly care about others - again, you are in the right place. You are not alone.
The problems you described seem overwhelming, don't they? Looking at the situation, I know that if I were still drinking, those life situations would seem unbearable. I would drink to escape the painful reality, and like you, would wake up - sleepless, regretful, frightened, angry, and feeling very very alone.
My first suggestion to you would be to seek some help. A counselor, or a pastor at church, your doctor, etc. You may be suffering from depression that is related to drinking, or it may be depression that is causing you to drink. In either case, depression and drinking is so intertwined that a professional is the best one to help you sort things out and address the problems you are facing. I had to see a counselor for a while for those reasons, and I did that while I was getting sober in Alcoholics Anonymous.
My DH is a good guy, like yours, but he couldn't help me. I needed friends and support from others who had been there and walked the same path that I was walking. I only had one child, but gave up nursing her because I wanted to drink. She was 8 years old when I finally got sober. Today she is almost 20 and she is the light of my life - and we have a fantastic relationship.
You see, there is hope. Reaching out, as you did last night, was the first step in th right direction.
You cannot fix what is happening in your family. You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. What you can do is learn to take care of yourself, and be there for your children. And you can do that with the help of others - friends, who care.
God bless you - please keep coming back.
We are here to help.
Leslie
Welcome truly blessed,
I wanted to welcome you to the board and i hope that you do wake up this morning and post again. my name is Tracy, I am 28 and I also have 3 kids. I have been struggling with my alcohol addiction for about 3-4 years now (pretty much my whole drinking career).
This board is wonderful. If you are looking for friends, guidance, and acceptance, then you have come to the right place!
Your life does seem to be filled with much stress and I really think this could be related to your drinking. With your family history etc. then I do think it is important to seek some kind of counseling or support. It is normal to feel guilt after having a drinking episode, I think everyone feels that way. I keep a journal off and online, and that helps me to be able to look back at those drinking episodes and how I felt.
I do not think you are a bad mother. You came here because you do realize you are having problems with alcohol and you want to change them so you can be an even better mother. I hope this board can offer you some guidance, and most importantly, some friends!
Hugs, Tracy
Great post Leslie!
Amy
Welcome!
It's great to see a new member!
Have you tried a Greif support group?
I Vi;;age has one.
Have you thought of not nursing?
My 3 were bottle babies who thrived.
Drinking throws your blood sugar off
hence the sleep problems..
Here is a Sleep Link
http://www.well.com/user/mick/insomnia/
Blessings to you and your family...
Wow, your sleep problems sound just like mine. I would get drunk and fall asleep and pop awake in the middle of the night. Usually I would be nauseated and nervous. I would feel soooo guilty. Mostly because I thought about the damage I was doing to my body.
You're right. Drinking 3x per week is not unhealthy. Getting drunk is. I hope you can find some help here or with a counselor so you don't feel the need to get drunk.
Keep us updated. There is a lot of good advice here.
Lucky
palmtrees and breezes
~Jolene~
"Community Leader for Alcohol Problems Board"
Host for Tuesday night chat at 9pm est
"You never know what we might talk about..."
Click here for the :AlcoholProblemsChatroom
Truly Blessed,
I'll be your friend if you need one. We have a lot of similar issues. I too have three children, and I was not always "clean" when breastfeeding. I will tell you that my baby is 15 months old now, and he's probably my sharpest, most intelligent amazing little person. Don't know what is really going on with the breastmilk when you drink, but I'm sure you shouldn't feel too guilty that it happened a few times.
I'm so sorry about your brother. That kind of loss is probably the worst. You mourn their death and still have the anger because they chose to end their own life. I have not personally lost anyone to suicide, but I know how it feels to be so lost, and it only takes a moment of un-protested lonliness to make a very final decision. I'm sure if, given the light of another day, a friend to talk to, or a little hope, many suicides would never happen (If I didn't believe that, I too would probably not be here today).
Ironically, I just posted about sleep issues, so I guess we could both benefit from the feedback. I hope you come back. It's somewhat intimidating when you see these folks with 10+ years of sobriety under their belts, but I don't think they'd keep coming here if they didn't understand and want to help.
Best of luck to you.
Jen
Hello,
Yes I am still here.
Hi - I am so glad you came back.
I guess it is really simple if you look at alcohol this way:
Chances are, if it is causing you problems, then you most likely have an alcohol problem.
It is not about how much we drink, or how often. Like you, I abstained during pregnancy. I never drank at work. I never had a DUI or had any terrible consequences from drinking - except that I was full of fear, regret, anger, guilt, shame, and I wanted to numb out all the time. I was miserable. Absolutely miserable.
For me, to drink again is to go back to that way of living. Continue to educate yourself about alcoholism. Only you can really decide if you have a problem with it. As I was told, and believe: "If you are trying to control alcohol, then it is already controlling you."
God bless. We are here to help you on your search!
Leslie
Here is info that is interestings...re drinking.
http://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/faqs.htm#1
Glad you have stayed with us...we do understand.
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