New here - where do I start
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New here - where do I start
| Thu, 04-20-2006 - 4:32am |
I am a 41 year old mother of two kids, ages 8 and 4. I can't seem to manage my drinking. I don't really drink that much at any one time, but rarely go a day without drinking and over the course of a week it really adds up. The time of day that I drink is from 5-8pm, when I am cooking, eating dinner, and getting the kids ready for bed. I have 2-3 glasses of wine. The problem is, that I NEED and really crave the wine every day at the same time. So over the course of the week I drink up to four bottles of wine by myself. My husband drinks about the same amount I do, but he is almost twice my size. I know the wine makes me sleep less soundly and makes it so I am tired all the time (which is part of the reason I need the wine to get me through the evening). I get intent upon making changes and then go right back to my old behavior. I feel like I have no willpower. Any suggestions for making it just through those hours.

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Hello and welcome
Well, asking for suggestions here is...well...asking for it.
I am a mom of 2, a 10 &1/2 year old and an almost 2. I am almost 45 and have been sober for 16 years. I did it by joining AA. That is one suggestion. The other suggestion is to tell yourself to "postpone"
I've never been able to do moderation. I did try a couple of times but it was just too hard - constantly thinking about when I could have a drink, how long I needed to wait, how to get through the hours until I could have one. And the inevitable guilt and self-loathing when I wasn't able to drink in moderation (which was never). Two or three glasses of wine doesn't seem a lot, but it's not the amount you drink, it's how it affects you and how you feel about it. If you're posting on a board about alcohol problems, you probably are beginning to acknowledge it's a problem. If it's a problem, it's a problem. I know people who needed inpatient rehab treatment for four cans of lager a day. I know others who could drink a bottle of spirits a day without any apparent ill effects (mainly because it didn't bother them in the least if they couldn't and didn't drink).
The thought of not drinking at all, ever, is really scary. So I don't think of it. I just don't drink today. You can do anything at all for only a few hours. Put it off. Drink tomorrow. I did that in rehab - I had a pact with another patient that tomorrow we'd escape and drive into town and drink champagne until we fell over. It was always tomorrow, lets just get through today. Someone told me at a meeting once that after one year sober, he said to his sponsor, I suppose I've got to get through another year now. And his sponsor said, don't be silly, you've just got to get through til bedtime.
Congratulations for seeking answers to your drinking.
Alcoholism is a disease and it is progressive.
I am not saying you are an alcoholic however
I suggest you get more factual info
My favorite book on alcoholism is
"Under The Influence"
and it has a sequel..."Beyond The Influence"
Both can be ordered from Amazon...
BtW... 1 of wine dailt is considered moderate drinking by the
medical experts.
opps..1 glass - 5 ounces is what I meant. Sorry
Edited 4/21/2006 1:53 am ET by carol777
Edited 4/21/2006 1:56 am ET by carol777
Hi Anne,
You are a heavy drinker. Carol is correct the NIADA(National Institute of Alcohol and Drug Abuse) defines moderate alcohol consumption by women as 1 drink a day, for men two.
None of us are here to make a diagnosis. We are here to share our experiences, strength and hope with others. Or weaknesses to for that matter.
I suggest to have an appointment with your Dr. Be honest about your drinking. Alcohol is a predator and for the habitual user can grab hold of anyone. If I were you I would ask your Dr. for a liver function test. Then make a decision as to what you want to do. If you can't stick to one glass of wine daily then get help for your sake. If you have liver damage abstinence is a must.
Service in recovery,
Paul
Castaway
A Friend in Recovery
Paul
Hi Ann and welcome! Thank you for your honest post. I am a 36 year old mom of 3(11, 10, 6). I drank the same times you describe! ALWAYS during dinner. Wow, went I think back, how did I do it.
I'm here to share what has worked for me: completely abstaining for 2 1/2 years. I have shared my ups and downs and white knuckle times with those who were on the same path as me. I share that with all those who
Hi there! My name is Leslie and I am a recovering alcoholic. You described my drinking almost exactly. I was a wife, mother, teacher, and come 4:30 in the afternoon I was hitting the wine. When I got to the point where I craved the alcohol and stopped sleeping, I found help in the program of AA. I discovered this board about 4 years ago and in addition to AA meetings and recovering friendships, I found kindness and caring right here!
Keep coming back - let us know how we can help!
Leslie
Hi and welcome. I am a SAHM of an 8yo boy. Married 16 years. I drink daily around the same time you do. I have read the Moderation Management website www.moderation.org and liked some of what I read. I took some of their suggestions and have cut down from 6-8 per night to 2-3 per night. That is still not healthy for a woman and I am working toward 1-2 per night. I am very proud of catching this drinking problem early. I was having sleep problems nightly which lead to anxiety which made me self medicate by nighttime and the cycle would continue. I was also having horrible stomach problems.
I wonder what it is with moms and drinking around dinner time. Did you see that theme in this thread?
Good luck in whatever method you choose. You will feel so much better after taking control.
Lucky
Oh, and by catching it early I mean before it turned into alcoholism. I have been drinking heavily since I was 16. I'm 40 now.
Lucky
Pediatric Stroke, even kids get them
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