Sunday's Surprise: Open The Envelope (m)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sunday's Surprise: Open The Envelope (m)
35
Sun, 01-20-2002 - 12:18pm

Sunday's Surprise: Open The Envelope (m)


This week, the exercise has two parts. First, write a recording you’d hear on an answering machine, and then write a (at least one but more if you’d like) message a person would leave after hearing it.

Pages

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Sun, 01-20-2002 - 1:16pm

"Hello..."


...(this is an actual message I left on my machine once as a joke for a very close friend.)

"Hello... (pause for a count of three seconds). Sorry about that, just couldn't resist. You've reached the Sammi and Joe Doe residence, please don't hang up, we really want to take your call. Please leave your name and number and we'll get back to you."

First Message: "Funny, Sammi, you really had me there for a second." (Laughter on the other end--not the friend that this message was intended for.) "This is Tracy, can you please have Summer call me back?" (More laughter.)

Second Message: "Ahh, you!" (Laughter--the friend the message was intended for.) "Got me, you did." (More laughter.) "Get back at ya later."

It was funny then. Sammi

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
Sun, 01-20-2002 - 6:13pm

What the f@#$! Oh, never mind!


Ring, ring, ring..."HEY! How's it goin'?" (long pause)

Caller: "Listen Kat, I was wondering if I should bring dessert for out meeting on Thursday? Kat...? Kat?

Kat: "No one's home to take your call right now, but if you stayed on longer enough to talk to a blank tape, you must be a friend. Leave a message and I WILL call YOU back!"beeeeeep...

After our friend's started leaving obscene, pissy messages about how long they had to wait to leave a message, we changed the recording. It was pretty funny for a while.

Avatar for jadetigerroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Sun, 01-20-2002 - 7:22pm

Heheh Good one


Thats cool I have to remember that one!!!!

Jade

Have a mystical day,

Jade

Please Pray and Support O

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 01-20-2002 - 7:48pm

I bet you did get some (m)


pissy messages!!! LOL. Good one, Kat.

Mac

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 01-20-2002 - 7:53pm

I should've known you (m)


would record a tricky message like this. Thanks for the laugh.

Mac

Avatar for jadetigerroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Sun, 01-20-2002 - 9:40pm

Sounds like fun!!! (nt)


Have a mystical day,

Jade

Please Pray and Support O

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 01-20-2002 - 9:59pm

Here's mine (m)


Thank God, this didn't come from personal experience-LOL. Just thought it'd be an interesting message to hear on an answering machine.

Mac

* * *

“Hello. You’ve reached the home of Jim and Deborah Reimer. (Pause) Of course, after Friday, this will be my home alone because my husband can’t seem to...oh how should I put it...Jim, can’t keep his pickle in his pocket. Or least he can’t when that slut at his office is around. So leave a message if you want a call back.

Caller: Debbie, hey, I got back from Cancun and when I went in to work today I saw that you’d come in for a pregnancy test. I was calling to say how sorry I was but after hearing your message, I guess you’re probably glad the test was negative. Give me a call, girl.

Caller: Jim, look if you get this message before that b*@#h you’re married to erases it, I need to talk to you. She’s going around telling everyone at my husband’s restaurant that we’re screwing around. Call me.

Caller: Hi, Deborah, this is Frank Copeland. I guess you were right about our spouses having an affair. I checked with some other people at their work and they sort of confirm what you were saying. If you want to talk, my number is 555-9035.

Avatar for jadetigerroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Sun, 01-20-2002 - 11:03pm

LOL...(m)


Oh my that would be a gut buster to hear!!

Jade

Have a mystical day,

Jade

Please Pray and Support O

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Mon, 01-21-2002 - 2:11pm

I wonder who'd hear the messages first? Lol (nt)


Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Mon, 01-21-2002 - 2:57pm

Ryan's machine...


Ryan's Answering Machine

“Hi… thanks for calling me…. I’ve been so lonely lately. I’ve been feeling that nobody loves me, that nobody cares…. I lost my job six months ago…and my car was stolen… My girlfriend took my cat with her when she moved out…. God I loved that cat… My mom won’t speak to me because I didn’t take her advice and go to law school…. So if you’re still listening, um thanks, and please leave me a message…”

“This is a message for Ryan Green. This is the Alacazam Public Library calling. Since you have twenty unreturned books and over $500 in late fines, we have terminated your borrowing privileges. The titles of the books you have not returned are as follows: “Life, Why Bother?” “Overcoming Depression… or Not” “Getting Your Cat Back” “101 Ways to Commit Suicide” “Suicide Notes: What to Include” …”

“Ryan, it’s Sheila. I took Skittles to the vet and you owe $1700 including the X-rays and the medication. I need that money by Friday, latest.”

“Have you ever wanted to learn to play Guitar? My name is Joe Strum, and I have a limited time offer, 50% off monthly lessons if you sign up for a year’s instruction. That’s over a $1400 value. Don’t delay, call today. Joe Strum, 555-1234.”

“Ryan, look, get a job or go back to school. Mom’s all over me to go to law school because you were a no good loser who never amounted to anything. You have no idea how much she harps on me, day after day after day… I hope you’re happy that she’s on my case now.”

“This is a message for Ryan Green. This is the College of New Horizons calling. We regret to tell you that since your SAT scores are lower than a cat’s, your application has been denied. As this is the fifth time you’ve failed the application process, we strongly urge you to look for retail work, perhaps in a drive-thru restaurant. You are clearly not New Horizons material. Good day. “

“This is a message for Ryan Green. This is Lenny Black of the Bad Luck Collection Agency calling on behalf of an outstanding debt you have with the Regional Hospital as a result of your suicide attempt. The amount owing is $12, 345. We can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way, it’s up to you. Call me back by Wednesday noon, at 555-4444.”

Pages