Made an A** of myself last night w/wine
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|Wed, 07-26-2006 - 4:55pm|
Nice. Well I allowed myself to get trashed last night, and I mean noticeably wasted to the point where I blacked out and BF to ld me that was out of control drunk-he said it was "a real doozie."
Again, more shame, more hangover, and my problems in which I was trying to drink away.....brace yourselves: Was still here when I woke up! Oh excpet now I was queezy AND had a headache AND ruined an entire day. Ready for some more Slaps of irony? The very gthing I was trying to "escape" from came back to bite me HARD. 8:00 a.m. I get a phone call-my mom who had called me from hearing voices telling her to kill herself (this was the spawn aka excuse I needed to tie one on) I get the call from her social worker highly reccomending hospitalization. Nice. So sick, barfy, hung over, pounding headache, THE reason I chose to drink out of self pity (for having such a mentally sick mom that I take care of and have since I was 19) got out of bed and went to herhouse to convince her to go the crisis center for 3-10 days to get some help.
It's a shame that she is so sad and so sick; whats he dosn't need is her only source of help, love and genuine support (me) to turn into a raging alcaholic that can no longer help her because I can't seem to help myself.
IN a rambling nutshell: I had nother wake up call....hopefully this time I will answer.
Take care and thanks to all who read my rambles.