**Quit for 30 days**

Avatar for rosolo
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
**Quit for 30 days**
21
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 8:10am

For everyone who is asking themselves, do I have a problem with alcohol,I will share what someone once shared with me.

Quit for 30 days.

If you DON"T have a problem, this will present no problem. You won't go thru the withdrawal, or cravings that those with problems do.

All programs support this idea, even those supporting moderation.

So...give it a whirl. What is 30 days in the scheme of our lives??????

It will certainly answer the question, "do I have a problem"

Peace,
Rose

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2006
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 8:32am

Excellent idea! I am not ready to try it but I may be forced to this fall as I might go on medication that is highly toxic to the liver and it's suggested to abstain from alcohol. Yikes!

Lucky

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2001
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 9:05am

HI Rosolo,

This is one trial by abstinence. It is a plausible worthwhile effort for some, I think.
I heard a story once about religous folks who committed to abstinence for lent. Men did remain alcohol free for forty days. But many of them, on Easter Sunday, headed straight for their neighborhood bar and there remained for the rest of the day getting blasted out of their skulls. Missing family get together Easter dinner, much to the chagrin of their wives and family. So who is to decide if these guys had a problem after forty days of abstinence but couldn't wait to drink again?

Does anyone remember Marty Mann's formula. Marty was the first woman in AA. Marty's plan was to limit yourself to this, I think. Limit oneself to one drink a day. For X amount of days. That is the part I forget. It was either 30 or 60. I am thinking 30. It was not a requirement to drink everyday. But if you do------one drink. NO banking drinks! That is if you don't drink for ten days that doesn't mean you can have 11 on day 11. One! That's it. Those days you don't feel like drinking, fine, don't drink. Marty said if you have a problem you will lose control in that time period and get drunk.

I may not have this exactly right, but the general idea is on target. It may have been 60 or even 90 days. Does anyone remember? It similar to Rosolo's plan but does allow for one trial drink daily.

I think all this yada, yada, yada, yada about moderation and managing drinking by counting drinks and all the other little mind games of pretending no problem exists, the denial, is more harmful than helpful to those here who are seriously seeking our help.

I am not singling out any particular person or persons I am simply offering an opinion after 38 years of my recovery experience. These are my views, your free to think what you will and do as you please as we all are.

Pray for peace,
Stay safe,
Service in recovery,

Paul

Castaway


A Friend in Recovery


Paul

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2006
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 10:06am

But, Paul, what if there IS no denial that a problem exists? What if a person admits they have a problem and corrects it with moderation? What is the harm in that? No mind games of pretending no problem exists. Just admitting there is a problem and fixing it by correcting the drinking behavior.

I love the idea of limiting drinking to one a day for 30 or 60 days, or whatever, to see if there is a problem. A person who can't do this will more than likely fail at moderation, IMHO, because they don't want to succeed at it. These people need to make a choice, drink in moderation or quit.

Lucky

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 1:58pm
I have to agree with Lucky on this. I am having problems with this board for several reasons. First, The Regular Posters only seem supportive if you decide to quit drinking, and that means now! Period. End of story. This being the Alcohol Problems board - I didn't know that you had to qualify to post here by the perimeters of what other board posters deem "serious" (that was really un-kewl, Paul). What is not serious to one may be serious to someone else. A little narrow (in every sense), in my view, that everyone who isn't AA and posts is in denial - that's like saying everyone's the same - no shades of gray. Secondly, even though there is a completely separate board, called 12 Step Recovery? I think, all you ever get on this board is AA this and AA that (excluding wifemomteacher who had graciously posted all the other known entities that help gain sobriety). And last, the board has a tendency to promote all or nothing attitudes and that is when you get a very dead board (sound familiar?) because others, like myself, don't want to post and get lectured for our efforts.
Sorry to offend but try looking at another perspective....
Kelli





<
Avatar for rosolo
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 2:13pm

Whoa there!!!

I am not in any formal type of program. I don't attend AA meetings, or any other type
of formal group/program meetings.

For me., my biggest self-realization was learning about growing up as the eldest child
of an alcoholic., an ACOA. I read everything I can still get my hands on about alcohol abuse, alcoholism, and addiction.

This board was the turning point in helping make the decision to quit and remain sober.
The "AAers" here have shared with me what has been shared with them and what they have experienced. I may not have liked "hearing" what they had to say, but, that was my choice.

Usually, what they said was something I did need to hear. Most of us don't like hearing that our choices and actions are not the healthiest.

It is all about choice.

You have a choice to post, not post, to drink or not drink, to take what you want and leave the rest.

I think for any of us, to act like we don't have a problem, yet have searched for and found a board addressing that problem is foolish. I came here with a problem, and asked
for help. I can't get ticked, because the help that is offered isn't what I want to hear.

Read up, get the facts. Alcoholism and alcohol abuse kill people, family and realtionships.

What we do with the help and information offered is also our choice.

Peace,
Rose

Avatar for rosolo
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 2:23pm

PS-with over 1300 posts here, I consider myself a regular!

Peace,
Rose

Avatar for rosolo
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 2:53pm

Lucky,

You have been able to moderate, and follow the guidelines you set for yourself. I congratulate!

I am glad that you have been able to find success, and alleviate the damage excessive alcohol was causing in your life.

I think the key here is for each of us to determine the extent of our problem, and decide what lengths we will go to fix it.

For me, I cannot, hard as I tried, moderate. One lead to two, lead to too many. I just couldn't stop, couldn't drink enough. For a time I "moderated", or should I say, didn't get too drunk. Unfortunately (or actually fortunately), that didn't last too long.

I wanted things to change in my life, in me.

So, I accept that I can't drink, and don't.

Peace,
Rose

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 3:23pm

I do not need to defend or speak for AA - AA speaks for itself. I will share and continue to share openly about what helped me to stay sober. That is AA. If you don't like what I have to say then don't read my posts.

Denial is so insideous that we can be in denial that we are in denial.

The purpose of this board is help people with alcohol problems - period.

God bless, Leslie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2006
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 3:31pm

Please let me add to this. I found sleep problems and daily diareah to be serious. I was skipping work and having panic attacks.

I do not consider daily drinking to be serious. I also don't consider craving alcohol serious. I also don't consider the occasional overindulging to be serious. I DO consider someone's inablity to stop after just one or two to be very serious, but someone's CHOICE to overdrink, IMHO, is not a serious problem.

Everyone is different and drugs, in general, effect everyone differently.

Each personality is different and that's why no one agrees on one single method. The reason AA is so popular is because it's widely promoted NOT because it's the best way (only 5% stay sober.....same any abstinance program). And I don't follow MM because they discourage daily drinking. That doesn't work for me. I don't know how many fail on moderation programs. I would guess quite a few, but no more than absinance programs.

Like I said in the other post, we all have to make the choice to either moderate or quit because being drunk a lot is very bad.

Lucky

Community Leader
Registered: 09-14-1997
Thu, 07-27-2006 - 4:08pm

(((((((((((KELLI))))))))))))))


Thanks for saying I was gracious...I usually get told I am tactless. LOL


I am sorry that you have problems with the board. That isn't what it is about. I agree that some of us are all or nothing. If you ask me about my experience. I would have to tell you that stopping was the only thing that worked for me. I will tell you that AA worked for me. I understand the people on

Pages