SUNDAY'S SURPRISE: Open The Envelope (m)

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Registered: 03-25-2003
SUNDAY'S SURPRISE: Open The Envelope (m)
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Sun, 01-27-2002 - 1:04pm

SUNDAY'S SURPRISE: Open The Envelope (m)


Although we're short story writers, this week let's "open the envelope" and try out hands at screenplay writing. Write the opening scene to your movie. Things to consider might be 1) What music is playing; 2) Where the scene takes place; 3) Is it daytime or at night; 4) Who’s in the scene; 5) What angle or POV is the camera using. Once you’ve got that add a little dialogue. The following link has lots of movie scripts so you can see what the format looks like:

http://www.simplyscripts.com/a.html

The theme is up to you but please limit your scene to 1,000 words or less. Have fun,

Mac

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 01-27-2002 - 7:07pm

The Oscar goes to...LOL...here's mine (m)


This scene involves a song titled Tequila by The Champs. If you’re not familiar with it, you can click on this page (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00004TGYA/qid=1012174978/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_67_1/002-9599533-5607203) and listen to a sample of it thanks to Amazon.

Also, due to problems when you try to post with spaces, something funky happens. So this doesn't follow the appropriate screenplay format.

Mac

* * *

INT. KYLE’S FASTBACK FORD MUSTANG—MID-AFTERNOON

We see a long stretch of highway from Kyle’s POV. The song Tequila is blaring from the radio. KYLE fumbles around the dashboard until he reaches a pack of Marlboros. KYLE crumbles the empty pack and throws it out the window. Then, KYLE reaches into the back seat and gets another pack from the duffle bag.

KYLE: It’s bad enough that I have to listen all the way from LA about what flavor of Gas-X you prefer but quit smoking frickin’ cigs.

RITA stares at KYLE who’s opening the pack of cigarettes for a moment and then turns towards BOBBY who is sitting directly behind the driver’s seat.

RITA: Have you tried the orange ones yet?

BOBBY: No. Like I said, I don’t really have gas problems.

RITA: They taste just like those chewable vitamin C. They’re good. They really are.

KYLE reaches over and turns the knob on the radio. The music grows louder as we see a line of UPS trucks appear over the horizon. KYLE grips the steering wheel with both hands and accelerates the car. As the Mustang approaches the line of brown vehicles, KYLE swerves the car into their lane. The UPS trucks scatter off the road one by one. As the last truck pulls off onto the desert sand, KYLE steers the car back into the right-hand lane.

KYLE: Tequila!

(The End)

Avatar for countrygal23
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-27-2002 - 8:34pm

Pillow Talk


I haven’t a clue at what I’m supposed to do, but I do love trying new things!!! So, here’s my attempt at screen writing

INT: MINDY AT PILLOW TALK CASINO

Mindy is a pretty, curly blonde, 26 and is wearing a leather jacket, over a yellow top and blue jeans,and she wears tennis shoes. She gives the security guard a weak smile before entering.

Security guard: Opens the door for her

The Kerr ching of quarters falling catches her attention as she scans over the slot machines looking for her friend , Laura. She unzips her jacket, retrieves a ten dollar bill, sits down in front of machine called Moolah, inserts the bill and watches her credits increase. After playing five times she becomes distracted by a flashback. An earlier conversation she had with Laura.

Which goes like this: “Mindy, I need you to meet me tonight. Its Important!!!” Laura insists.

“Meet you where? What’s going on?”

Laura lowers her voice, “Meet me at the casino at seven. I’ll explain everything. Click”

Mindy feels a jab on her right arm which brings her back to the present.

INT: A YUMMY Guy, 27 blond, blue eyes, muscular arms, wearing white tee shirt, black jeans and sandals

Mindy watches the offender’s backside as he passes by and stops at the machine, three down from hers. He flashes his bad boy smile then sits down. Mindy turns away then checks her watch. She runs her hand through her blond hair and bites down on her bottom, glossed lip. After ten more spins she cashes out, watching the quarters falling into the plastic cup and goes past the yummy guy whose cologne teases her nostrils. He never looks up as she glances at his tan muscular arms. He reminded her of someone she knew once and it rattles her nerves.

Mindy strolls to the women’s restroom where she composes herself, pulls out her cell phone and dials Laura’s number. It rings six times before she hangs up. She splashes water onto her face, applies more lip-gloss and goes out to search for Laura. Mindy prays that the yummy guy hadn’t recognized her. She gives herself a pep talk, telling herself that he couldn’t have since her looks had been altered.

Mindy continues to play on several machines until she spies the yummy guy lurking near by. Every time she moves to a different aisle he follows.

Mindy panics, she turns to leave, feels his hand on her arm and hears, “Do you know Laura?”

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
Sun, 01-27-2002 - 9:46pm

With a beer chaser!! (m)


If your stories keep heading down this road, we're going to have to figure a way to get your ya-ya's out girl!

I could see it! Maybe THIS is your calling, eh!

Too fun! kat

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
Sun, 01-27-2002 - 9:50pm

Should I wear my jammies!!?!! (m)


There you are Maria! Well, for a gal who hasn't done this before, atta baby!

I wanna meet the yummy guy!

Kat.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2003
Sun, 01-27-2002 - 10:18pm

MaKay, Private Investigator


This is just BAD! But fun!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

INTRO: In a dark, abandon fish warehouse on the seedy end of Frisco’s Fisherman’s Warf, MaKay, a lithe, yet large breasted brunette, who’s a Private Eye is pinned on the hard cement floor under the 265lb. escaped con, King, who owes his vacation stay at San Quinten, to MaKay’s clever work five years ago on a drug bust that was also tied to gem smugglers. His knee digs into her right shoulder as his massive left hand constricts her throat.

KING: MaKay, you smug little pixie, I’ve waited a long time for this, and now you’re going to feel my gratitude for that lovely trip to San Quinten.

MaKAY: KaKahHA…ING, if you would give me a…

KING: Look at the pixie’s eyes grow bigger by the minute. You like Kings walk down memory lane, do ya?

King who is so engrossed with the transition of expressions on MaKay’s face dosen’t notice her fumbling in her coat pocket from which she pulls a knife.

KING: AHHHHHH! You bit…cha.

MaKay: Oh God, Oh God, get off me, uhhh HA. (she rolls King off her)

Darrell, MaKay’s partner who has been speeding to the warehouse where the emeralds are stashed, finally arrives.

DARRELL: MaKay! God, I tried to get here as soon as I could. Jeez, look at the blood all over you, are you OK?

MaKAY: I’m beginning to think I should look for a new partner.

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Sun, 01-27-2002 - 11:13pm

Yummy, yummy, yummy...


This sounds great to me. So who is that yummy guy and how does he fit in with Laura? Great job with the suspense.

Have a good night, Eyewrite

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Sun, 01-27-2002 - 11:18pm

New partner indeed...


This wasn't bad at all, though your intro sentence runs a wee long. I can picture the wharf, because I got to stay in SF for a week in 2000.

Have a good night, Eyewrite

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Sun, 01-27-2002 - 11:20pm

Funny, Mac...


(I hope that's your intent!) So with Gas-X and UPS trucks, we really start to wonder what these clowns are up to. Oh, and I went to your link to listen to the clip and it was precisely the song I had dreamed up in my head. So I may be more hip than I thought :)

Have you ever tried shopping a screenplay around?

Have a good night, Eyewrite

Avatar for jadetigerroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Mon, 01-28-2002 - 5:41am

Ack why did you do this to us Mac??? Here is Mine!


I hope this is what you are looking for I did do a little screenwriting in college but one week of it doesn’t stick to well in your mind after a few years. If this is not up to par I will try and redo it ( I think unless I go crazy... no wait I am already Crazy.)

Jade

PS: This is a book of mine in the making that I used

The Lady For Copperhead Ranch

FADE IN: 1. looking at a wide angle shot of a ranch Over scene, we SUPER TITLE: Copperhead Ranch, Wyoming

2. On the road leading to Copperhead Ranch - Jess is standing along side the road with a camera in hand. Her skirt moves in the breeze. She is looking around for a man to pose for her new line of western gear.

3. A small girl (Maralin) come tearing up the rode on her bike not paying any attention

4. Maralin crashes into Jess (the bike tumbles end over end and hits Jess’s car) the girls skid in the gravel getting scraped up

Maralin: "Sorry lady I better get home before Dad sees me."

Jess POV looking at the girls bloody knees and arms

Jess: "why don’t I go with you and clean up your cuts"

Maralin nods

5. Fade into the small ranch bathroom. (Maralin is sitting on the bathroom counter as Jess paws through the First Aid kit. (Jesse fixes her up and lifts her down form the counter as Mitch walks into the hallway.

6. Mitch’s POV, Shows what he would see, the long hallway then the 2 people in the bathroom. He stands there and watched the lady bandaging his daugter up.

Mitch: "What the hell is going on!" (as Jess sets the girl down)

Maralin: "Daddy I hit this lady with my bike I’m sorry" (as she ran out of the room)

Mitch is staring at Jess her dress is torn and covered with dust. (CLOSE UP of her face as the he notices the start of a black eye PAN down to her hands and then her legs)

Mitch: "Well Miss since you fixed my kid up I guess that I had better fix you up. What’s your name?"

Jess: (IN A WHISPER) Jess

Mitch: "Well Jess I am Mitch." (as he leads her to the couch carrying the First Aid Kit.)

Have a mystical day,

Jade

Please Pray and Support O

Avatar for jadetigerroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Mon, 01-28-2002 - 5:45am

Great Job!!! Were can I find that Man? (nt)


Have a mystical day,

Jade

Please Pray and Support O

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